It feels like only yesterday,
Like it wasn’t faraway.
I got ******,
No more rubber band on my wrist.

“I’ll be fine”,
Bottom line.
I’ll cope,
No need for a rope.

“I love you”,
But you don’t love me when I’m blue.
When I get sad,
You get mad.

When I get hurt,
You help me with dirt.

But no,
I'll let you make me your foe.
When you get sad,
I’ll become like a dad.

I’m always here for you,
Whether or not you’re blue.
But when you want me to cry,
It makes me want to die.

I felt something off
You write my concerns off with a scoff.
I think I’m not okay
And your response is to stay away

You left without a second glance
And left me alone in this dance

You apologize
But all I hear are your lies
You try so hard
To get me to let down my guard

But you broke me
And for a while I couldn’t see
Its been months since November
But I still remember

You attacking me through text
You left me vexed
I sobbed so hard
But now I see I’m just another card

Another pawn in your game
Another name you can claim
Another person you can manipulate
My heart still won’t regulate

I think deep down it wasn’t your fault
You didn’t mean your verbal assault
But the texts prove it
That I was just a bit

Just a pawn in your game
Just someone you could crop out of the frame
But I can’t do this anymore
I'm slamming the door

You meant so much,
And I still crave your touch.
But I need to let myself heal,
By letting myself feel.

My alarm rings
It stings
Why do I have to get up
I want my coffee in my cup

I go to school
And remember I’m not “cool”
I don’t fit in
I feel like I’m in someone else's skin

I say it every day
When I feel my body start to sway
“I love myself”
But do I?

We all act like someone we aren’t
We’re all so blunt
I hear everyone say “Love yourself”
But do I love myself?

I’d love to pretend
But I always feel like I’ll bend
About to snap like my rubber band
Struggling just to stand

But I’ll always pretend
This isn’t the end

I hear it call my name,
But this isn’t just a game.
I feel it in my throat,
But I can’t let myself bloat.

Water once clean,
Now green.
This is my cycle,
But nothing is getting recycled.

Rinse repeat,
But I can’t eat.
I feel agony,
But at least I don’t feel gluttony.

I fear it,
But this is legit.

But I know when the time comes,
And I feel my heart pound onto my lungs.
I’ll run back,
Into my self made trap.

I’ll feel my stomach drop,
With no intent of making it stop.
I’ll fall back in,
Like trash into a bin.