A line of vases
the wind blows against
knocking them over,
but only a few left broken

Some picked back up,
others left with just a scratch
but i'm part of the batch
that shattered.

Built back up,
glued together,
you can't erase the damage done by this weather,
leaving me unwanted forever

Left there all alone
to be knocked over
or thrown
until i've shattered once more
so you just leave me on the floor

because i'm
too far gone,
yes, you made me
too far gone
and now no one will piece me back together.

breath,
    in and out,
    over and over.

2. get up,
    every morning,
    do your best.

3. eat,
    try,
    it’s okay if you can’t.

4. brush your teeth,
    back and forth,
    keep it up.

5. brush your hair,
    daily,
    you can do this.

6. go to school,
    dont shut down,
    interact.

7. come home,
    you’re  close,
    make it through.

8. breath,
    but I can’t.

The pain
has faded.
I don’t need it to end.
I can see the light at the end of the tunnel,
at least a little.
I can see the optimism in
life.
I can see Everything,
and I thought that was enough
but maybe it's too much

because nothing’s going to change the fact
that I see myself as a walking dead girl.

I can now bare the pain
in my head.
But the pain is still there.
I’m still in the tunnel.
And even though I’m doing better,
I don’t think that it’s
Enough.

If I once was supposed to
**** myself
then maybe
I wasn’t supposed to
live.

The pain
has faded.
I don’t need it to end.
I’m happy,
at least a little.
I’m fine

But nothing’s going to change the fact
that I see myself as a walking dead girl.

Where are you?
Hello!?!!
Hello?!
hello?

you’re gone
because you thought I wanted you gone
but I didn’t want you gone
yes I said I wanted you gone
but you weren’t supposed to listen.

when I said that I was sure
I wasn’t really sure
I just needed you to fight,
to put up a fight for me
but you didn’t.

I think you cared a little
but you didn’t care a lot
and a little just wasn’t enough.

enough enough
why am I
not enough
for you to insist to stay?

enough enough
enough enough
I really have
had enough.

if only you were here
you could’ve given me
enough
enough for me to be.

I need you in the moment
when I tell my friends I want to die
and they don’t even care
let alone even notice that I’m there

I need you in the moment
when I cry in the middle of the night
and I don’t remember why
let alone why it hurts so much

I need you in the moment
when I take the little courage that I have
and stand up, only for them to dismiss me
let alone change

I need you in the moment
when I show my cuts on display to the world
and the only thing anyone gives is judgement
let alone SAVE ME

I need you in the moment
when everyone else survives
and leaves you to rot in the darkness
let alone comfort me

I need you in the moment
when I realize I’m manipulative
and that this is all my fault
because I’m the problem
in my life
that sabotages my every move
and needs to LEAVE

Because I need you
in that moment
that you’re not there
because you were never anywhere
Let alone here

They say I’m
               “Just some girl”
         but they don’t know me

   They don’t know
                               what I stand for
   They don’t know
                       what I’ve been through

   They don’t know who I am.
   They don’t know anything about me
                      but neither do I.

   Maybe I am “Just some girl”

   Just some OUTSIDER girl
   Just some ASIAN girl
   Just some PRIVILEGED girl
   Just some ANNOYING girl
    
                       I AM JUST SOME GIRL

   Just some girl who CRIED IN CLASS
   Just some girl who NEVER TALKS
   Just some girl who NO ONE KNOWS
    
Just some girl that killed herself last night and leaves you wondering,
                                 maybe she wasn’t
                                  JUST SOME GIRL