Moving through my head,
like I'm neck deep in mud.
eyes foggy & ears ringing,
losing feeling in my fingers...
'cause I'm gripping my head,
breathing air that's hot
--like fire
Did I close my eyes,
I never can tell.
trembling, I whisper important things.
~keep a hold of your head, PROTECT it~
I lower my head, my life, between my knees;
ragged puffs of air STING when they hit my legs
the floor drops, the mud gets thicker
'til I am encased in it,
in my head,
I'm stuck floating in this fuzzy sensation.
Somethings changed
& the space around me
is whisked away, I fall
but only an inch or two.
dirt in my hair,
my body is now bare...
but I don't feel the need to cover myself.
My feet frozen,
but I stand, start to walk, then a little faster,
I run & all I hear is the sound of my feet
hitting the linoleum floor------
I know I'm in a narrow hall
even though I can't see.
Smell of disinfectant and stainless steel----
monitors beep and some flat line,
that's when I feel a breeze, more footsteps,
like mine but heavier, faster... w/more urgency.
I stop running, just before a door.
I see it only at the very edge of my vision,
it opens the moment I look away,
this room smells different
I take a step inside maybe two...
before I had the chance to close the door,
someone closes it for me...
I beat at the door 'til my hands bloodied------
I knew... but still I came... & the door never opened.
No real subject to this...
I kinda just turned off my brain and started writing.