As i open the door, the living room deflates. I force myself forward. Taking a seat somewhere between my strong will and constant search of comfort. You smell like stale popcorn and feel like an uneased sympathy pat on the back. I remember the excitement which once lived here in the space next to me.  Its memory almost evaporated into a musk that barely lingers. I remember the coos and awes and sounds of admiration now air bubbles trapped beneath frozen surface. Each moment passing, an empty exchange watching gravity ****** sand from my lifes hour glass. Leaving my soul to crave affection as you snore and i absorb the television screen.
The difference of distance, inches yet worlds away

Bed fit for a king,
Yet it stills stings
Big empty bed with so much room
Alone with my thoughts, regret filled tune
Staring at the ceiling with its black background
My yawning stretches filling hallow with sound
Lots of space so i sleep diagonal
Spirit is plummeting, im acting irrational
Plenty of room to steal covers off a lover
But instead, i lay alone
Tossing and turning and yerning
Big empty bed with so much room
So much space for loneliness to consume

Purgatory feels like...
A dance with the devil who wears my lovers face. It feels like a disregarded boiling tea kettle of our responsibilities that is ready to burst. You hand it back to me as if it were an unwanted gift, making promises with fingers crossed in attempt to silence me. You force it into my arms and my arms alone as you are shaking your head in disapproval.  Selfish snakes have stolen your once sweet tongue, now sour, as you ignore the fact that I already bare the weight of the world which clings onto my shoulders. Animosity swells inside me as two lives crash and burn. You walk away disconnected from it all, continuing on in your child-like life in a cusioned bubble of ignorant bliss. I am swollowed by quicksand inside this burning fictional house we built - standing here, paralyzed, mouth sunk open in disbelief. As you walk away...

My shadow tiptoes beside me
Shes with me everyday
Sometimes i embrace her
Other times i wish her away
But today is a day i need her
So will she come and play?

A fire that makes me feel alive
Adrenaline rush,
my worries subside
Her courage,
my crutch
When im out of touch
Moving me,
whirlwind in the dust
A dark figure,
Who wears many hats
A curious lady,
A circus acrobat -
a street smart magician
When i finally snap
Patiently waiting,
a midnight snack
When I'm full of rage,
She hands me the bat.
a ventriloquist on stage,
Who tells me what to say
A gardener she digs,
As she hums come what may
And i know i shouldn't..
But I listen anyway.

A seamstress by day
Warrior at night
suiting me with armour
Preparing me to fight
My shadow......the dark
A doctor with the cure
to my broken heart

A beacon of reckoning,
Asking me to grow colder,
my shadow self -
The sinner on my shoulder.

A budding flower,
I egress on the ol' soul retreat,
Where the sun is hot and pleasure tastes sweet.
A busy bee making friends with all that i meet,
While harnessing the power nestled in my own two feet.
She is spontaneous, the spirit that resides.
The emperess i love most, but whom often hides.
Adventurous, as she explores new depths inside.
Fresh squeezed freedom,
Days that taste like lemonade,
All the while disobeying lifes civil masquerade.
Self-discovery,
Illuminating forgotten dusty doors,
Shackles of responsibility breaking loose,
My wild lion heart roars.
The feeling of stepping on a one way flight,
A jelly fish adrift a cool current,
Flowing night after night.
Unlocking ingredients of the person within,
As my inner goddess smirks at me with a welcoming grin.
                            Free,
                               Free to Be,
                                  Free to Be Me
Wild locks, tanned skin with a tooth-full smile,
She sees something in her reflection she hasnt seen in awhile.
Forgive me self, for i have sinned
I let myself forget the refreshing feeling
Of the mountain top wind.
-D

As the unforgiving winds changed their beat
And all that was stumbled into last week
Future times, where lovers eyes no longer meet
Two strangers, opposite sides of the street in retreat

Its a pins and needles tingle
Which slowly fades away
Muscles aint moved a single
Laid in bed all day
My insides are empty
Because my love has left me
Alone in the darkness
Heartless