The days end like'
The last chord of a song-
As the final curtain falls over
The sky; covering another day
To it's eventual longer night'
An army of silence in the cricks of crickets,
The wickedness of the street calls, yelling out
"Save me, Save me, from the holes in my face"
In a city depraved of maintenance,
A year of the elect; elections around the corner'
I've come to the age to vote; a sexennial older

I a man, like the end of that song
Playing a melody of what self-care, self-motivating,
Self-discipline, and what my true self is willing sing
The key is, to be the beautiful that was tuned into your spirit

                                     ...Sing loudly myself

i heard of a shadow,
in an empty room
full of intentions,
still they're like a rainy day
still deciding how grey it wants to be.

i picked the corner of a world,
where my square ideas were vaguely
valued; a child who thinks out of the box
i stored a piece of myself in the closet
of my parent's skeletons;
ancestry artifacts burdened by a
generational chain,- the attire of a uniform
conversation; pretending i had a
good day at school today.

"no i didn't cry as much in class,
as i usually do, dearest mother
i did try to make a pass on math on being
calculative, on how i spent my day,
busiest father."

"as i bullied a bully before he could
make me his next victim
cutting him short a few generations
when i kicked him in his *****."

and i only cried, not out of guilt,
but to guilt everyone else, as to make it
seem as if it wasn't entirely my fault.

still even if it had not rain that day,
i'd still ask myself why my tears
felt so grey that day

July babies, falling in the
atmosphere of a beauty's sight

In a line, a straight answer to say
you're so beautiful

But as usual, a beautiful sight causes
a man to lose his words

To sell his worth
to afford the confidence to talk to you

But as usual, the fool struck by beauty;
is lightning striking twice

...so all he can say is,

"hey you look really nice"

This man, this earthly man, a secret dancer in the night,
Behind these closed doors and shut eyes, is breathless with all his fright.
I'm a thief in the night but a hero keeping a close eye to himself,
Fearing what  his own difference could bring him, I'm still praying to God for a little more wealth.

And I cry so much even though my eyes are as dry as desert sands,
I laughed so much till my eyes could burst out and fall into my two earthly hands.
And I fell in love so much so that it becomes a constant dream,
I asked for so much in my head and hope all these prayers reach up to him.
I try not to hate but I hate that idea,
I try not to lie but I'm lying to myself right now, my greatest fear.
I think of a distant future but want to live in a distant forever past,
I build castles in my head with golden bricks, hoping that they will forever last.

And I watched all the other kids  dancing in circles while we were sitting in squares,
The boys were kissing all the girls while we were fixing up all our lustful stares .
The girls we loved were loving somebody else,
The men were growing backwards and we were grooming ourselves.

And I  lost the time a couple of times like all other men,
I fell prey to my own flesh till it grew bitter and plain.
I ***** that girl in my head without laying a finger, but undressed her in my head,
I told that demon I wouldn't let him in but I opened the back door instead.

So my father would forgive me for a lot of things I've done, the things I've said,
I would need a comforting hand, I would need a heavenly best friend.
Because I'm a earthly man with this flesh so weak and cold,
A mortal man growing to be so very old.

Take me to heaven right now,
Take me far away from here,on my knees I bow.

This prayer from a sinful man amongst all the other sinning men,
Angel take my prayer up to him, in his mighty name I pray, Amen.

So like now I feel empty
and worthless.
Only if and when I give someone their worth
I know what worth is.

Good fortunes on me,
would be a blessing if I'm fortunate.

Must be dead,
living life right off the edge.
I wonder much,
into a wondrous thought.

Guard yourself.
The god you know,
when is he one, that you'll call?

When you fall,
how you rise depends
on what...you choose as a "pick me up".  

Even as I'm here,
feeling like a stranger out of place.
This nowhere has me worried.
Navigate through time,
time isn't in anyone's control.
You may lose yourself in too much worry,
more or less lose your soul.

Unfortunately for a fortunate fool,
I'm not at my end.
Though the road isn't as clear,
it's all for a moment by this bend.

Not as afraid,
fear is now a passing mist.  
The times seem dim,
but don't blow out a  light on a dream.
Always another goal in life,
you'll shoot sometimes to miss.

