She was so lost and unsure, so broken, unpure.

Homeless bones in her body, a starving and aching soul

Her eyes so hollow from so much pride and pain forced to swallow

And a smile that just never fit, like an unhappy church wife quietly sitting at the dinner table, regretting everything

Her soul constantly searching through oceans, woods, and mountains

Looking for something, anything to find herself within. A butterfly caught in a jar, a wolf stuck in a cage. So utterly broken in so many ways.

Her spirit crushed but never truly destroyed, her crown bent but never broken. As she continued her search for her home, she knew she'd fine some way. Some peace, some of herself.

All alone.

why do I fall so fastly?

haven't I learned I would save myself

a whole lot of hurt by slowing down?

hopeless romantic I am but gosh ****

this shouldn't be as bad as it is.

tired of the single life, terrified of the
dating life: I just want to feel wanted.

If you ask me how my mind works,

I would have no words to define
No poems that can describe
You would have to step inside

My mind is a maze.
Guided by maps of conversations
Lost between walls of questionmarks

If you ask me how my mind works,

I would invite you in.
But there's no guarantee you'll find your way out.
Bon voyage.

I want to feel your lips pressed up against mine when the only thing on our tongues is alcohol and the only thing we are wearing is skin. To be against you and see you in another light. You may not believe in a certain religion but I could of sworn you were a Christian last night as the word God rolled off your tongue over and over again because you couldn't remember the syllables of my name.

(Bld)

I cannot discover
and I cannot find
the proper words
to express my mind,
all my thoughts
flood out to you
and I wonder if you're
thinking of me too,
an empty page
and pen in hand
this could only be
No mans land.

Here I am again.
Up all night again.
Fueling doubts again.
Daydreaming again.

Googling answers again.
Stalking social media again.
Wishing again.
Thinking again.

Here I am again.
Thinking about him again.
About you again.
Not knowing what to do again.

Maybe I should go to sleep
Instead of laying here, counting sheep
Again.

i'm stuck in traffic
during a rain storm
in the middle of the night 
and i'm subtly reminded 
of when you stopped 
holding my hand 
as much as you used to
the cracks in the windshield
remind me of us
i cross another county line
and i think it's just like you
same place
new name
my veins are power lines
running through this ghost town
i'm so full of electricity 
but no one taps into it
i guess i'm useless
it's been a long time
since i've seen anything special
in the shapes of the clouds 
i don't think hurricanes
know that they destroy so much
maybe that's why you don't know
that i'm in this kind of pain
the cracks in my windshield 
are getting bigger
i think it's going to shatter soon 
could you imagine
the window shattering
and the glass coming at me
as i'm speeding
down this dark and rainy road
i don't have to imagine
i've already met you

[holyoak]

You liked me for what you saw, for what  was skin deep.
You liked the decorative icing on the cake.
You did not know what lay beneath.
Was I dry, moldy or a fake.

You did not know my regrets, the things I've done wrong;
You did not know the secrets that I've kept for so long.
But you were perfect; maybe too perfect for me.
I was not worthy of you but perfect I'd be.

If you just wait for a while and give me some time
I would be perfect but right now I'm not worth a dime.