I'm really good at starting over.

Picking up broken pieces and discovering the light in dark places.

I've got this grasp of hope that never fades. It pulses in my palms and Sparks my fingertips.

Yet still sometimes I resist the urge to hang my head in shame, and admit defeat.

Time grows distant when I count the monsters hiding in the shadows.
Always waiting too consume me.

I dust off volumes of myself tucked into forgotten corners at night.
Insomnia my most unwelcome visitor.

I can find comfort in stillness and solitude.

But sometimes...

I wish someone would hold me.

I remind myself alot these days that

I'm so good at starting over.
I'm so good at watching it all fall apart.

I wish to be a cloud.

I could linger in between.
Present but not fully here.

I'd allow the wind to take me along the endless sky.
Never losing possibilities or places.

I wash my hands of regret and responsibility.
I'll bask in freedom and forgot about pain.

To be visible, yet never close enough to touch.
Always searching for what lies beyond my reach.

At this moment I'd give anything to be a cloud,
To dissolve into the unknown and become so beautiful.

I've written his name on my *******,
because it can never escape my lips.

He's only for me,
My very own secret.

He could breathe for me,
Because he makes me forget how.
Pressing his mouth to mine and his palms to my bare chest.

I could let him break me,
Bend me into submission.

I want so badly to leave lipstick stains in forbidden places,
and the scent of my perfume on his skin.

Butterflies can't be suppressed,
nor can the effect he has over me.
Setting me on fire as I seal his name away,
the taste of our secret lingering always on my lips.

Long crossed paths that leave life in a tangled mess. Which road to pick will right my wrongs, I don't know I must confess.

I grow exhausted from my journey, and decided to seek refuge under this old oak tree. As I sat and ponder direction, it wrapped its branches around me.

Comfort came and tamed my rage, quieted the voices inside my head. When sleep overshadowed thought, it provided a humble bed.

As I woke the mighty oak whispered through the breeze. Letting me know I must go, and choose the path I please.

Reluctant I stand strong and make my way, looking back only to find. That my tree of comfort and refuge was gone, it was a figment of my mind.

He took something from me that I never wanted to give him.

Intimacy abandoned with secrets uncovered.
Burning new scars into my skin,
I'm left hurt and raw.

Tears fall without permission.
Flowing from me until I'm submerged enough to drown.
Oh please...just let me drown...

Tea leaves scattered in my cup cast the same pattern thrown along the floor.
The aroma of desperation so strong that he wears it like Cologne.

I won't let him kiss me anymore,
As I'm tired of the lies his lips tell and the metallic taste they suddenly hold.


Now I falter on broken wings.
He's a thief,
but I don't know how to stop my heart from loving him.

We all have monsters in our closets we'd rather not wake up.
When we do, it's for someone that'll protect you.
I woke mine up for you.
Where are you now to protect me?