I come from a dark place
But please, do not throw that in my face
I have made my share of mistakes,
And some are unforgivable, some are a disgrace
But that is not who i am anymore
For i have grown, i have changed
I don’t aim for highs, i aim for lows
I aim for happiness, and love
Not things that can harm me, **** me, or hurt me
I have seen the light, i have been set free
For i am an addict, but i am recovering
For my past is not my future
And my future is not my past
These feelings i have, are sure to last
Because i am me, i am myself
I am free, i am alive, i am no longer dead
The demons, they have left, they have left my head
The voices will always be there,
But that’s fine, i don’t care
I’ve proven people can change, people can grow
I come from a dark place
And that’s all anyone needs to know.


Stephanie Davis
10/30/2020

I have many hopes and I have many dreams
What I don’t have a lot of, is time, or so it seems
Every day, I try so hard to complete my goals
To achieve my long term dreams
But it’s time, that I fail to gain, or so it seems
There are things I want to complete in life
Before I am gone, before I have gone away
I tackle my dreams day by day
But I feel like I am getting nowhere
Will it happen today? Will it happen tomorrow?
Will it happen anytime, anywhere?
All my hopes, all my dreams
Are they slipping? Are they growing?
Am I going to succeed? Or am I already failing?
I have many hopes and I have many dreams
What I don’t have a lot of, is time, or so it seems…
When will I get the chance to be someone?
When will I get the chance to be something?
Are my hopes and dreams worth nothing?
Or am I hoping too much? Am I dreaming too much?
Is there even anything that can be known as such?
I have many hopes and I have many dreams
What I don’t have a lot of, is time, or so it seems…
So it seems.. Time is of virtue, so I shall begin soon..
Before it becomes another wasteless memory
Before it becomes another lost dream
Another lost hope, before it becomes anything less important
My hopes and my dreams, are what I thrive for
Are what I live for, I’ll give all my devotion
If I can just get my foot through that first door..
I’ll gain time, I’ll gain hope, I’ll gain more dreams
But right now, time is what I don’t have a lot of, or so it seems.


Stephanie Davis
10/23/20

I didn’t know how much I would need you
I didn’t know how much I would miss you
I didn’t know how much anything would ever make sense again
But here I sit, alone, at a table with tears rolling down my face
Remembering…. Remembering everything
Remembering the days we spent together
Remembering the nights I’d sit up alone
To wake up every single day, and these memories go to the unknown
I can feel you all around me, no matter the weather
I remember you, I remember us, I remember everything
I didn’t know that I would grow up and still need you
I didn’t know that I would grow up and still miss you
I didn’t know that I would grow up and still nothing would make sense
You gave me life, you gave me memories, you gave me your warm embrace
I hope when you left you found peace and you found grace
As I sit here and write this poem, if you’d call it that
The tears flow silently down my face.. The face that you once held in your hands
The face that you once gave strict demands
The face that longs for you every day since you’ve been gone
I’m still sitting here, remembering, remembering everything
Remembering the days we spent together
Remembering the nights we’d talk together
Remembering the childhood you helped make pure
Remembering the woman who you wanted me to be
I think it’s time, that I tell myself it’s okay, to set you free
This is NOT goodbye, but until we see each other again.
I love you, forever and always, gone, but never forgotten.


Stephanie Davis
10/23/20

Sometimes what we want isn’t what we need
And sometimes, what we need isn’t what we want
Sometimes, when we fail, we truly succeed
And sometimes, when we succeed, we are truly failing
Life is all or nothing but a mystery
And sometimes, living, doesn’t come freely
Sometimes, there are problems
And sometimes, there are solutions
But there is never a day
That can go without either….
For life has its ups and downs
And it's up to us, to fix our crowns
Sometimes, life isn’t what we want to do
And sometimes, life is all we have to get through
Sometimes, the world can be cruel
But sometimes, the world can be unglued
For life itself, needs help along the way
And because sometimes, it’s never a good time to walk away
So just remember, sometimes what we want, isn’t what we need
And sometimes what we need, isn't want we want

Stephanie Davis
10/23/20

You slapped me in the face
All because I was there at the wrong time
I was there, at the wrong place
You kicked me while I was down
All because I was younger and naive
You told me lies, only because you know I’d believe
Everything and anything you’d ever say to me
You pushed me while I wasn’t looking
All because you couldn’t stand to see me cry
You’re the reason I wanted to die
But things have changed and now I’m grown
I can handle things on my own
Being without you or around you
Has made me open my eyes
To a world full of love, and no more lies
No more hurt, no more pain
You can no longer throw shade at my name
You never cared, you never shared
You just wanted another piece to your abusive game
I don’t stand for bullying, or abuse
So let these words help you, become a better you
If you don’t try to change, then what’s the use
You’ll forever be a bully,
and I'll forever be a survivor.