But as alive as you are,
you still got some shots.
So what you got?
Even a tiny little could be a lot.

Of all the fortunes that come your way,
many of which aren't the same.
Let's then all meet in between Fortunes Gate.

"Empty plates
loads of food for thought"
~said the overthinker
"Empty pockets
of a penny for a thought"
~now isn't that rich to the poor

"Empty trees
killing two birds with a stone"
~so said myself with terrible aim
"Empty marathon
I should cut to the chase"
~apologies for the blunt knife

"Empty battleground
always up in arms"
~a man of war only knows a gun
"Empty ears
we're left out in the cold
~no intention to hear my pain

"Empty flame
how to avoid burning bridges
~a man with enlightened wisdom
"Empty dreams
then after I hit the sack
~kept all of my dreams in a bag

                               ....Goodnight

Wish I had the knowledge to think straight inside a crooked world,
Or at least on the piece of wisdom that only exists. I kindly prefer.

Dear Sir, if you have the ears to listen, or are  you just ignoring my voice,
But if screaming to the Heavens would get your attention, I'm leaving you no choice.
Cause I'm left out onto the ground like pieces of black rose, and these feelings seem not to matter, but they'll gladly impose.

I kindly prefer for you to have the time to give me back some of mine,
Pay a little of my due on pieces of a silver dime, and stretch out the path I'm walking on from this thin line.

Dear Sir  you've seemingly took much of your time, leaving a lot of responsibilities behind,
And your not the type to hide, but don't act keen on it if it's only on your pride.
For you may think of me lesser for thinking you're no longer by my side.

And don't call me by my faith, a lot of it has gone to waste.
Instinctively hiding my pain behind a smile on my face.


So kindly good Sir would you take the time to move off your throne,
Lend the hand to aid upon my palm, and being a King with your crown, would you'd do what should be done seemingly calm.


So here's a reminder to you, thinking I should bring my affairs to your alarm.

Writing words, hoping I'll make a mark.
Truthfully where could I start.
But still, reading through these words see what's deep inside my heart.

Love begins from far beyond, but  never finds an end,
Perhaps wish me Dead
To take any other woman's love to be better than yours instead.
Loving Hugs & Kisses, all the care you gave while tucking me into Bed.

  Your Love never escapes my head.
Proudly I say you're the Best chef I know.
Best doctor with her kisses as the best Med
Seeing you shine helps me to glow.

Giving the best of all your time,
Glad enough to claim you MINE,

Love of such Devine.

Thinking upon the time we've spent together....

Truly Blessed am I,
How could I ever defy
Nor an if to deny.

But honestly just to comply
Of seeing your Love behind your Heart's loving eye.

Just makes say O'my
Till these eyes will fall to cry.

I love you mother so dearly
Of not being just merely
For I seen Love so wide & clearly
Repeating on myself that dear mother I love you DEARLY.

So I say to you, Happy Mother's Day.


                                                         Kas.....

As I gaze upon you, tears streaming down your face,
I see a reflection of myself witnessing your sorrow,
It's as if your eyes shoot bullets of pure pain
And it's in this moment, I feel utterly useless,
like a needle without a sharp point, trying to
pierce your skin one last time.

Yet, despite our shared agony,
we are both numb to anything except
the hurtful words spoken by our loved ones.

My eyes, immortal and wise, yearn for
a life beyond the limits of mortality,
I desire wealth as time slowly passes, reminding
me of its monotonous nature.
In my imagination, I lead a more fulfilling existence,
However, I cannot imagine myself as the one
who will ever live out those dreams.
The sacrifices I have made will lay the groundwork
for the success that will support my loved ones.

Above all, I am someone who prioritizes others
over myself. They are my first thought, the beat
of my heart, and the recipients of my prayers
as time goes on.

In the depths of my longing, I find comfort
in the idea of transcendence.
In my mind, I envision a world where our sorrows
are fleeting moments in an eternity of joy and fulfillment.

I yearn for the day when your tears of anguish
turn into tears of laughter, when the burden of
our pain is lifted and replaced with a lightness of being.
This vision drives me forward, even in moments
of complete futility, like that needle searching for
purpose without a sharp point.

