To know the depths of joy
You must go the length of sorrow

To see the sun rise
You must get up in the night

Moving forward
And moving on

When all of life
Feels completely gone

Is the only way
To truly see

Who it is
We are meant to be.

I actually really like it is, and it really comes from a cool place for me, like its weird to say this means a lot to me cuz I wrote it and that sounds so arrogant and its not cuz I think its good it just really speaks to me.
Oh also this isn't a quote from Ecclesiastes it's inspired by the verse

A woman's life is full of men.
They each see her as a prize.

A thing to touch and maybe hold.
Not intelligent. Not wise.

I am an object to you.
Walking breasts and skin.

You only think of what to say.
In the chance I might let you in.

My thoughts are deep
and my emotions pure
I have no time for boy games anymore.

My heart is full of pent up rage
Because I am an object to you.
Can't you see that the truth is...

You are an object to me too.

I choose you
Despite your flaws
And harsh words written on your back
I choose you
There will never be
an indiscretion I will
not face by your side
Because I choose you
Through every broken promise
And every broken dream
I choose you
When you choose the ones
who cannot love
but can always receive it
I will choose you
To face each dawning day
And prayerful night
I choose you
To love and cherish
To break and build
I choose you
I choose you
I choose you.

A love note.

Aug 19. 2017

Sometimes, change is easy
It feels like trying on a new pair of shoes from a favorite department store
If the change feels good and fits, you move forward
You wear change like a badge of honor, a personal achievement
Then, feeling accomplished and joyful, with your chin raised a little higher, you let change enrich your spirit, a necessary transfusion to the soul

Sometimes, change is ugly
It feels like sticking bare feet into a thick  mud and wondering why there is resistance
You swing wildly at the fear, as if there was actually someone there
The possibility of change turns you into the victim and the aggressor, fighting tooth and nail to protect the now
Then, spent and weary, when your defenses are low, you let change break through, like water overflowing a dam

I didn't see the forecast
The one that predicted my blank slate
I thought it would look different
I thought it would follow a life filled with family, children, memories
I woke up one morning
An empty space in the bed
A calendar free of appointments
An unexpected ache in my soul
A blank slate

When is it the right time
To open the closet door
To look in on a journey paused
To risk the truth and find
Boxes taped up with angry haste
Adventures stifled within four walls

When is the right time
To sit with the papers, the moments, the times
To make the decisions
To be brave in the face of pain and find
Cherished moments stuffed haphazardly away
Flashes of beauty smothered by a storm

When is the right time
To laugh, to cry, to hate, to mourn
To acknowledge the truth
To risk the unpredictable path that leads to
A heart ready, open for healing
And a closet - with room for someone else

Shall I turn a blind eye?
Take every misdemeanor and
assume responsibility
Against my being
Break my pride in half
To make room
For the infidelities against my faith?
Maybe I'm naive
To believe the universe
Could conspire in my favor
Just this one time
I place my hands
Bruised and bloody
Against a book of religion
In preparation for the trial
Who is the accused?
Maybe I am
Maybe I should take the stand anyway
I am not guilty
I am not innocent
There will never be justice

Aug 17. 2017
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