Stephanie Davis
10/17/20

I’d be lost without you in my life
I’d be lost without you as my wife
I’d be lost without you in my world
I’d be lost without my forever girl
I’d be lost without your shining smile
I’d be lost with myself for a little while
I’d be lost without you here with me
I’d be lost without you loving me freely
I’d be lost without you endlessly
So please, don’t ever leave me
Because without you, I am not me
Without you, I am nothing
But with you, I am something
For you and I are one in the same
Someday soon we will have the same last name
We are two hearts beating as one
With a love, that can never be undone

Stephanie Davis
10/17/20

Being a diabetic
Comes with less treats and more tricks
Being a diabetic
Comes with many highs, and many lows
Being a diabetic
Comes with little catches, and so many blows
Being a diabetic
Has its ups and downs
Being a diabetic
Comes with problems from all around
Being a diabetic
Comes with lots of disabilities
Being a diabetic
Comes with the lack of your abilities
Being a diabetic
Comes with lots of responsibilities
Being a diabetic
Messes with your heart
Being a diabetic
May literally tear you apart
Being a diabetic
Comes with many hopes
Being a diabetic
Comes with a lot of false hope
There is no cure
There is no fixing
But those who are a diabetic
Can conquer the way of living
We can survive by fighting
We can live long lives
As soon as we find the silver lining
As long as the sun is shining
Our smiles can keep on flying

I am a type 1 diabetic and I know the struggle. If anyone reads this and needs a friend to talk to, I’m here.


Stephanie Davis
10/15/20

We’re fighting right beside you
You are never alone
No matter how near, no matter how far
We are always going to be there
In your heart, in your mind, in your soul
Fighting this with you is our forever goal

We can’t find the words to say
Because we never imagined the day
Where we would have to express our self
Express our self in terms of acceptance
Express our self in terms of fearfulness
But for you, our mother, we strongly say, God bless

You’re going through a rough time and we want to make it clear
You are worth it, We are worth it, and surviving is worth it
You are never alone, although you may feel like it
You are never lonely, although you may think it
You are important, loved, and we need you here

We’re fighting right beside you
You are never alone
No matter how near, no matter how far
We are always going to be there
In your heart, in your mind, in your soul
Fighting this with you is our forever goal

You may feel like giving up,
You may question if it's worth it, but it is
Trust us, you gave us life
We give you hope, we give you strength
Please don’t give up, you are our mother
And we will never get another
We love you with all our hearts
And if you give up, our worlds will be torn apart

I hate what it is you do to me
You got some kind of grip on me
Every time i try to leave
I turn around and walk right back
Something tugs, something pulls me back to you
My heart breaks, then it heals just to rebreak
If i leave is that the right choice
What do i do? What do i say?
You got the power over me and i’m so in love
In love with you, physically, emotionally, mentally, soulfully
So in love with you i hope nothing breaks us apart
So in love with you i hope nothing tears us apart
I hope this and i hope that
But baby you’re the only one who can keep us safe
So don’t push me away baby,
i need you just as much as you need me
This life we’ve created has memories
It has bad times, good times, in between times,
And I wouldn’t trade it for anything
My pain, my laughter, my tears, my smiles,
Is everything you manage to bring
I loved you then, i love you now,
I’ll love you until the end of time
I love you with all my heart,
To the moon and back
Infinity and beyond
Forever and always
I hate what it is you do to me
You got some kind of grip on me
Every time i try to leave
I turn around and walk right back
Something tugs, something pulls me back to you
Something tugs….. And something pulls me back to you