But as I dream of a life beyond my reach,
I cannot ignore the fact that I am not the main character.
I feel like that needle hidden in a haystack,
trying to find itself; a strong desire to find out
who I really am.

Strike a chord with this smoke, playing addiction
in a thin tune- call for a rematch; as the fire that
escapes my lungs are many exorcisms: buy me
a healing patch

Years afterwards; my voice thins out with time
like there’s helium in the air- all of the warning
signs written on the box; the very first few puffs
were a sign: a youngling’s toughen coughs

Inherit the habits of man’s old habits- the coal
miners who must have breathed ashes; those we
were quick to call a bunch of dumb *****- now
we’re the ones lost in the ashes of their past

Chimney throats; the tiny stick we all thought
would paint us boys into tomorrow’s men- then again,
not much of us will be old enough to see a tomorrow
by this cancer stick’s end. Oh, what a shame

The suffering rest
Too tired of themselves;
An attire of youthfulness
Clueless, individually in a single line
The good and the often bad
Ugly smiles of the richest people
And the expenses of a poverty lifestyle

Butchered words every time two lovers meet
Lost tongues in pointless over talk; kissing
A feeling is always missing, in between inhale
Exhale the distrust of knowing it won't last
The slowest rushes end off so fast

Fasten your heart around a sleeve
Arm your eyes to their usual war
Pleasures of sight will all **** a man
Tickles of speach blinders to woman's focus
Two of which know it's wrong, but want more and more

Drowning always in debt
Believing you owe the world something
An address to a particular subject,—we're all ode
Owed a reason to all our failures
Questions to all unanswered prayers
Heaven owes a lot in the cryptic lyrics of life

But for the moment, this is life in a nutshell
Trying all to bust a nut, sometimes nuts
And one day it will all crack open in the end

Hello
Haven't spoken in a while,
Tried to give you most of my time.
Could I get but a smile,
What you call yours was all mine.

Hello
Looking for a glass of water,
At the corners of my heart by the border
My life's a messy dream. All out of order.

Hello.
I know I'm not the best at times
I'm just too stressed sometimes.
This glass was my fellow.

Hello.
You ignored my text on the phone,
I don't want to die alone
Blew out my birthday candles all on my own.
Hello.

Hello.


Hello.

Ooooooo,

I tried to hold you just a little bit closer,
But just in that embrace I was open to your bitter exposure.

To cross the depths,
Of my past steps,
A whole lot of regrets.

It's a mess, looking for a female,
For my lonely house retail.
My heart gives her the detail.

To lose my thoughts in the crazy mess,
Really I'm too **** depressed.

Go through stories of my life, just flip through every single page,
In a small box of my dreams trying to see the bigger range.
But it's a trap, I don't know much cause you used to be my sage.

Caught in the wind, blowing my troubles every single day,
To tear down your walls if you try to get, right up in my way.

Caution to trouble but I ran into danger.
Glad that we met but you act just like a stranger,

It's not your fault, cause I let you in & said  it was okay,
You want somemore but I'm sorry not for you. Not even today.

Cause I took you just for pleasure.
Only in times of leisure.
Last drink I took was by Christmas's December.

You probably think you left my whole life pretty shattered.
But now I realize you never did matter.

Oooooo,

Hello,
You were just a lonely bitter drink,
Used you only to help me think.
You were gone in just a blink
And your after taste just really had a stink.
And I would never look your way or give your eye my wink.

Hello,
Haven't spoken in a while,
I drank your body for a smile,
But left my mind before you said goodbye.
I never asked you why.

Hello

In the sculpture of time, as the days unfold like petals, the blades of grass sway gently in the passing wind, their whispers a soft melody that tickles the senses. As an observer of this magnificent tapestry, I find comfort in the depths of my being. With each blink of my eyes, I delve into the reflective ponds, exploring the profound recesses of my mind.

This existence, though sometimes shallow, is merely a vessel compared to the limitless nature of my soul. It knows no boundaries, no defined shape or weight. It is an essence that extends far beyond the limitations of this mortal body.

