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I hope you can forgive me.
I was never meant to be the man you met.
I was a kind child turned into a monster.
Who had to shed his skin.

The guilt of having a future with you paralyzed me.
I was never deserving of someone so kind.
My betrayal and our inexperience ruined the relationship.
But only I have to suffer being alone.

If you don't think of me anymore.
Then you will never hear from me again.
But know you have bewitched me mind, body and soul.
And my love for you will always be there.

Maybe I just wasn't even that much in your mind.
Or maybe the abuse made me too duplicitous and bipolar to remember.
And though these poems may come across as two faced.
They all tell the same story.

I believe this will be the last.
"She might come back."
"She might see these poems and think of you."
"She might unblock you on facebook."
"She might send you a message on hello poetry."

These are the words I sometimes hear and tell myself in my head.

But the love of my life left for another guy.
My hatred has evaporated into exhaustion.

I am a very tired man.
Ready to watch the world spin until my life expires.  
That's where our story ends.
The story of you and me.

The sharp serrated words that hack away my hope.
My empty eyes glowering at this memory.
And I take a drag, breathing out love and loss.
All the while dressed in detachment.
Blue streaks shew across the sky.
Manic days and semper fi.
Red dawn smashes out the sea.
Honor is all I claim to be.

Though I love and feel like saintly.
I reek, timorous, spineless and dainty.
But I have no respect for you!
Till we are in court, tried and true

It was the world, the world of defeat.
I planted my flag on a daisy and creek.
On a light dominion of my summerhouse place.
There sit, the lovely Welterman case.

Weltermans family gathered in boon.
Farewell to a daughter, a motherly loon.
I killed her. There. I said it okay?
But don't blame me, she was just in my way.

On a cold summer day, and a hot summer night.
Cicadas bizzled but hardly struck a fright.
Daisy lay sleeping, sweet next to me.
Leaving behind her unfinished dreams

But lo and behold, an undertaker.
Ruinous desire, I decided to take her.
My confession means nothing, my killing, an iota.
So love would not infect Alexander of Macedonia.

Down the throat and across the sea.
Of loquacious gelatinous sanctimony.
I'll cut deep without thinking, I'll slash without aversion.
Ophelia and her love is a tainted *******.

I bathed in the blood and cried myself silly.
She only deserved death, that ***** old filly.
No more would Welterman reek of my sin.
To lower a king, to a peasantly Tim.
god knows
Nevermore will the sun set on the day.
Dreamy blue skies smile, unveil and show mans dreams.
As your wafty blond hair lay woven between my fingers.

Sweetest god gifted to me, temptation.
I trust in the you that watches me.
Golden gates, your smile greets the world.

Knife edges, wounds and scars disappear.
The me that watches you is lost in those eyes.
Lay across the ground. Stare up into those broken dreams.

As the ground falls away, let me catch you heart and soul.
Nevermore to drown alone.
God kisses your sullen cheek, as the you that watches weeps.
Love, could I ever really compete? To the you who watches.
I will smile through each hardship, just so you can too.
It is actually embarrassing to write like this.
Bring me your hate, your love, your future and your past
Serve it in a plate with some wine in a glass
Show me a heart with which you have forsaken
Listen to it cry as it feels your hatred
Is this your life, a future and a past?
The meaning you see, you try to make last
Eventually all that you love will be dead
Everything you don't will be out for your head
Come my love
And be accepted Into my arms
My empty arms of neglect and pain
I'll bare you my soul, you will be to scared to run
Your heart beats so quick, your realities undone
Let's show our pain, our suffering, our love
Our trust and our desire we are the unheard of
We need no one else to hold us in grace
We already know that this is our place
You behind me, I am all alone
But I know your there and you keep me warm
There once lived love on this beach.
From hilltop to ditch, it wrote under dwelling.
Raining softly tears of regret.

There once lived love in this era.
Coalescing swarms of butterflies.
Drones in a no-fly zone.

There once lived love in this edict.
To your tender I offer the world.
An empty mailbox, a disconnected phone.

There once lived love given by me.
Flames of passion, lustful winds.
A wooden universe.

There once was love stolen to the void.
Every thought, image and moment trapped in a cable.
Painted faces on a spotless canvas.