My pain is my pain
You can’t take away my pain
My pain is a pain that shouldn’t be shared
It’s a pain that’ll leave you scarred
Lonely, alone, and scared
Doors locked, windows barred
4 walls closing in, 4 walls fading out
This pain is a pain I can’t handle
Starting from one thing to another
It’s always a consistent all around or just about
This pain is pain that goes to your head
If you’re not careful, the demons, the voices
They will leave you silently dead
Its my life, its my pain, but it's not my choices
I was born this way, no one can fix me
No one can help me, this pain is my pain
It will never go away
No matter what the doctors do or say
The tears suddenly stop because I’m slowly fading away
Is there time? Is there faith? Is there anything to take away this pain
Probably not, so i’ll remind you one last time
My pain is my pain
You can’t take away my pain
Don’t you try to take away my pain
You don’t understand
But that’s what i’m trying to do
Is get you to understand
That you can’t take away my pain
My pain is my pain

I’m sick and tired of being told to stay positive
I’m sick and tired of being told to think positive
When the outcome is so very obvious
My body is rejecting me, my body is fighting me
My body is my temple, yet its abusing me
No body can see what i feel
No body can feel what i see
My body is supposed to be my body
But my body has become a stranger to me
Because of my body i cant live freely
Because of my body I cant sleep peacefully
Because of my body, i might end up as a photo gallery
Because of my body will anyone remember me

Will anyone remember all the times i’ve cried
Will anyone remember how hard i tried
To be the strong person, to be the positive one
When everything is said and done
Will anyone remember me, or what my body has become
Will anyone remember me, or the person i tried to become?
Will anyone remember all the pain i kept inside
Or remember how alone and dead i felt along the ride
Will anyone be there to pray for me,
As one day i hope this battle is one i can win
My time on earth hasn’t been so fair,
I’m still young, I want a chance to repair
To Repair my broken heart,
To Repair my broken mind
To Repair my broken family
To Repair everything that’s ever gotten in my way
To repair my body so i dont get thrown away
Because of my body will anyone remember me

I’m sick and tired of being told to stay positive
I’m sick and tired of being told to think positive
When the outcome is so very obvious
My body is rejecting me, my body is fighting me
My body is my temple, yet its abusing me
No body can see what i feel
No body can feel what i see
My body is supposed to be my body
But my body has become a stranger to me
Because of my body i cant live freely
Because of my body I cant sleep peacefully
Because of my body, i might end up as a photo gallery
Because of my body will anyone remember me

Will anyone remember all the times i lied
When being asked if i'm okay and i’d say yeah i’m fine
Ive become good at hiding my emotions
Because my body is no longer mine
I’m torn between many explosions
Would i be strong enough to fight
Or would i need an enhancer
Because of my body hating me
I’m afraid one day i’ll die lonely
Not because i’m not surrounded by people i love
Or by people who love me
But because my body is my temple
And right now, it’s abusing me

God takes those he needs
But what about us and our needs?
What about us who are left behind
Trusting that time will heal our hearts and minds
What about us, who are left to survive
What about us who has lost all motivation to thrive
What about us, the ones who are still alive
But the ones who feel nothing at all but death
The ones who are silently suffering
Slowly withering, our lives on hold like we’re buffering
God gives just so he can take
But what about us? Don’t we deserve a break
A year full of trauma, drama, and death
A year full of lies, trouble, and shortened breaths
What about us? What about the other ones he created
How can he keep us here feeling so defeated
Feeling so… lost, confused and belittled
When do we get to go home?
When do we get to stop hurting
So what about us?
The ones who want to live, but can’t
The ones who deserve a better life but it seems so distant
The ones that become drug addicts, or obliterated to the world
The ones he created, but never offered his hand
The ones he leaves here on earth
But I’ve always been told, God takes those he needs
But what about us and our needs?

People are dying every single day
Yet, we just sit around
Frozen, with nothing to say
Voiceless, Pushing them into the ground
But not anymore
We have voices and they are ready to roar
It's time we speak up
It's time we shout out
To take the risk and throw the drugs out
It's time to give people something else to think about

What is wrong with the world today
The good times seem to have faded away
Yesterday is gone, Today is now, and Tomorrow isn't always promised, (It's never promised)
When did our world become so demolished?

People are losing their lives
To something far worse, than guns and knives
Because they are consuming the Devil
and Not knowing that they will never reach his level
It's time to get rid of the bad
and replace it with good
It's time to give them the life they wish they had
The life they dreamed they had
The life they never had

So, what is wrong with the world today?
Have the good times really faded away?
Yesterday is gone, it's never coming back
Today is now, it's time to get our lives on track
Because Tomorrow isn't always promised, (It's never promised)

It's time for no more mental wards
It's time for no more prison wards
It's time to start living by going forward
And to stop dying by going backwards

The time is now, The time has come
To banish the drugs, and to mourn the deaths
People deserve to take deep breaths
People deserve a better outcome
Us, As people deserve to live
People deserve to believe
It's time to forgive
It's time for the drugs to leave

It's time, The time is NOW!