Yet, here I stand, firmly rooted in the present moment. Today, a precious gift intricately wrapped with lessons from the past, awaits me like a beautifully adorned box beneath a Christmas tree. As I carefully place it there, I can't help but hope that my future self will be filled with the same anticipation and excitement to unwrap this precious gift on that joyous day in the future. And regardless of the size of the box, I know that its contents hold immeasurable value and significance.

Wild at heart, pretty woman at it's will to tame.
Don't take that to shame,
But perhaps taking from this conversation your name.

Turned the age of eighteen once before thinking I'm the man,
Looking for a piece of love from a girl who's just a fan.

Turned the age of nineteen thinking I grew a little wiser.
But the time had my eye to deceive. Life can be a liar.

Now at twenty waiting for wisdom to reach my feet
Hoping wise not to have those similar mistakes on repeat.

So perhaps as I speak to you, think me childish
Like living on a life of latest fashion trends to seem stylish.

But right now it's my coming of age,
Growing to be the man I am.
Starting my own life story on a fresh page,
Coming to be a True man.

Wasn't a crime of love, a custom feeling holding two places wasn't enough.
Growing tired and weary, losing hope in you dearly.
Upon a hungry heart going into starve,
as the closest meal isn't as close nearly.

A short verse grows colder than a body in a herse,
a swearing word raises concerns, and upon a curse.
And it's a familiar time I act the worse.

A haunting whisper,  turns my heart anew in a new year,
So saying goodbye to the old feels so weird,
but still wish I never knew you.
And time has past from a white hair in my beard.

So a custom please to myself, and the unhappiness towards my wealth and health.

Darling of most.
Do you hear an awaking, a world unlike we know.
Open your heart widely for Heaven's knocking at your Door.

Heaven's moving mountains. Where's your place.
Stars charting a course. Lord where is our space.

Words of unjust, days of doing wrong.
Hearts a mess, feels hard to sing a song.

Truly tired of most. Lost track of feet.
Pain be our memory, soon to forget. Shed tears closer to your seat.

Glance Sunrises darling, rising in the North. A setting of your Heart.
  Dawns of He painting days of life. Be the works of True Art.

Trumpets & loud Drums blaring through the air.
Heart of you and I a complimenting song. Lord you move, we'll be meeting you there.

Darling of most.
We all be crying,
Constantly be of lying.
Do my best of always trying.

Darling, you know of man trying to do everything on his own.

But can't be the type of being that perfect
Put him in the center of it all, you & I could find it worth it.

Darling of most,
The Heaven's doing wondrous things. Dawn of Love.
Seek hope in my eye, follow directions looking to He above.

Dawn of Love. Wake to it every morning.
Best chapters of my life, of such Love story.
Do it all of most under His Glory.

Tears running down my face, chasing after the emotions it has to
express – while the flowers rest upon the gravestone of my heart;
I am a heavy sigh, the trembling echoes of regret; still, leave me a
love that I can never forget. As the stench of the night lingers beneath
the phases of the moon, I carry these different faces, depending on
my everchanging mood. And as dreams are summarized under your closed eyes – witnessing those visions come to life, feels like a
blessing in disguise.

There will always be those who care for us, as we’re surrounded by
those who stand around us with different shades of their masks.
Must I be aware of every whisper that tarnishes my name; the ill
spoken against me– for such knowledge breeds a sickness; for even
as pride reveals a man’s vulnerability, the desperate need to validate
oneself, shatters them to hopelessly try and find those fulfilling
pieces.

All the greatness of tomorrow lies in songs yet unwritten; as we
navigate a life of enforced discipline for life is beaten. For mercy
won’t exist unless we give it a reason to live. The love you hope to
receive is also the love you're willing to give. And how long, and
how we'll live, rests on all He permits.

The end of this Untitled Piece.

