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 Jul 2018 Sara Kellie
zebra
it was a dark dance
of an immovable body
as she was taken by the throat,
death, causing stupendous distortions
and entrancements of lunar landscapes
she reeled pirouettes between smothering
and seeing through a miraculous inner eye
deepening her sense of nothingness
as if pickled in a jar,  suspended in
formaldehyde
held buoyant
where there is no reason for anything
moveless in a veiled corridor
inhabiting innerness, a raven fog
her ******* wet with the scent of fear and ***
she fell through the earth
into the infernal arms of
Hades

his tremulous kisses
a thousand glittering eyes
she could see through
 Jul 2018 Sara Kellie
Jey Blu
abby
 Jul 2018 Sara Kellie
Jey Blu
I miss you kid
Everyday
I miss your sarcastic comments
I miss the way you frustrate yourself doing your hair
I miss your obsessions
I miss our song
I miss dancing in my room to your cds
I miss fighting with you over stupid things
I miss your chipped nails
I miss your glasses too far down your nose
I miss your references
I miss knowing all your crushes
I miss teasing you
I miss you teasing me
I miss **** date or marry
I miss your goody two shoes side
I miss your rebel side
I miss how proud you were of yourself
I miss your old confidence
I miss doing your makeup
I miss laying down and looking at the clouds
I miss everything
I missed you growing up
I missed you changing
I missed you becoming who you're not
You're gonna be in seventh grade in 6 months
And I'm not sure if I'll be there to see you off
I just want to be back with you
It's so scary being alone at that house, I know
I'm so proud of you and I love you
Stay strong kiddo
I hope you see this Abby

Update: She did
 Jul 2018 Sara Kellie
Jey Blu
Depression is smeared makeup mixed with tears
Depression is giving up on makeup and your appearance altogether
Depression is hiding behind a painted on smile that masks how you truly feel
Depression is losing the ability to love yourself, and then losing yourself
Depression is what takes over your heart, life and mind
Depression is being alone at 4 am and the only friend you have is the sharp silver thing hidden away from prying eyes
Depression is the satisfaction as the water becomes slowly tinted with crimson
Depression is the the darkness of your heart and the ruby red life leaking out of your wrist swirling together
Depression is wondering why your life has to be covered with the cloud of blackness
Depression is trying to hold on to that last bit of hope when you know, deep down, that there is none left
Depression is hiding in the bathroom and crying for no reason
Depression is feeling helpless when they take your blades and you resort to any form of pain you can get
Depression is needing that tangible feeling, because this **** isn't gonna just stay in your mind
Depression is feeling like everything is against you
Depression is feeling like nothing
Depression is feeling nothing
Finally can write again I've had no inspiration for a while
 Jul 2018 Sara Kellie
Jey Blu
I'm sorry.
I wish I hadn't said what I said.
I can see that you're trying.
I know you've changed.
I want my room back.
I want my home back.
I want my family to be pieced back together.
I miss feeling useful.
I haven't felt anything but sad since I left.
I need that light back in my life.
I want to cry but
I have to stop the tears.
I hate being apart from you.
I just want to go home.
I'm really sick of this **** and I just want to go home
" I got you some flowers."

" That's so sweet but why flowers?"

" What? You don't like flowers?"

" Flowers die. Isn't that a horrible metaphor for love? something that dies?"

"Well. **** the flowers. Lets just hold hands."
I never get flowers anymore
 Jul 2018 Sara Kellie
Madhurima
Dear society,

Stop trying to sober us up.
We’re young and bright
and beautiful and loud.
We will light up every
corner of every room
and still shine brighter
than the sun.

Stop telling us to cover up.
We will wear little black dresses
and bright red lipsticks,
leave lip-stains all over
your precious little world
and look so good doing it
that you’ll have to look away.

Stop telling us to slow down.
We live and love with so much
power and strength that we
cannot stop for you
or anyone, for that matter.
Every day is our day
and the world, our oyster.

Stop telling us we’re useless.
One day, we’re going to run the world
for you; going to be soldiers, doctors
writers, artists, speakers of the truth
and the truth is that we’re alive
and strong and here, and
you cannot control us.

From impatient, beautiful, and exuberant young girls everywhere.
This girl is lonely.
She is weak but kind.
She had been hurt.
She lives in her mind.
But this me you see.
What am I?
Who is she?
Is she complex like you?
Does she feel?
Does she cry too?
This ******* the page.
You only see these words.
Words of sadness and rage.
A version of me in everyone’s head.
What an interesting thought.
From all the words I’ve said.
You’ve created an image, a life.
This version of me you know.
I wonder if that me feels this strife.
If you think about it, everyone we meet, whether it’s a friend or just someone passing by, creates a version of who you are in their mind. Then there’s this version of you that is in your mind. The version you know. Well that version you know isn’t even real.
 Jul 2018 Sara Kellie
Ain
You texted and talked....
Even slightly stalked...

You exalted praise...
What an ego raise...

You said you loved...
So I thought you loved....

You fussed and cared...
So I thought you cared...

You pledged you sweared...
And so slowly I dared...

I loosened the grip...
I let my heart trip..,

At first all said...
Was sweetness spread...

My thoughts my words...
Were chirping birds...

For hours and hours....
And hours and hours...

We’d talk and chat....
Timeless was that....

All of a sudden....
I turned to burden....

Abrupt it was....
Didn’t know the cause....

So bitter you turned....
My heart it burnt....

All sweet turned sour....
Every minute every hour....

It stabbed my soul...
Esse shaken whole...

I tried to reach...
To know to preach...

Just why and what...
That’s all I sought...

So vague so weird...
So strangely severed...

I longed so much...
For a wordly touch...

Please just one word...
I yearned for a word....

Silence only...
**** the melancholy...

It dawned on me..,
Just played did thee...

Those words were fake...
My mind did wake...

Metamorphosed am I...
Now I no more sigh....

Now am not the same.....
I evolved in your game....
Sorry, Sara,        I can't see ur poem;
if it's the filthiest thing u ever wrote,             I doubt that:
I had a good friend who                       was trans & she was
built like                                 a bodybuilding bikini model
& I was just out w/ a      |          seventeen-year old boy
in a little black  dress & w/ matching
                                         Espadrilles:
G---- & M----- are two  [                      ] of the hottest
          women I know:
there's nothing filthy        about them:
         M-----       is an NP &
G---- is going to C------
                     to be a Vet b/c she loves little
                                               black kittens:
my trans-friends             are ******* saints:
              I joke   they should; [       ]                  [hard leather
        bulldaggers       |            are the stuff         of myth & legend]
         become nuns b/c apart from the dress
  & make-up they're pretty                                ******* straight
                                   [not every one is gay]
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