What is wrong with the world today
The good times seem to have faded away
Yesterday is gone, Today is now, and Tomorrow isn't always promised, (it's never promised)
So, when did our world become so demolished?

Stephanie Davis
12/6/19

do you know what it's like?
to feel lonely, but not be alone
do you know what it's like?
the want to be around people
but the need to be on your own
do you know what it's like?
to want to receive love
but the need to give hate
do you know what it's like?
to want happiness
but also enjoy the sadness
do you know? do you really know?
it's not easy being happy
then 10 seconds later be sad
it's easy to accept sadness
but hard to accept happiness
it's easier to spread hate
than it is easy to spread love
I don't really want to be on my own
but I can't handle being surrounded
I can't say I'm alone
it's just easier to feel lonely


Stephanie Davis
2/11/2019

When the sun fades away
and the day turns into night
That's when I'll think of you
When the sky is dark
And the moon is bright
I'll know it's you and
That's when I'll think of you

You were my strength
You were my inspiration
I'll never forget the day you saved my life
By showing me how to love without hesitation
You were always there for me
Whenever I felt alone
The way you would hold me
And comfort me with your soothing voice tone

When the rain drops fall
And there's no one beside me
That's when I'll think of you
When the snow covers the ground
And there's no one to guide me
That's when I'll think of you

Through out the years
You've given me laughter
You've given me tears
Through out my life you've given me hope
To go and start a new chapter
Always giving me love and support
By being my hero and taking away all my fears

So, whenever I'm missing you
I'll sit in the sun
I'll look up to the sky
If the moon is bright
I'll know it's you
And that's when I'll be thinking of you
I'll stand in the rain
I'll walk in the snow
You'll forever be in my heart
And I'll always be thinking of you

Every night I lay in bed crying
Because I can feel my body slowly dying
I want to surrender
I want to live a new adventure
Please God take me home
I'll accept my defeat
This pain that was  given to me
Is making it almost impossible to stand on my own two feet
This pain is so intense
It's literally demanding
The want and need for a cure
Is almost intimidating
This pain I'm talking about
Starts from the top of my head
Working it's way through my body
Until it finally reaches my toes
The extent of misery I feel everyday
Is something that nobody knows
Because I put a fake smile on my face
And try my hardest to survive another day

Every night I lay in bed crying
Because I can feel my body slowly dying
I want to surrender
I want to live a new adventure
Please God take me home
I'll accept my defeat
This pain that was  given to me
Is making it almost impossible to stand on my own two feet
This pain is so intense
It's literally demanding
The want and need for a cure
Is almost intimidating
This pain I'm talking about
Starts from the top of my head
Working it's way through my body
Until it finally reaches my toes
The extent of misery I feel everyday
Is something that nobody knows
Because I put a fake smile on my face
And try my hardest to survive another day

When the sun fades away
and the day turns into night
That's when I'll think of you
When the sky is dark
And the moon is bright
I'll know it's you and
That's when I'll think of you

You were my strength
You were my inspiration
I'll never forget the day you saved my life
By showing me how to love without hesitation
You were always there for me
Whenever I felt alone
The way you would hold me
And comfort me with your soothing voice tone

When the rain drops fall
And there's no one beside me
That's when I'll think of you
When the snow covers the ground
And there's no one to guide me
That's when I'll think of you

Through out the years
You've given me laughter
You've given me tears
Through out my life you've given me hope
To go and start a new chapter
Always giving me love and support
By being my hero and taking away all my fears

So, whenever I'm missing you
I'll sit in the sun
I'll look up to the sky
If the moon is bright
I'll know it's you
And that's when I'll be thinking of you
I'll stand in the rain
I'll walk in the snow
You'll forever be in my heart
And I'll always be thinking of you

She hides her pain
Behind a smile
Because she knows
The pain will last
More than a little while

She hides her pain
Behind a mask
Because she knows
What people will ask

They'll ask her
"Are you okay?"
She'll say "I'm fine"
Turn, and walk away

The less she has to tell
The less her heart can yell
She wants to be free
But no one will let her be

They keep asking her
"Are you okay?"
She says "I'm fine"
But inside all she wants
Is the pain to go away