I am a journey

Lost in the many words,
thoughts, and scribbles of poems
A poet unheard in prose
of this continuous story
For everyday is but a breath for
a flip of another page

A strike of words of the lightening
in my pen
Echoes of pain after the rain
—my tears are unseen in physical
But just the oceans of myself
written in ink

My skin is just the camouflage I
have to hide my life tragedy
My eyes the thin glass cracked by
all the hardships I've seen
My lips the applauds of the sounds
of self-encouragement I must tell
myself

My smile the minor blessing
of a heavenly joy;
and it's heart burning of unfit desire
as hot as hell

And I burn in this beautiful internal
eternal flame as a flower
But unfortunately they'll only see me
for only smoke

Open up your eyes and let the light pierce through,
casting away the darkness that clouds your vision
like a waterfall's cascade.

Take a deep look into the depths of my eyes; there,
you will witness the aftermath of my chaotic existence.
I have been smoking and screaming with such intensity
that my lungs ache, and the worn floors beneath me have become unwitting ashtrays.

So, I implore you, pry open those sealed caskets that hold your desires and dive headfirst into the realm of indebtedness.
Some seek solace in the grace of old friendships
and ask for new favors, for I, in turn, will search for a woman with captivating eyes and a well-endowed chest,
someone whose presence allows me to maintain focus
on four things at once, even after removing my glasses.

No underwear
so unaware, of what you prefer
to not actually wear'

Anyway, tell me about you day,
whining about people, while winding down
Wearing so many rushing thoughts like a crown
swore to Christ in a piercing tone, with a piercing on your tongue
As it was the only type of steel that stole my heart in a kiss'
felt so close to those red fiery lips
I kissed a burning sensation of passion; yelling out
"I've really missed you"

And so I kissed you
likewise to it always feeling like our very first
A nervous flirt who could never state his words
In a state of always being too shy to talk to girls
but at the first sight of you' I noticed your worth
In those pretty eyes made of pearls'

As we address all the events
******* ourselves
You and I firstly sleeping together'
then after we find our rest

                                       Goodnight!

Invisible crosses,
crossing out the days I
had no faith
As if monsters don't already
live in my head,- making me question
if I'll ever be heading in the right direction
From feeling like a dusty old Bible,
unattended to, and in servitude to to
most of my unclaimed confessions.

Could have been close to the ties
of me looking for change from the tithes
But I'll live a quarter of a mile, on
a quarter of my minds tank
I'm a bit too tanked to give anymore thanks,
any more funks, to dance around an n for
the wrong spelling of empty, and make
out as something you should c,- I have no ***** to give.

We eagerly await the faint whispers;
an anticipated breath, and mere hint of your desire.
The echoes of passion reverberate in my ears,
as hearts yearn to break free from their confines.
How could I ever forget the way you adorn yourself,
that dress that sends my eyes rolling back in ecstasy,
just at the thought of you behind me.

Beginning with a few words,
I surrender myself to the pleasure of your touch.
My jeans constrict me, a physical reminder
of the intensity building within me.
My eyes, like flickering candles, chase the
sensation of our skin igniting.
The tension in the air becomes palpable, and
my smile retreats into itself as you kneel before me.
A gentle bite, a tantalizing lick, and squeeze
- my pleas become nothing more than fuel for your insatiable
desire to continue.

From the anticipation that hangs heavy in the air,
to tears that well in my eyes, everything becomes drenched
before we even reach the depths of our passion.
I dive in with a breaststroke, my teeth sinking into your chest,
eliciting your favorite reaction.
Our tongues dance, speaking a language only we understand
- the language of love, of desire, of surrender, and French.
As we moisten our lips with a hint of saliva,
my attempts to speak are futile, for words cannot capture
the intensity of our connection.

I refuse to release my grip on you,
for once I have you in my clutches,
nothing can tear me away from your intoxicating presence.
Silence your phone, let the fragrance envelop your neck,
as I search for the sweet nectar that awaits me on the tips of my fingers.

One, two, or perhaps three this time?
The possibilities are endless, as we lose ourselves
in the intoxicating symphony of our desires.

As the curtains draw to a close,
it's always best to mind your manners,
Clear your throat before you start
to cough and cause a stir.
But if clearing your throat was
a punishable offense,
You might as well brighten up
the room with a warm smile.

Violets and roses,
not a picture perfect Love scene

Like Valentine's Day.
Movies scene fake,
so less important compared to a dream.
But the kisses
are tender much,
Even before our lips touch.

