With every cycle the clock ticks
I escape the world from the back of the room
Through letters shaped as thoughts
Staring at where once was the moon

Seems pretty okay, right?
But you can’t write your sorrows on exams.
I would need the entire alphabet.
But I’m left with four bold letters at my hands

I began writing "I’m sorry" beside my name.
Answering questions with just because
I started leaving pages empty
I truly believed that’s what i’d become

When things came to an end,
I passed, but I failed to get better.
*- At least if i had actually failed, I would have gotten a second chance.

"Every existing thing is born without reason,
prolongs itself out of weakness,
and dies by chance." - Sartre*


What is easier, life or death?
Some people think this is a simple question.
And I'm sure for some it is, a straight cut to one side or the other.

We know so much about human life and so very little about death.
Some would call it an "easy" way out from the constant struggle of existence.
But how many of you here on this world wide web are truly embracing your struggle today?

Are you following "the plan"?
A plan?

Birth, growth, assimilation, "education", indoctrination,
out of the womb and into the classroom,
graduate and start your career,
retire and die.

Isn't everyone proud.

I mean, think of all those soothing, sedating systems
put into place to make your life easier to avoid.

Much like the screen you stare at now.

I've, as they say, "suffered" from depression my entire life,
and as one of those chosen people,
I'd like to debunk the myth.

The loom of death breeds a lust for life
like nothing else I've ever encountered.

You appreciate every little nuance
and at the end of the day
you're grateful.

Unlike so many "happy" people.

But you also know the utter meaninglessness of it all.

And it makes it that much harder to swallow
when everyone doesn't realize the opportunity they have
every single day.

Most are complacent, content as cattle, lined up and waiting
for slaughter.

Until they're looking death in the face
and wondering what the **** they've been doing all this time,
in this line.

But I do not look at those other chosen people who've cut the tie to the physical plane
with judgement, pity, or shame.

Their bravery shines.

Everyone deserves an out, because so often people stay in out of selflessness,
out of attachment and obligations, to friends, to families
but will you deny them forever?

Give them their peace and think of their great example often.

All of life is risk,
you're always on the cusp,
every day could be your last.

Death is the final frontier,
an adventure unknown,
and wanderlust is strong in some.

Truth is the product of the pursuit of knowledge.
Though most people, I have found, do not embrace but fear knowledge.
I believe this to be due to the fact that knowledge is something that cannot be tailored to an individual.

What is, is.
Whether you like it or not.
Knowledge can often be daunting and go against the very foundation of everything you hold "true".

But truth is not there to keep you complacent, it's there to drive you, it's what you should live for.
The pursuit of knowledge is an ongoing process, constantly evolving.

One day you can feel without a shadow of a doubt that you "know" something,
and the next day be proven utterly wrong.

This is why it confuses me so that people hold steadfast to antiquated "truths",
catalogued by humans, and passed down through generations.

Like high school gossip, slipping from one grimy hand into the next,
riddled with the stains of ignorance and manipulation.

Knowledge can often isolate.
Spark hatred in those comfortably numb.

But those on the pursuit are not to be feared or confined,
they're to be celebrated and joined!

Because truth is freedom, and it will only unify.

Don't give up, don't give in.

I am the book that’s already been read & put on the shelf.
I am the first generation of ipod.
I am the broken guitar string.
I am the car that won’t start.

I am the kid sitting alone downtown at 3am.
I am the 300 year old clock that just broke again.
I am the song that finishes too soon.
Today, tomorrow; I am invisible.

I’m not sure if this should be an apology letter.
I just figure for once, I might be able to make things better.
Me; is just something you should never ask me to define.

Photography last
Need you to be here
But your not
You’re working
Having a good time
While I’m here in school
Stuck in boredom
I need you to be here
To be my photography model
But you’re not
Well…
****

please keep it safe. safe where no one else could have it. I kept it this long just only for you. hold it don't let go. don't break it, no don't return it to me just keep it I'll be needing my heart again one day.