It took me long time to start writing again,
so I started by lifting my pen.
Keep it simple i said,
and in a second I was inspired.
At one point I was frightened I might not write again, or find the time.
I was in a different place and the moment changed in a second, and in my mind time was mine again.
Life took over and work just became me. Some choose to and some have to, it's a crying shame.
Now I'm close to where I need to be,
So I can be free and enlightened and back to the moments that I'll always hold closest to my heart and soul.
So those targets and goals were temporary,
but it turns out it's not what you have but who you are that remains permanently ingrained in your memory.
So glad to be writing again even though it's just a small piece
Winging on thermals
across river valleys
counting days until
Is the ocean long?
Or is the ocean deep?
Will I walk 1000 miles?
Or sink 1000 feet?
Will I drown in liquid misery?
Or fall in rays of hate?
Will I walk my chosen path?
Or will I scuffle with my fate?
Will I embrace the raging rapids?
Or will I consume the beating flame?
Will I be judged?
And not ordained
To be insane
In times of here and now
Time has seen me crumble
And time will see me bow
When I fall
Their will be no surprise
The sun will only stare
And laugh at my demise
Then I will realize
In the soul of every beat
That I have walked 1000 miles
And will sink a 1000 feet
But not to take defeat
Or die with no love to keep
But to tell a story to the youth
Of why my soles are weak
I close my eyes
And wished upon the rumors of a dandelion
Counting through my endless supply of box's full of overused stardust, the wishes that solidified when spoken
I finally found the childhood dream I thought was to stupid to speak
The dream that made me hold my breath so no one could solidify it before it could spread its wings
Then label me for spilling out my own human opinion
My lips stay closed
Locked and sealed away in a thin line
Scared that the world would be curious
And peel my lips off, bash my teeth in
Just to make me speak
That's what the world does when you decide to be silent
... But the world needs to know
I cannot hide this anymore
Maybe the world could lend an ear
And not criticize the shooting stars in my eyes
Maybe the world will look at my starry eyes and wish it plausible
I open my mouth
And present the world with my wish
I **** in my desperate breath
And blow away the seeds of life
Watching it drift along slowly
My words testing the air
I look out into the horizon
The morning dew falling out of their earthly homes
Natures suicide bombers
Plummeting to the ground
Man running toward man
War played in front of me
Laughing at my solidified wish
That is resting in my ****** palms
Peace can't save my chipped and cracked teeth
My peeled and beaten lips
I should have kept my mouth shut
You were my home
My endless supply of comfort to my wounded heart
My happy when my sky was blue
For a hue of you was medicine
I would bleed and bleed
Drip drip dripping wet tears on dry pavement
A trail of tears for searching eyes
Was It wise
For me to assume that you were blind
Unconsciously following along
Preoccupied with other trails
Do I need a leash with bells for you to listen?
Do I need brail upon my skin for you to read, why I decide to breath?
Do I need to pay attention?
Do I need new prescription lenses?
Have you been smiling all this time?
I know you love my flaws like broken dolls
Young children can't forget.
I forgot to stay
When sky's are gray
To know if you are true
I packed too quick
I made me sick
I chosen to see love blue
I took my heart
Left her drip drip dripping
A trail of broken tears
Hoping for searching eyes
I was always too blind
To pay attention
My father never called and said im sorry i miss you
Yeah love is hard but trying was truly the issue
Im not gonna lie i could cry but life wont give you a tissue
So i ****** it up
Being brave stuck like a suction cup
Laugh it off like i never gave a ****
My life was ***** but my moms was a mess
If others saw my struggle they would consider my life blessed
They saw people tumble and crumble for less
But the real ones always wish you the best
Heroine addicts follow streams under thin skin
Your slowly killing yourself again and again
Skipping lifes movie waiting for the credits to end
10 shots 20 cops lock one man in a pin
Thick bars with faded scars poetry without the paper and pen
The problem is that there is no help
Just many witnesses
Guilty to the soul who fails to show us his innocence
You didnt do the crime but blind minds cant see the differences
Yes we all sin like the ending of the book of genisis
People need to understand the struggle
Know that some people dont have the muscle to stand
No family to give him a hand
Distant relationships so far like earth to mars no stars to climb on
All alone dial the phone no ring tone
Silence like dumpster babies
Mothers making deals with hades
Couldn't afford prescription ******
So you wait 9 months to take 9 seconds to get a garbage bag
Throw the baby away then run off to class
You dont wanna be late
Today a good lesson about the value of fate
Learn to own up to every single mistake
Ok your sorry well im sorry your late
There is a hussle in the struggle and its hard to recieve
That there are many different people who struggle with fees
Too many of them its like your dealing with flees
You need someone to bless you
But you forgotton to sneeze
Every body is losing grasp and keep on falling on knees
Tryna hide behind cover but there is no leaves on the trees
The hussle of a struggle is always hard to achieve
Only one savior can make all man truly believe
I havent posted anything in a very long time
You're so pretty
I'm so self confident
No you aren't
I'm almost pompous
I thought you hated yourself
My confidence lies in my appearance
But not usually in my actions
You hate everything you do
A poser, *if you will
Oh, but none of that matters when you say you love yourself
The thoughts are passing
Just a bit of anxiety
I wish you could see how it feels
It's not the normal self hate
Not when you pretend
So surprise, my friends
You're queen is living a lie
And once you've read this
*She'll pretend it never happened
I'm sorry you had to learn this way