I can no longer see you.
The bridge that we shared has been detonated.
I can no longer find the source.
These eyes frightened to find you, appraise every second, a moment of complete dread.
Rushing waters breath deeply.
Grasping, grappling and groping at the foundation of a life unlived.
Of a world unseen.
Of a fight not had.
Of honest words unspoken.
Cradle my bones that touch the sands surface.
Roost my dreams tightly bound.
Pitter-patter, the sounds of envy and jealousy.
Cold steel around your finger.
And pity the bird who called himself a snake and loved you more than a cohesive sentence could describe.
Wilting roses scattered across a broken sea
What I would give to have you next to me
Motionlessly drifting, breaking down the last door of sanity
The final solution. To cut off all ties to the unknowingly accused
A corrupt judge refuses bail
The jury has been overruled
A longing within writing
A means to an end
new heart aspires
So this one is dead
With the fragments of time
Nothing could have changed
Taking solace within the plume that is sadness
A sparkle of hope, exists within indecision
This is my omen
This is your hope
Bring me strength, laying in a basket
An unavoidable fall
Time has it's place, wearing away at that infinite
Causing pain as it tears at our hearts
Bring me to the blackness
Leave me in the light
Ground up this feeling
Start anew
Leave all regrets

Break away
I can see why people avoid the latest tab
As it seems to be ******* about life.
And political or religious hatred.
You'd think 2.5 million dead people would make their hearts heavy with self-reflection

but it seems not thusly so.
Just my thoughts.
Dawn

The sun crept from the hills along the roiled grey sky.
As the trees breathed deeply and looked to the pry.
Weaving through cries, the birds sang to their choir.
Through daylight flickering in the skew morning mire.

She walked along the edge of a streams moving shroud.
The light glazed and bled on her dress rich and proud.
in a valley so serene where goodness was spent.
From the dream where it droned in winters lament.

But her body moved onward into the story cast.
By memories and true love thrown into the past.
Speaking forlorn of a man both withered and lost
Of mud in the streets and floods on the frost.

By morning it was over and our hearts had been shaken.
Not to know until later just what had been taken.
Like embers in ash it had wilted and drowned.
It started with a shout, it left without a sound.

And his eyes wandered about, they looked to the crash.
And his body fell over in the green wild brash.
Light twinkled on the plants, it spoke from the cinder.
Again, and again, it grew from the tinder.

Crackle and hiss, stoke fire to the furnace.
Until his heart was warm and warmly in earnest.
Where love moved and it rested upon the life in his chest.
And relaxed as it closed her sallow eyes on his breast.

It moved as he moved into the hot pouring blaze.
By holding her hand and pulling into the phrase.
She burnt and he bruised and she tried to defend.
But 7 long years till their "together" would end.


Mid-day


The wind billowed around her dress, her veil and her gown
As his ears were closed and his eyes cast down.
Binary, basic, butch and bouquet.
As her feet move through the bones that littered the fray.

The body that cried cold and scattered in the spring.
Grow old, grow young and grow old once again.
And bray the sky pleading for a woman in love.
Receiving but rain and not answers from the angels above.

He cursed on their name and found comfort in the bellows.
Where tales like his can be found in its Fellows.
They bind, they break and they loiter in its seems.
All to find comfort in his ill gotten dreams.

Where it spreads like disease, where it climbs in the sound.
Until his thoughts and feelings grew heated in the crowd.
As everyone could see him as the narcissistic clown.
And no one would want for him, but be cruelly let down.

In home, he weltered and continued to persist.
As his friends would disappear into the cool white mist.
While his hands would reach out and ask for support.
Before the chains of his past bound him deftly and caught.

While he pleaded and asked to be left alone.
For him, people could not have hurt but be sown.
And the blaze at once ardent could not help now be cool.
Where the bray of his heart quieted, admitted he the fool.

Night

For the hangman did say as he tightened the noose.
"Ye be faithful, be kind and know who you choose.
Be bound by your honor, be bound by a ring."
He knew and he felt the harm he would bring.

And even at the end, He thought of her face.
He felt the lines in her hair, her movement and grace.
The words of hers that allowed him to sing.
And no clue of the future, that it would never bring.