Love,
is an essence I can't get enough of
So if to starve from it
means I'm surely hungry for love.
A couple tattoo kisses
stay stuck on my flesh, deep down to bone
Of the Mrs,
memories drawn, but hurt me crazy like a thorn

Rose,
sharp are her words, and her body
A often ***** thought in my mind.
I should clear that room,
dust it a few, but I'm still enjoying the view.
I could go blind,
but stay having imaginations vivid of you.

X and O's,
once for crossing my mind
And O,
how I tell you that I don't mind.
One on the heart,
and two for the hole it has.
X right on the spot,
and O, am I not so glad.
For an XO,
written by my heart
Carried by my soul,
so many colours of you to pick from
Babe you're like a personal kaleidoscope.

Penny for a thought, penny for the waves of emotions to buy a new boat.

Down goes another relationship, another relationship going down,
once was a dime, a vessel better known for it's time.
But all aboard the ship, another relationship going down.

Pennys and Ships,
Vessels of giving girls a tip.
Swallowed down through the sea's lips,
lost at sea in pieces of silver ships.

I heard the fury of nature
as the bee that stung
my earlobe
The thunder rolling like a
stone rolling down the mountain
I was told to drink the tears of angels
in these heavens fountain
then bathed in Spirit
to be drowning

I had loved; to the increase of
the foundation under feet
with the more yet to be found
Oh the heart is so wicked
as I spend it all on every weekend

She knows me not of my vices
in the music advice of my
long dead idols
I fair any better in the lessons
of nature, death & time

As nature is pure, death is a given
and time is strange

And you'd ask me if I see
myself in that mirror

—no,
I see only what a world has done
has labelled me, called me, rated me
expected of me, thought less of me

...unfortunately for both,
                     it's not me!

I've seen the Devil in their eyes,
and look to Heaven in the skies.
There's a lot of evil in the world,
but free are the chosen.
When it falls down,
just know we'll be soaring.
Though it feels like you're falling,
as the dark tries to steal what is glowing
For the chosen will be rising in the morning.

I’m in a drought for time— yet flooded with ideas.
as the sun rises with the dust, and by dusk, all hope
feels spent, or quietly scattered.

I know destiny calls— even without a map, signal
or a location marked. "Yeah, I don’t know what
I’m doing," I often confess, in quotation marks—
still walking toward the shape of who I’m meant
to become.

Pushing through bruises and bitter slights—real joy
flickers, but most smiles still feel perfectly rehearsed.
To stay above the arrows, but never ahead of myself—
sharp enough, still, to pierce through the soft fabric
of my many, many daily doubts. And I’m learning:
sometimes the cage has no door— but only the illusion
of one, built from fear.

There’s always a world just outside of it— waiting.
We’re all just finding ourselves day by day.
And life? It’s one day after another— until, finally,
you recognize the person you've been becoming
all along.

Amounts of time given to people
should be equally given back,
Time is fragile like glass
you can lose fragments of seconds.

Love is a gift
more worthy in the present
The moments you have now
could be the very last.

A second to breathe
is a display of your life's capacity
Now,
is the time you make the most of
Later,
is always unpredictable.

All seem lost,
with age we find ourselves
Identity,
builds on self discovery
The journey of life all must take.

You'll lose more than you gain,
hurt plenty more
Than you usually heal
But for all purposes,
we live a life that breaks us
And constantly build overselves much stronger.

Be as it may,
the handbook of life would simply say
Make the most of each and every day.

So many lonely moments; as when the winds are blowing'
Just to capture a moment,  longing to see you again in focus
Dancing around corners, hoping you still miss me even
when I'm around

Cos I already miss me, knowing later on you have to be gone
Leaving empty songs in a guitar case;' chords I've played in
keys to unlock your heart

But I must have forget; to tie myself down, still thoughts of you
Walk all over on my mind; constantly in and out
all before I could even tie the knot

And am I love; yes indeed- by all of these stories in my head
Still searching for a love not yet found

                          Searching, searching, still searching...

