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Kenji King Nov 2020
My thoughts screaming out loud...
**** me daddy...
I need it bad, I want it, I crave it like a sin waiting to be unfolded inbetween my thighs where wetness needs to be explored.
You seem like trouble, temptation that I can’t help but have no control over.
Teasing you senselessly and wondering why I seem to have such an effect on people.
My eroticism speaks millions of sensual nightmares waiting to be unraveled and seeked upon.
My curtains are shaking and trembling waiting for pleasure to be evoked.
I scream to loudly on the inside wanting to lock away this part of me.
My ****** and ****** nature got me in bad spaces in the past, locking and hiding away that part of me for so long , I forgot what it felt to squirt... to feel drenched in your sweat, to leak forbidden sins...
Calling me your ****, I love it when you provoke me, wrap me, and hold me.
It’s been a long time, I need a reminder of what it’s like to be bad again...
I’ve been good, keeping my habits controlled.
I want to feel you and ******* so bad it’s driving a drill through my chaotic sinful mind.
My words so raw and unfiltered, I need it bad...
Daddy, punish me for all that I have sinned...
Don’t forgive me, kiss me harder and penetrate deeper into my mind.
**** me with your words then show me what a bad baby I’ve been....
The devils ****** monster is lurking within, waiting for a sign....
Hungry and seductively parched.
Bring out my demon and allow her to drive you ****** insane...
Kenji King Nov 2020
Words are worthless.
Defeated, I have nothing left inside to keep on pushing and fighting.
Diminished.
What a fool...
I’ve lost myself.
Kenji King Nov 2020
I want you to feel it.
The pain, the pleasure, the greed, the sin.
Feel it writhe up inside of you.
I want to destroy you.
I want your flesh to peel off your raw skin.
Sin embellishment of lingering thoughts.

Freak out, lose yourself slowly.
Disintegrating flesh turning to ash, to dust, to nothing.
It kills me inside, it's too deep to explain.
I want to **** it.
I want to **** you.
I want to end it.

Tell me the truth?
AM I WHAT YOU TRULY SEE?
Or are you lying to me?

*******

Answer me.
Don't make me wait
You all look the same to me.
NUMB
****** peasants.
Humans **** me off
idiots

Pretentious  behaviour and forbidden thoughts.
Show yourself.

NOW

You all weak to me, stand up for yourself.
Stand up for what you believe in.
Stop being ****** Sheep!!!!!!!!

You hate the truth?
That's why you hate me...
I love it.
Face death in it's ****** face and rip the mask off and build your ****** strength and stop being like everyone ****** else!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Get off your ****** ***, and make the change.
Before time runs out and you sitting on the street wondering what happened to your kids.

The truth is ****** ugly...
FACE IT
Follow my words and make a change for yourself
This one is for the people
Kenji King Sep 2020
My life is private, my secrets drenching in hopeless fear.
I express out loud, longing for admiration.
Yet, I hold everything in, saying nothing, no word my tongue could ever expose.
Fake friends, liars, backstabbers...
They only miss me once I’m gone.
I left, secretly disappeared without a knowledge to anyone.

But once they know I’m gone, is when they start to miss me.
I’ve moved on, left the city and started new in a different one.
I left like the wind with a cold dryness in the air.
Unspeakable, they only coming back cuz they know I’m not around.

Incomplete, I’ve learnt to never trust anyone ever again.
Deep thoughts hit and I know what’s going to happen before it does.
Caused by experience, pain, loss, and abuse.
I avoid it all, and seclude myself in my mysterious fantasies that will never come to my reality.
I live life in despair, knowing that I’m the curse, the darkness itself.
I’m the person who’s devil you speak the name of.
I’m your nightmares in your lost daydreams.

Too much intensity, I may be trouble.
But my deceiving nature has you thinking otherwise... doesn’t it?

Maybe it’s just thoughts of people talking about me constantly, even though it’s not real.
Nothing is.
My illusion is my nightmare and my delusions is my reality.
Im never going back.
They probably never going to see me ever again, but I guess it’s satisfying to make them think otherwise.
To make them think that I still love them and we probably still friends.
But when I was around, where were they without my effort?

Without my effort, everything is at loss.
I prefer to label these people as my aquaintances.
Calling them my friends is just a facade to cover up my intense loneliness caused by my experienced deep ridden trust issues.

