You never leave my sight.

For even when I fall to sleep,

even though you are the last my waking eye sees,

dreams will not let me be.

See what i mean?
                I am not what you think i am.
                       I am not over my past.
                I haven't overcome my flaws.
               I have not found my confidence.
      And i am not perfect at all and never will be.
   But with time I will maybe be what i wish i could be and that is perfect in my eyes, not haunted by my past and set  free by my thoughts.

i just wonder though, can someone hug you for long and tight that all the crushed bones are squashed back together.

The only difference between sound and silence
Is that one is real and one is in your head
I always have a hard time figuring out which one is which

Inner demons who seem to rule my fate
for me I feel its far to late
for deep within they always hide
these monsters eating away at me from the inside

inner demons that scream
my thoughts some how not what they seem
monsters that creep out at night
Oh hell! ! this does not feel right

inner demons, please find another soul to torment
for me this torture is no longer meant
My deeply feared monsters of the dark
here no longer will you park

inner demons leave me be
my scary monsters of the night
I beg of you, please finally let me be
for my soul craves, needs the much healing light

inner demons, cast yourselves away
no longer do I want you to have any say
monsters who taint my soul to black
no longer will you haunt, for I will someday find my way back!

To those who claimed to love me….

To those who claimed to love me before….
I hope you find everything in life that you didn't see in me.
I hope you can open up your heart to someone as loving as I am.
I hope you can be honest in a way you weren’t with me.
I hope you can wake up happy with yourself everyday so you don’t take from me again.

To those who claimed to love me before….
I hope you start to love yourself.
I hope you never feel the need to compete with other men again.
I hope you find happiness in the woman you left me for.
I hope you get build a life of your own that you thought you couldn’t build with me.

To those who claimed to love me before
I hope I never meet another man like you again
I hope I become everything you always thought you wanted.
I hope I succeed in everything you told me I couldn’t
I hope I escape the abuse I endured being with you

I wish you well in life because I am doing just fine now without you. I wake up every morning knowing I don’t feel suffocated by your gaze.
I walk down the street every day now grinning from ear to ear thinking about how liberated I feel. No one compares me to another. No one puts me against another.
I am finally free of the emotional and physical torture I endured being with you because I cared.
At the end of the day I cared….not you.