So Far done
ive crossed my point now
i want to see the red paint flow out of my wrist
i want to seen the tears flow out of my eyes
i want the pain to escape of out my vain
i want to sleep for an enternity
i want to be done
i want to go and see my king
i want to love again
i want my demons to be relsed
im so far done, and nobody cares
im done i crave the pain now
i crave the red paint from before
the hunger is gone and the strangth is too
the happy smile is gone im done
scars will cover my body once again and nobody will ask
because i know im so far done
hell open your gates you have a fallen angel on the way

i havent felt this before
the pain, the thought they take over my head
i never knew this before
i know how she feels now
i never knew before
i dont and tired
my head hurts and i have brusies
my scars the was to be fresh
but i dont want to open them
they are healed
time may heal but memories will never be forgotten

I trusted you and her but you laid my body down
The alcohol it poisoned me with a burden
The mind set of you and her on me
My body it’s ***** my mind is filled
All I can think about is the grossness of it
She cut we tried to protect her
But the alcohol poisoned me
Blood and dark red
A tortures red hands horror
The lies were told the hands the were everywhere
The story will never be heard
The pain will forever be felt
Dark red hands they leave marks I know now
Never will I never know again

your there, i try to be invisable
i cant take it
your there smileing casue you see me
i turn around
you call out my name and laugh
i shiver and turen back around
you smile that smile again
and i walk over
your smile its inviting
i get there and you stick your knife of words in my cheast
i breath, and turn and walk away
i go to the bathroom and cry
its happeing again
i take my pencil and scrtch the surface of scars that had finaaly healed
they crack open
i take my rist band and slide it over
nobody will know
i will live in scilence

The wind blows me around
I’m trapped in the darkness, ****** in to the whole
Deeper and deep I fall
Nobody there to catch me
I see it
The way out
Time freezes but it don’t wait
I cry out, the pain keeps me alive
I lost everything
My fight means nothing
I’m tired but I climb
I’m reaching for the light
I know I won’t find it
The darkness consumes me
Further down I go in to the darkness
I scream, I don’t want to fall
My fight was the only thing I had
I have nothing
Darkness all around me never to be seen
All you hear is the voice of who I used to be
I cry hugging my pillow
Time to let go
All I let go I see the light but it doesn’t matter
Ill fall to see the darkness
As it swallows me whole
It’s my monster
My scars, they trap me
My memory screams out loud
Nobody know I’m consumed with darkness
It traps me within its grasps to never let me go

I hide in the shadows scared and alone
Screaming for someone to let me out
I hear it the rain and thunder "BOOM" ....
"BANG"....
I hide, I wait, the secrets they scar me,
The people they fear me, I am, who I'm not
I hide, my true colors
the gold to never be see
the blue to be hidden
the red to drip
the purple for a past I don't know
black for the darkness I hide in
Green for where I lay
Orenge for the flame burning under me
Yellow, oh yellow the color I least I like,its bright and solid but song and will full
I hide.
I hide my talents for no more scars
I hide my fear so it don't come true
I hide my sorrow for no sympathy
I hide,I hide,I hide

I'm shaking and seeing red
Im blacking out before anything is said
Its the fight I try to hide
The anger that rages in me
The dark mystical clouds in my eyes they swirl till I am shaken
I am enraged I see red and black
Don't know what's happing
I want to fight to relse my anger
But the beast dont want to run it wants to play

Allontanato gettò acqua aperta
Vedo bei colori
Rosso, blu, verde, viola
vedere il maestro del mare
Si scivola da me sapendo im ci
Egli mantiene nuoto
È così bello
i colori
la luce
Io vedo il mare per quello che è

lovely little girl
looking out from under her lashes
big bright world, she doesn't know what to do with it
newly released into the world with little more
than a whisper on her lips, a blessing tucked in the corner of her mouth
and the words that appear in the sand
of the beach she stands upon for the first time
"you will be magnificent"

I run, I jump from roof to roof
The World is my home
A train takes me a float like an oceans wave
I hunt the living
I prey on the week
I seek out the darkness just to crumble again
I run through the ally’s
Travel for I have no home
I am just yet a Rebel
Who hides in the shadows?
I do not
Love, yet I cry
I do not see, yet I know where to go
After all I Am the Rebel Child who hides in the shadows and preys on the week

It seeps through like a stream in the woods
It creeps up to me like a snake readying for its prey
It’s dark but yet intriguing by its power
Its black but gold
It consumes me from the world, taking my thoughts
Taking my mind, play tricks with my eyes
It controls me, darkness
Insanity it is insane
It drips like blood from a cut
It is still like tall grass that the wind doesn’t blow
It is insane
It is dark yet holy, it is a no but then a yes, it is the stars but yet it is space, never focus never telling the difference
Is this Reality or just a Dream or a thought that is too vivid or is this insanity

What evil makes you hurt me so,
What defect of the heart?
What sense there is no greater whole
Of which you are a part?
What lonely choice that only you
Be served by what you choose?
What hard, hard fear of losing what
It is a gift to lose?
I dream sometimes my waiting love
Has made you turn again.
But you care only for yourself,
And I must love in vain.

Good night, bonne nuit
Oyasamina sai, buenos noches,
Lala salama, wan an,
Spokoinyui noche, gute nacht,
Lila tov
Wherever you rest your
Head tonight
We are all one family
Let’s hold tight
and fill the world with
Dreams of Harmony
tonight.
No matter what words we use to say… goodnight…

With such a scare she ran in to the
fight with  such a light
that With this might she will always be Im in to deep
The guarded one walks into the light
For her part in the apothecary fight
No one can stop this might
the guarded one
No one is stronger
No one is a better fight than her
Her angle seeks the death of her
but cant Come know closer
than a foot away  
his love for her will take over  
he will brake
so he  stays in the dark
lingering till she needs his help
once is all she has to call his name
he will come

Im haunted a little this evening by feelings that have no vocabulary and events that should be explained in dimensions of lint rather than words.
Ive been examining half-scraps of my childhood. They are pieces of distant life that have no form or meaning. They are things that just happened like lint.