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Yanamari May 2017
My love, is like that of
A plant and an oxygen molecule;
It enters my heart and
Nourishes my soul
So that
When it takes its leave
And I see it again,
In its changed form,
Its value is lost to me.

My love is like that of
Alcohol on a wound
Its intoxicating nature pains me
And yet cleanses me
So that when the pain disappears
And the alcohol evaporates
The wound feels prolonged pain
Til it heals,
Even then leaving a scar.

My love... is like that of
A fading memory
With passing time
And lack of remembrance,
When brought forth again,
It becomes a wistful memory.

My love is
Ever so fleeting,
Always misleading,
Waning,
Carefully reeling;
Withdrawing in confusion
Shutting doors,
It ignores
The warmth that surrounds it
For the fear of
Hurting again.

In its fear,
My heart begins to tear
My body loses its warmth
My words lose their strength
My mind loses it conviction
My soul...
Suffers, oppressed in its
Painted prison.
Yanamari May 2017
The water rushes is in
Slammi--

The water laps gently
On the side of a metal container
In the darknes--

Slamming
Flooding
Almost choking
Encompassin--

The water recedes
The white froth forming momentarily
Bubbles dancing
Back and forth--

Back and forth...
Back and forth
Deafening
Silently
Ripping
Tearin--

It sloshes
Using its smooth shrivelled hands
To wave away the heat
Wiping off the droplets--

The container vibrates violently
The echoing sounds of the
Tumultuous noise ricocheting
Inside the metal walls
Of the empty
Contai--
Yanamari May 2017
What compels one to believe
That they must seek permission to feel free
To express themselves openly
When neither does any person own the worlds
Nor do they have any right over you.

And as the soul reacts to the
Colours that you paint it
And as the soul emits a cry of agony
The swirling walls seeping into its body
It reaches out
On a two dimensional plane
Laid bare with the souls of all, strewn
In whatever manner each soul can take
Because each soul has its due
And each soul must use
Whatever it can to survive.
Yanamari Apr 2017
I want to scream
Scream at the top of my lungs
Scream out the emptiness within
To my heart's content
Until naught remains within

I want to express myself openly
Spread my arms out widely
Cry in grief shamelessly
Keeping my heart on my sleeve.

But having painted our souls
And having tainted our eyes
And faking our smiles
Never really hearing, except what we like
We distort normality
And limit morality
But with the tainted,
Painted perspectives we hold
Morality is always relative.
Yanamari Apr 2017
Why is it we're always
Surrounded by water?
Birth
Struggle
Cleansing
Drowning
Lost.

What makes water
A universal dissolver?
What changes when we submerge
And when we float?
What makes water
Both a healer and a
Suffocator?
Like two sides of a coin
It spins and it spins...
Rather than continue, I'll leave it up to the reader to make connections
Yanamari Apr 2017
If I could paint the skies
I would paint it with the links of my mind
I would paint it with cyans and magentas and limes
Reds and oranges and yellows
Blacks and greys and white
All sorts of colours
I would paint it with sorrow and happiness alike
I would paint it with the voice of my soul alight
I would paint the sky with my emptiness...
And the result
Would be the same night sky I see.
Stars shining bright
No hint of any other colour but
The midnight painted with white spots.
Galaxies invisible
Shooting stars veiled
The moon irrepressible
The stars afield
Their lights not powerful
But gentle on the eyes
Caressing the soul
Of the weary and tired.

If I could paint the skies...
And if only I could,
I would paint it all colours alike
With a thick paintbrush
Soaked in a water airy as can be...
But, that is,
If only.
There is actually an alternate to this poem, a darker alternate stained in red. But people can only see what they want to see...
Yanamari Apr 2017
I stare into the clouded night sky
That shines the light of the sun on the clouds
Via the moon that orbits the Earth
Continuously
Round and round
Held in by
Just the right amount
Of gravity.
Nothing more,
Nothing less.

I am the moon
That moves on continuously
Seeking something more
But spending time frivolously.
Not moving forward
Or backward
But
Riding a course almost effortlessly
Weighing the balance of my course
On the moment and not
Resisting the force of the Earth.

I am the Earth
Attracting nothing useful to myself
Losing my health exponentially
My skin scars grow deeper
With the pollution of the bacteria
Ever multiplying
Not even their deaths diminishing
The pain of my barrier being torn
By my internal conflict
And I...
Just float.
Orbiting a greater body than I.

I am the sun
Feeling not the heat that is embedded
Within me
I question
If I can really feel anymore
Even though my skin is warm
My core still fusing,
Beating,
Emotions clashing within me
So much so that my body
Distances its core
From the surface
And I forget to worry
If...
I expand so far
And then collapse
Into myself
And become a void
******* in emotions
Numbly
Because I lost what was left of me.

I am the universe
Full of mystery
Full of dark shades
And galaxies plenty
Many planets,
Stars and satellites
That whirl and whirl
Into sight
Or disappear in a black hole.
I am the universe
That continues to expand
Stretching
Straining
Out of hand
Continuing on
Because I can
And this universe
This body is not mine
I cannot end it
At least,
It has not expended enough
To implode
Nor do I want it to
By the will that subconsciously
Remains within me.
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