you call out my name
when my knees are on the ground
when colour disappears
when hope turns into nonexistence

you call out my name
when you know that i am weak
when you know that i've got nobody
when you know that i'm alone

it's my  name you speak
when the darkness comes again
when rain falls from clear blue skies
when the warmth has gone

it's my name you speak
as i grow sicker
as i throw away my pills
as i cry myself to sleep once again

you're who i turn to
when light is but a memory
when words fail to soothe
and the days drag on

you're who i turn to
in my darkest hours, and when i am fine
before i even try
and when i've given up yet again

yours is the name i whisper
when people asks whats to blame
when they ask what helps
when they ask me what i want to stop

you're the one
i'll never give up
i'll never stop hating
the one that defines me

Self Harm
you're the one
i will always
need.

an ever-surmounting pile of guilt
stops me from sharing with you
all of the inconceivably dark things
that, to myself, i do.

the ever-raging seas of despair
that drown all glimpses of light
are growing inside of my mind
oh, how the skies were once so bright.

the darkness that lives inside of my mind
has slowly taken control
i am no longer able to feel light's warmth
nor, can i remember it at all.

i was once a young, joyous girl
until the devil stole away her last breath
and since that day
all i can think about is joining her in death.

The darkness sets in
It eats away at my heart
The light gets dimmer and fades away
I'm drowning but breathing
All at once

The blade calls out my name
The relief it gives is tempting
My self control crumbles away
The blade provides comfort
Once again

The afterlife waits patiently
For the day I draw my last breath
In my mind I picture heaven
But in my heart I feel hell
The end isn't far away

The rain steadily falls
The night air is still
I've lost the will to live
So willingly I shall leave
My last word - farewell.

i failed once again
my impulses take control
i find no reason to fight it
i fell like ive lost it all

the demons
come creeping back in
they help me pick up the razor
and put it against my skin

one little line
soon becomes more
its not long before
the drips hit the floor

im falling down
back into old habits
its a neverending fall
into neverending pits

it's time for me to go now
the gashes need to heal
ive been torn and torn myself up
none of this seems real

all the days just fade into one another
i do nothing, i see nothing, i am nothing
even medication and self harm cannot bring me out of this darkness
i binge and purge the demons out of me

i take all the pills at once to drown out my own self hate
i take them all to accompany the numbness in my heart
i slip down further and further
the darkness gets darker and darker

i drink away the voices in my mind
i drink until they go from sharp and bitter
to warm and soft
i drink the pain away

i cry until my heart caves in
i cry because there's no other way
i can suffer like i should
i cry until my eyes dry out

i take the pills
i drink everything away
i cry all night
until i find the courage to end my own life.

A simple whisper,
A silent tear: falling.
My heart: whole,
You walking free.
A quiet goodnight,
A sweet kiss in the dark.
Nothing like this.

A simple song,
A silent wish: imagined.
My mind: blank,
You leaving here.
A quick goodbye,
A girl left in the dark.
Something like this.

i stand below the line
my ribs stand out on their own
i am not thin enough
i need to be only bone

i'll starve the demons out of me
purge until they're gone
i won't let food touch my lips
i've been too big, too long

the voices that i hear
they tell me i'm not good enough
no one will ever love me
because i weigh so ******* much
------
i stood below the line
they said i was underweight
but all i saw was fat
and all i felt was hate

i cried the demons out of me
wept until i was numb
i didn't let people see
the monster that i had become

the voices that i used to hear
told me i had to go
that if i wanted freedom
my blood would have to flow.