black
nightmare
the voices
inside my head
disturb sanity
preventing morning light
from coming through the darkness
everything in my head stops dead
the voices say i must try get out
the only one that can stop them is death

the pills go down and darkness comes again
the voices start getting quiet
slowly morning starts coming through
all the pain begins to fade
and thoughts become clearer
the urge to live dims
death welcomes me
and deep down
my heart
beams

you have always been half a world away
but now my heart is only breaking more
i don't know if you're really gone
but your silence only lengthens this war

even though you never knew it
you helped fight the demons in my mind
just the thought of you leaving me
erases all hope i could ever think to find

i honestly can't say that i'm surprised
i always knew that one day you'd leave me
but i still don't want to believe it's true
because my heart still says that it can't be

i didn't even know that i could break more
but i guess that's what you do
you poison and destroy
then leave when it's convenient for you

even though you've ruined me forever
to me, love was never a lie
and there is no way that i could ever say
goodbye

what if none of this is real
it's just all inside my head
all of these crazy thoughts
are telling me i'm better off dead

what if this whole time
it's all been a lie
and i really have
no reason to cry

what if i don't belong
anywhere in this world
i'm so much better than most
but i'm still a messed up little girl

what if i ended it all
then would everything be okay
what if I've decided
to put a stop to everything today

i guess i don't know what i'm looking for
all i want is for this war to end
i'm done with nights crying on the floor
just waiting for my heart to mend

i wish i didn't have to find
relief and comfort in this blade
the only things it's put in my mind
are reminders of the mistakes I've made

all of these thoughts in my head
are slowly killing me
i want help but they give me pain instead
i'm hurting; can't you see?

i want all of my demons to die
maybe then i'll escape all this hurt
but what if making my demons die
means killing myself first?

my hands are numb
my blood;
like ice in my veins
skies are grey
rain falls
the pain running through me
stops any warmth from coming in
the words i hear
poison my mind
giving me reason after reason
to swallow the pills
tighten the rope
slit my wrists.

everything i say
screams
"take me away"

Her clothes are stained red,
From the truth that she shed.
Her wrists are stained a deep purple,
From the lies that she has hidden.

So many promises were broken,
Those which were spoken and
Unspoken.
All shattered in one, swift, swipe.

The tears are now drying up,
They're being replaced with a huge
Smile.

The numbness is now taking over,
Her one true saviour.
The one she has been lusting over,
Since the razor has become her master.

I keep these blades
Tucked safely behind
Diarys and notebooks
To keep my demons company

I keep these fears
Alive and well
Burning in my mind
To keep my demons company

I keep these memories
From those nights
Back when I tried to die
To keep my demons company

I keep these demons
Leave them by my side
I let them destroy me
Just so they can keep me company