She doesn't know
If she'll be around
To see that day

So she hides her pain
Behind a smile
Because she knows
The pain will last
More than a little while


Stephanie Davis
3/3/2018

If I could see you in my dreams
I'd tell you how it is
I'd tell you how it was
I'd tell you how it was supposed to be
But that'll never happen
Because before I get to see you
I wake up and have to face reality
The reality of you leaving me
The reality of never seeing you again
I wasn't ready for you to leave
But I got the news and I refused to believe
I needed you to stay
But God needed you home
So he came and took you away
Now I sit here all alone
When I miss you, I can't just pick up the phone
I'd do anything just to hear your voice
But God took you and I don't feel it was by choice
When I want to see your face
I go through the pictures in my memories
I close my eyes and I'm taken to a place
Where time and everything is frozen in space
My memories are what keep me going
My memories no one can take from me
The answer why God took you home
Is an answer that'll never be known
I just wanted to let you know
I think of you when it's raining
I think of you when the suns shining
I'm sorry I wasn't there when you had to go
I'm sorry about the painful timing
I'll always remember you though
You're my family and that's how it goes
The amount of mourning no one knows
I still need you to this day
But there's nothing more I can say
Yeah my life's been torn apart
But you'll forever stay in my heart
I know we'll be together again someday soon
And when that happens
We'll pick up where we left off
As we both sit up on the moon


Stephanie Davis 11/14/17

Your yesterday's are my today's
My today's are your tomorrows
The sun continues to rise
But my darkness forever stays

My hellos are your goodbyes
Your goodbyes are my failed tries
The sun continues to rise
But my darkness forever stays

Your words are my pains
My pains are all your lies
The sun continues to rise
But my darkness forever stays

I can forgive, but I can't forget
I love you,  and I hate you
Two strong words, both I regret
There's nothing more I can do

The sun continues to rise
But my darkness forever stays

Someone once told me
To never lose hope
I learned life's too short
To sit around and mope

I have a lot of problems
But I'm still young
I have plenty of time
To make a right from a wrong

I'm the one who can fix me
I'm the one who can also break me
But as long as I have hope
I have no reason to sit around and mope

Never felt so much sorrow
Before my heart became hollow
Said you'd always be here
Then one day you weren't there

Where did you go?
How come I didn't know?
You left me, you left us
You shattered my trust

It's been quite some years
I lost count through my tears
Everything you've ever told me
I had always believed

But it was never the truth
It turned out to be all lies
Now every time I think of you
A piece of my heart slowly dies

It was never about me
But always about you
I grew up without you
That's what I'll continue to do

Just remember one thing
It's not me who's to blame
I never wanted to be
Part of your selfish game

I don't know why I can't get over you, Even after everything you've put me through, I still love you, I'm alive but you make me feel so dead, you ignore me and it goes to my head, I've called your house, your cell, I've even tried messaging you on Facebook, but for reasons I don't know, you're like a fish that I just can't hook, you left my life and came back, only for a little while then you'd leave again and it'd feel like I was having a heart attack, I've spent years crying over you, wondering what it was that I did to you, how could you hate me, but I still love you?, I think part of the reason I hang on to you is because I know you, I dont think having me was the accident, I think knowing you is the real tradgity, you're nothing but a ***** donor, now I know why I was always a loner, but not anymore, I'm done fighting myself over you, this spot in my heart for you is finally frozen, saying goodbye to you is the choice I've finally chosen. If something ever happens to you, just know that I love you, but I wouldn't want to know, because I wouldn't want to ask myself, if losing you would be a grief, or if losing you would be a relief

What do you say
When the person you love
Turns and walks away

What do you do
When the person you love
No longer loves you

What do you think
When the person you love
Is gone within a blink

How do you eat
When the person you love
Was your heartbeat

How do you sleep
When the person you love
You can no longer keep

How can you not cry
When the person you love
Leaves and says goodbye

You were my yesterday
You were my today
You were my tomorrow
You were my everyday

This is how my story goes
Ever since you went away
My pain no body knows
My words explain what I can't say

I've become completely lost
I may never be found
The day you left
My life turned around

One day you're here
The next day you're gone
I need you more now
Than I ever did before

You were my everything
Now all I can do is cry
Because without you I'm nothing
I never even got to say goodbye

Until we meet again
My words will forever fly
They'll travel every now and then
Until they reach you in the sky

You were my yesterday
You were my today
You were my tomorrow
You were my everyday