I have no friends.
I like it that way.
I stay detached cuz people are worthless to me.
I like being alone, it’s my new cure.
With my seclusion, I am nothing more to be.

If I call you my friend, please don’t get confused when I ghost you and never actually talk to you, but I end up coming back few months later saying how much I miss you and love you.

Don’t we all do that?
This darkness of truth and lies all hidden inside of us.

Disappearance, keep your distance.
Kenji King Sep 2020
There I go again, hands to my face, sinking deep, way bottom where ocean-less ties rip you apart.
Lost all meaning, to life, to live.
To love is now madness and hate is my deceit.
I stay pitiful in my thoughtless mind, where my black dreams, leak.
Pour into nothingness.
The emptiness cascades and to the void I become.

They say, look into the mirror, tell yourself good things and be positive.
I stare into my empty soulless eyes...
I see death.
I see darkness.
I see hollow shadows carving my skin.
Under my eyes, is exhaustion.
Faintly fatigue.
Pits of gory sadness staying attached to me.

The depression I live in, the depression I’ve lived in my whole life, it became who I am.
Being unwanted, used, unloved, abused, tormented, rejected, hurt, broken, useless, thrown away, kicked out, misunderstood, defeatless, weak...
IS THE PAIN OF WHO I AM NOW.

I try drowning myself, it feels too difficult, I lift my head out of the water gasping for air.
The medication, the overdoses, all ended up having me in hospital, still alive, unfortunately.

As I was born to die, why do I exist?
I am nothing.
I am empty.
I am dark.
I am useless.
I am alone.

I don’t trust people.
I don’t even trust myself anymore.

To live through hurt and getting broken by someone else is not something I can go through anymore.
I’ve made that choice, to live my whole empty shallow life as a lost loner.

Since everyone leaves, the only person I have is myself, no matter how much I hate her.
She’s a monster, the ****** devil.
I hate her.

When I look into my eyes, I see nothing.
Kenji King Aug 2020
Why was I made to exist? To merely experience life through sorrowful eyes.

I drown so deep, I question all my feelings and try to make excuses as to why I feel a certain way.
Certain ways I don’t even understand.
If I was made to bring a revolution and change perception, then why should I **** myself just by doing so?
So empty and hollow, the wall has enclosed.
If I was born to be misunderstood, why is it so easy for me to understand and accept everyone else, even those who discredit me.

The voices in my twisted mind. Who are they? Are they real? Is it my intuition? Or is it intuition turned into nerve aching anxiety.
Writhing inside of me, eating every part of my disillusioned sanity.
If I seize to exist to help those who put me down and call me crazy, then why is it worth it?

If I could hang myself right now tight around the neck where I might snap my spine... why would it matter?
I’ve accepted being alone, being lonely is now contentment. Peace.
Drained by others negativity, pulling me down like strings by their problems.
If I was meant to show my true form, why is it that I live in different facades.
Questioning who I am every single ****** day.

I hear people constantly talk about me, in my mind.
Is it intuition? Or mere delusion.

I’m dead. Empty. My purpose in life is to physically die so I can finally go back to where I came from. Other dimensions where I truly belong.

Disentanglement, I lose myself in fear.
Kenji King Jun 2020
I have nothing left to say...
My words have been unwritten.

Depression consumes me to the last bits of my insanity.
I live pretentiously like it doesn’t bother me, like it doesn’t hurt, or mean anything.
I live in pain, everyday.

It’s become apart of who I am, of who I am meant to be. Like living without this pain, would be worthless.
I let it consume me, control me.

My anxiety rushes through my veins and the voices and conversation won’t stop.
My mind never stops.
And when I’m alone, which is constantly, the thoughts eat me up alive like a rotting corpse is writhing inside of me.

I’ve learnt to get used to it, living with such intense feelings and a consumable mind never gets better, it only gets worse.
I’ve let the pain become me.
The person I hide.
It’s the only love I let myself embrace.
Pure madness.

I was born to be alone, living in lonesome misery for eternity.
Thoughts get dark, things get deep, and since I’m alone everyday, it gets even darker.

I hate people.
Stupid, fake, and you can’t trust any of them.
But sadly, I need them for mere distractions.
That’s all they are, temporary distractions.
They never stay, I don’t either.

I’ve learnt to keep my emotional distance.
Staying detached keeps you from getting hurt.
But what I long for, I will never find.

Born to be misunderstood and to die alone I shall....
This misery will be the death of me.
So it be.
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