Dread crawls up my spine,
originating at
the small of my back
and leaving
penetrating
residue
on each
vertebra
as it climbs.
It sneaks
into my heart
when I'm
not looking
and POUNCES-
its incisors
clamp down
and its
venom
ejects
into my chest;
paralysis begins there and races outwards right into my limbs and brain until I can't think or move as the hallucinogens take over my mind's eye and play me a reel that boils my stomach.
Loss and
loneliness and
heartbreak
flash before my
eyes in a
sickening torrent.
I feel a
W  A  L  L
of irresistible
time behind my
back,
pushing me,
heels digging in
and pleading "no, no"
the whole way,
slowly, but inevitably
towards the end of everything I've ever known,
and everyone that
I've so
recently
grown to truly,
dearly love
as my friends.

So many around me
are counting down
to that day,
bound to the
same force as I,
but feeling it
instead
as a leash
that will only let
them go
inch
          by
                inch,
                      ­   day
                                 by
                                       day.

For them, a prison break;
for me, a life sentence
of aching for
the people
I've only just
claimed as mine;
among them,
the boy I've held on to,
just starting to become a man,
whom I love
with all my
bruised
and scarred heart.

I don't want to leave.
                                     .
                                      .
                       ­                .

I wish you were still here,
but I'm kinda glad you're not,
you'd see the miserable excuse,
of a man I have become.

I love you so much,
I wish our hands were,
intertwined tightly,
your head on my chest.

I miss you, y'know?
You had all of my heart,
all of me, period you had,
it hurt like hell when you left.

You probably had to leave,
couldn't keep me in your life,
with all the family drama,
but I understand.

If you could have kept me you,
would have kept me,
but it doesn't stop the pain
of you not being here with me.

I miss you, y'know?
I love you.

Rocking around the world
Looking for a girl
Who can fill the empty spot
Within my life
Looking for a girl
I can't seem to find
Still got time,
But I really need
Somebody who will give
All they've got to me
Someone, I can wake up with
Where can I find someone like this

I've been searching high
I've been searching low
Looking for a girl
I'd like to get to know
Inside out, upside down
Like the back of my hand
I think I've found one I can

The girl is fire
I'm heating up with lust
And I don't even care
If I get burnt
The girl is fire
She's the one
I've just gotta kiss
I have to taste those lips
I've gotta run my hands
Over that body
Hope you know
You're really doing it for me

If you wanna be with me
This is what I'm gonna need
Somebody who'll sing
there lungs out with me
You wanna ride front seat
Go on adventures with me
Yeah let's go travelling
Turn up the music
You can pick the soundtrack
Wind down the window
Your hair sways with the breeze
Oh lord you're the girl for me
Could you be that girl for me

I've been searching high
I've been searching low
Looking for a girl
I'd like to get to know
Inside out, upside down
Like the back of my hand
I think I've found one I can

The girl is fire
I'm heating up with lust
And I don't even care
If I get burnt
The girl is fire
She's the one
I've just gotta kiss
I have to taste those lips
I've gotta run my hands
Over that body
Hope you know
You're really doing it for me

I think I need a minute
Just let this sink in
Oh lord, I need to feel
Every inch of your skin
Hope you know
I think I'm about to lose control
I'm heating up for you
Hope you're feeling
What I'm feeling too
I really need your loving ooh

I've been searching high
I've been searching low
Looking for a girl
I'd like to get to know
Inside out, upside down
Like the back of my hand
I think I've found one I can

The girl is fire
I'm heating up with lust
And I don't even care
If I get burnt
The girl is fire
She's the one
I've just gotta kiss
I have to taste those lips
I've gotta run my hands
Over that body
Hope you know
You're really doing it for me

©2017 Written By Benji James

Every little seed that has been sown
Every little secret ever told
Be assured and you will know
Is worth its weight in gold

Every time you stare into the sun
Every time you say the words I love
Every time you feel you've had enough
Never ever think of giving up

Every little tinder slice of life
Every little question into why
Look close enough and you will find
Another case of do or die

Every time you think you can't go on
Every time you feel like loosing hope
Every time you're sure you really know
Do you really know

Every little tiny grain of sand
Every little slip of time through hands
Every time that life throws its demands
Just remember that you can

SOMETIMES
I just want silence from you
BECAUSE
My thoughts are loud enough