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 Aug 2017 Taylor Kennerly
you said that
you love it when it rains.
little did you know that
it rains
whenever i shed a tear.
maybe that's why
you seem happy
even if i'm hurt;
you enjoy
whenever i cry.
and i'll always end up
exchanging your sorrow
for my euphoria,
in hopes of you
loving the rain—
me, my tears, and my pain.
To know the depths of joy
You must go the length of sorrow

To see the sun rise
You must get up in the night

Moving forward
And moving on

When all of life
Feels completely gone

Is the only way
To truly see

Who it is
We are meant to be.
I actually really like it is, and it really comes from a cool place for me, like its weird to say this means a lot to me cuz I wrote it and that sounds so arrogant and its not cuz I think its good it just really speaks to me.
Oh also this isn't a quote from Ecclesiastes it's inspired by the verse
There's a riddle-shaped hole
Cutting deep in my heart
but I gave up in it
Long ago
I swore I had
Accepted defeat
But every now and then
I'll catch myself
Digging at
The riddle-shaped hole
You left
So long ago
A woman's life is full of men.
They each see her as a prize.

A thing to touch and maybe hold.
Not intelligent. Not wise.

I am an object to you.
Walking ******* and skin.

You only think of what to say.
In the chance I might let you in.

My thoughts are deep
and my emotions pure
I have no time for boy games anymore.

My heart is full of pent up rage
Because I am an object to you.
Can't you see that the truth is...

You are an object to me too.
Sometimes, change is easy
It feels like trying on a new pair of shoes from a favorite department store
If the change feels good and fits, you move forward
You wear change like a badge of honor, a personal achievement
Then, feeling accomplished and joyful, with your chin raised a little higher, you let change enrich your spirit, a necessary transfusion to the soul

Sometimes, change is ugly
It feels like sticking bare feet into a thick  mud and wondering why there is resistance
You swing wildly at the fear, as if there was actually someone there
The possibility of change turns you into the victim and the aggressor, fighting tooth and nail to protect the now
Then, spent and weary, when your defenses are low, you let change break through, like water overflowing a dam
I didn't see the forecast
The one that predicted my blank slate
I thought it would look different
I thought it would follow a life filled with family, children, memories
I woke up one morning
An empty space in the bed
A calendar free of appointments
An unexpected ache in my soul
A blank slate
I watched the sun rise
Bringing light to my past mistakes
Nothing to hide behind
My soul open for onlookers
I ******* shame
And I pray for nightfall
When is it the right time
To open the closet door
To look in on a journey paused
To risk the truth and find
Boxes taped up with angry haste
Adventures stifled within four walls

When is the right time
To sit with the papers, the moments, the times
To make the decisions
To be brave in the face of pain and find
Cherished moments stuffed haphazardly away
Flashes of beauty smothered by a storm

When is the right time
To laugh, to cry, to hate, to mourn
To acknowledge the truth
To risk the unpredictable path that leads to
A heart ready, open for healing
And a closet - with room for someone else
Such a beautiful light in the darkness
My sun on the days as life
Applied gravity to my heart
Constantly thrusted with pain which I ignored from the start
Focusing on you and your smile maybe it'll get me through the night and creatures of the dark
Repeated battles of depression
With you they're  normal and seem right
So many hidden battles we Each faced
Returning more scars each day
But we never really speak of them
Life has rather been sink or swim
If I die I'd rather do it drowning in your love
Instead of the broken child in me fighting for what I was
I was told every angel has their darkest secrets
But beauty in her hearts will always shed away her war with those demons
A memory never forgotten a picture forever in motion
a love that's unspoken but repeatedly implied
But you'd prefer me to say it
A love and the perfect novel unfinished
Battles of opinions
forever be my breathe of relief even my last exhale
Forever be my dream unfinished
Words may sound nice but they do not come close to the manifestation of love and adoration I have for you , your body , your soul, your mind, this is not just that this is respect for your grind, envisioning your potential , clearly seeing the authenticity in your worth this is not your run of the mill type of temporary thing this is a now and til death do me part kinda thing this is that I'd risk my life give you the essence of myself in which that makes me breathe because you would relentlessly do the same and just cause that's what I identify and define this as you may look at me like I'm just this great thing that you may not deserve well I have news for you do. You deserve every bit of it... I. Welcome the thought of you and your imperfections you want to truly know why because if I can not accept them then I am less of a man in my own eyes  and I am not a mirror of perfection I stumbled and stagger I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders everyday yet I still have the strength and room for more because the lord blessed me with strength and eyes to see who
You truly can be with or without me
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