How do our lips
closely rhyme with kiss,

In between a tongue with a hiss,
to submit so foolishly to this bliss

Ignorance as it is;
equally split in those slithering words
mixed with both our spit

All those beautiful wet lies, a crime we love
to speak in a stolen kiss

Food for thought,
the harsh truth is the hardest to digest

There’s a parachute stitched into my eyes— soft silk holding
nothing, as I watch myself freefalling into an empty space
The ringing words of love still call, like fading prayers –
as the voices of lovers trying to reconnect.

But I never was good at playing my heart. But aren’t you
expecting me to stay in character? To wear the lines you
wrote for me, in the means of keeping up this fantasy of love.
My smiles are scripted; as everyone else is helping to create
such a picture frame. The world helps paint our picture from
all the wildest of conversations; but the more they run out of
your mouth, the more they seem to taste so tame.

These tired eyes have searched in your eyes for a reflection
I can truly bend– so is the baggage claim of my baggy eyes;
visioning our broken pieces coming together to hopefully
mend.

I was your background character, your silent NPC in a game
you never knew I played, the first time. But when I stopped
watching, when I stopped turning toward you with secret
obsession – you started to feel the crush of my own crush.
Now you chase the echo of something that once held you
true—that hidden crush, that tender view, searching. But love,
my dear, truly YOU, should see how love is so **** blind.

Put a bit of myself in these words.
Crazy thoughts flying in the air with the birds.

Hate this crazy dream I sleep in.
Someone else take the pain for your own keeping.

What is existence,
Heart fights the resistance.
Resistant to the acids plaguing my mind to be stable,
Flipping my mind channels through each cable.

& I'm not too able,
To be the space to fill your entire table,
I'm unable.
Mind's disabled.

I hear whispers in my sleep,
The Demon feasting on my dreams. He's getting into deep.
& in case you wondered why I'm a bit on the edge
I fear of doing wrong, my friends make of me Dead.

Who did the killing, I held the knife.
I slit my throat to take my life.
Bled on the sheets to leave a stain.
A strong acid I wish to take, to **** the pain.
I'm really insane.

My mind's picture is of  washed  up colours.
Eyes see girls as any I could easily pick as pretty enough flowers.
A coward when looking into the mirror.
I could fall to the type looking for help in a glass of beer.

It's a medical,
Drinking it well on the regular.

It's a bitter taste that burns my tongue.
If I go drunk tonight, hope I don't do you any harm.

Follow your formation,
On the acid.
Mind vacation.

In the realm beyond,
We shall discover a clearer reflection of our true selves,
Where every transgression will be laid bare,
Patiently awaiting our admission.

It was the odd hours of a night when the phone rang with an awaited call.
I honestly thought I ran out of ways to love, thought I did it all.
Surely it was that odd point of time.
O'how my desires of holding you tightly were so real. Darling be Mine.

The stars lit up the dark skys and I mistook them to light up your beautiful face.
The phone rang and I immediately knew it was you. I held it with full embrace.
Once that sweet voice spoke, my heart's rythme escalated quickly to a new beat,
O'how that felt so taunting to me,  you had my love for you run down from the tip of my head down to my feet.

And I don't dream to change what has become to be,
Though there were many out there to be found by you, you found me.
After that I was granted the opportunity to fall deep in love with you till I reached the deeps of the Pacific Ocean.
Though I was not born to dance, my heart moved to your movement and every motion.

Love can't be measured by the ends of the short based millimetre ruler.
For that could only be an atom of that measurement. Yet to fill an endless jug, to make it fuller.

And you fill me up with something else, I fully not yet understand,
Still it matters not to me, for that one phone call is all I needed , all that I really had.

Let it ring a thousand times more.
Ring, ring, ring.

Your heart in my hand,
just for some love to hold onto
Buying into so many dreams before,
something I could never amount to
Feelings that are read in the shades of red;
are all the wonderful stories I heard about you
How do I feel so endlessly lost for words,
now that I found you-
The simple answer:

           "I love you"

I've been crying my eyes shut,
i could barely see the world,
-failing to see myself in a mirror
reflecting on how my fragile state is
made of glass.

I tried to be ahead of myself,
but wasn't on top of a lot of things,
so i behead myself, just to cut off old thoughts
and i could have sold my soul, but i tend to
sell myself short; as i can no longer pour
out my feelings,- i guess i'm too poor.