We could not have known how much better or gaunt.
The dire, the coldness, the tired or the taut.
The pleasure, the playful, the tension in her smile.
And resisting the urge to stay more than a while.

But time moved on and it moved without thinking.
And the man who he was was no longer breathing.
No one who knew him, no one could believe.
What the ghost of a mean person in love could achieve.

The one who he was, was far too outspoken.
And who he is now, was never more open.
When moon light would shine and the mist would recede.
When strength was his motto and not covering his greed.

The ghost moved through death and learned how to be a man.
And his foes and his friends knew where he began.
He did business in town, he did work in the wing.
And never more did he feel, like a puppet on a string.

And now she is gone and he knows that's okay.
And he thinks about it again, and he hurts every day.
While struggling to sleep, when heart shadows cling.
He wrote a poem to remember a woman without wings.
Harsh unyielding sunset, buries me against the page.
I won't be lazing on a couch, left to rot and waste away.
Wormy plush Berber carpet soft against the afternoon.
Debts are pile high and the company picnic is this June.

The pages are vellum paper covered in ancient Egyptian script.
I've loved you methodically ever since we met inside that crypt.
The dregs brings me solemn hope that one day we'll breakthrough.
Works calling in on Sunday for some overtime that's overdue.

Its a 5 past 4 the glass lays arrhythmic, shattered at my feet.
We found each other down beside the casket of the diseased.
Heartfelt words never came out of a mouth that were so pure.
How could you take me for interesting, in life I'm just a bore.

Down. I've already ruined the letter meant from me to you.
Life is not a fairy tale to broker marriage for us two.
Bloodletting's an aphrodisiac to keep me at the brink.
Why'd I write this silly thing when I spilled my drink.
um. written with a friend. This poem is her fault.
Little words.
Crowded breaths.
See my hair?
Compliments.
Stoke the fire.
Rest the eyes.
Take the cake.
Eat it twice.
Lord the night.
Drown the years.
Forever more.
Forever near.
No trifle here.
But peace become.
Sat on here.
On our thumbs
Not much to say,
Not much to do.
Tv's how he spends his too.
Insecure.
Work to ends.
Lifes a trough.
Drink the *****.
Kids can sleep.
Dogs can lie.
Set the table.
Dress to style.
Out we go,
Once again.
To find a man,
Worth his bread.
I'm not sure about this but, I like it. I hope you do to. Made in a style like an awkward person who liked a different poem.
I'm asking you to love me like a rose amongst the flowers.
Thorny and fearful but you see me for what I am.
Let me be the field that our friendship can lay in.
I'll share with you my memories of pain and suffering.
Let me be the change in your life.
I'll let you try and change mine.
Let us be better then what we are.
You make me hate myself a little less every day.
I want you to be with me, by my side forever more.
I can see you for what you are.
Every event has made you, now I want this event to make you mine.
Be my friend. And be ready for my twisted love.
I **** on your grave for I have had too much to drink!
A glass 'o ginger beer and shrimp crackers I ate today.
Thou art not to fall! To tartuffery for a drink is as good as the last.
But alas, I am not to drink.
For my heart is heavy with woe.
Those stoics! They bring me much misery.
Oh the stoics, with their logically given truths that are naught but prejudice! Prejudice in truth they claim, liars.

Oh the stoics, with their ****** analogies of nature and so fourth.
To be! Like nature, is to be indifferent and prodigal.
That's probably why we love the intelligent uncaring character. He is nature.
She too! O' who's heart is full of love! She brings me roses and kisses upon my lips. She too, is nature. Stupid also, unbelievably crass.
Is crassness then, what we call nature? Then it is he! He! Who bring us our daily news who is unnatural. But then who is the preacher?
No, nature is to live. To live! Hah! A joke! To live is not a command for you cannot conceptualize living without living.
You'd do better as a pretty little scarab, but he doesn't drink ginger beer.

So too, our conclusion is to be natural. But not the scarab. To live, obviously. To be correct! by our own prejudice. And to reject divinely given truths. I do not know how I would feel about children of my own, we'll see when I have one.
******* ****

— The End —