walking in a dark forest
Leaves crunch beneath my boots
the only sounds come from snapped twigs and fidgeting bodies
Along the tree line are staring eyes
People shifting occaisionly, not speaking
Just staring
They don’t break eye contact
Not once
I keep walking, holding myself tightly
Walking towards a light, but every step I take,
the more the staring gets to me
I try to ignore but then the whispering starts
And suddenly I’m getting chills
their eyes are cutting into me
Now I’m running
Crunching leaf sounds are behind me
As the whispering becomes defeaning
Covering, covering my ears
tears mix with grime
Breathing heavy
sprinting away from the whispers
Finding myself on smooth pavement
Heart beating rapidly but the whispers have stopped
Collapse onto the ground
in a pile of tears
But the stares are still there
just at the edge of the woods
Watching, emotionless.

Hear me scream
The walls listen with curious ears
One by one, my thoughts flow into the stream
For years that stream has killed me with fears

Overcrowded, the thoughts clash together, like waves
Roars, deafen the ears, as the thoughts seem to find speakers
They foresee the days where the only thing to do is to dig the graves
They become such harsh beaters

Creeping into my eyes, burning memories make themselves known
Tearing me apart, muscle by muscle, sense by sense
Raise a shaky hand to my face, touch bone
Feel the stream verge on hurricane, every muscle tense

One single tear falls from the hollow bone where eyes once resided
A flurry of thoughts, burning memories, rush to the surface
Scream out in terror as my body, and mind divided
Feelings ripple, and washes away my only purpose

I am worthless

A man drifts near in a cloak.
All black, ghastly looking.
Move closer to the man.

Who is he? Who is he? Who is he?

Reach up to his hood.
Pull down.
Nothing but a pitch black void resides where his head should be.

Who is he? Who is he? Who is he?

Reach into the void.
Swarms of fear, sadness, and anger engulfs the mind.
Screams, matched with whispers flood the ears.
The internal voice drowns, and dies in the midst of the noise.
Pull the hand out.
Cold, grey, silence strikes.
Unnerving silence in the absence of the chaos.
The void drifts away.

Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?

Wrists
Childish wrists
Soft and white
Aside from a few lines

Wrists
Scarred and rough
Raised along different points of the wrist
Hundreds of lines on this one
Old lines

Wrists
Bruises from a tight grip
Soft little lines
Not noticeable to anyone
but the wrist

Wrists
Teary wrists
Cried into often
Soft and pale

Wrists
Everywhere
On everyone
Yet no one notices
The little signs

The stars shine bright

as the moon emits light

It's all prettier than I write




I write about depression

My obsessions

and my daily confessions




It's easier to write

than to fight

most of the time




I write by candlelight

or so I wish

I instead write by a LED light

The one I bought on wish

but that's not the important bit




The sun & the moon

will always upstage

this fool

after all,

they're too

**** beautiful

I cried out beautiful anxiety
It’s a pity you heard
You took me in
I might be more trouble than I’m worth
You saw the monsters in me
You looked past it
You saw the dimmed light
And sought to make it shine