I hope I at least pass through people's thoughts,
but i know i'm a bit too passive, and make
passes on all of my best quotes
and i'm always stuck in one particular
moment,  like an old photo.

I tried to sleep with my thoughts,
but i've got a restless kind of mind
waking up to the days, of another sleepless night
nowadays when i pray less, cry less
and don't seem to care about my midlife faith crisis
when i'm doing things that make me seem Christless
still i wouldn't advise this.

I know my attitude don't always match
my soul's latitude; especially when
everything in my life goes south
as the magnitude of my worth, puts me
in a foul mood,- i played a foul move
flying my cold heart away from winter,
but still had a fowl kind of love.

I haven't been to church in a while,
telling myself, "I'll be there Sunday"
But I misheard myself, he was really
saying, "someday, someday"
Work always calls me in, before Mondays,
and Mondays are so mundane
every feels the same, the same; please can
i feel something, something, someday.

O'father, o'dearest father in heaven, hear me now,
It's your son, you know your son you love, place my feet to the Ground, my knees fall to bow.

Let me tell you of what's been going on,
I woke up today to another beautiful day and had more words to use to carry me a long.
Now I made it here, don't really know the name,
But let's call it home, home sweet home, blessed floors and walls in this place since the day you came.
Nothing new to report back, or I'm just losing my words when I'm talking to you,
Funny I planned this entire conversation in my head, now all I got to ask is, why is the sky so blue.

Wait a second, pause a moment, okay I found my words,
I want to thank you for, well everything really, everything even those annoying noisy birds.
Today was another but a different day from the one before,
So I found some more love today my spirit is almost full, but Father God can I have a little more.

And I wonder what your response would be right now.
Probably my son, you put a smile on my face even though you cannot see it but it's there somehow.
I'm so proud of you, what a wonderful being I made,
From your mothers womb I place you there, and my son died for your sins, now your debt is paid.

Maybe you would say something along those lines right?
Yes, no, maybe, it's okay I'm just glad you made that sun shine so bright.
Well a little too bright,
Just being honest here but that's okay it's still alright.
So let me get back to what you need me to do,
Don't miss me too much I'll be back soon, and Father God I love You.

Summarised tone of speech – let me imagine
the heat of your touch like a fine cigarette;
Your picture in my mind is such a drag.

Open ears to your deceptive voice, callous lines
of ******* in your words; so pure in white lies.
To my tough skin, your deceptive voice will
touch me – not in softness, but piercing into my
Conscience; knowing that even the prettiest looking
flowers aren’t the bunch of friends to hangout with.

Liars have the sweetest smiles, the sourest kisses
after the impression of their love wears off –
Like chewing gum, sweet at the start, until that
taste of nothing chews you up.

From the liar's mouth is the war with themselves,
battling with which lie they’ll use this day.
Telling you that they care so much for you -
liars are the sweetest.

In a dark night
I built myself a black coffin,
to bury all my fears
With a couple dark thoughts
and some black tears.

As is my old self,
buried away underneath the past
Ten feet,
stepping away from the before
Descending,
going to be part of the Earth
Apart from me,
I could never bury away self worth.

Even being stuck in a hole,
won't grantee one to be as open
As a whole,
entirely sure I have pieces left of my soul

In my hollow depression,
fear was a chain of thoughts
Keeping me in captivity,
so to free my mind
A piece of me had to die
Buried alive.

Like my deep thoughts,
I had dig myself into a deep hole.

Buried alive,
the old sinks beneath me
The new me has will to survive.
Buried alive,
digging away pieces
As does our past selves decay.

What's of the dark
goes back to those origins
And of every one of our mistakes,
fears, regrets and all
They go beneath us,
and we will surely rise above them all.

Profoundly, I honestly  should be flipping through the pages of The Bible.
But I think I've been the good Christian today.
Oh wow, I'm in such denial.

My religious beliefs were something I learnt inside a building on a particular Day.
What was constantly burned into my mind was, "Jesus is the Truth, light and The Way"

So what is my way to success without the shortcut through life
Told that the future is praying now in the present for my future wife.

But I'm trying my best to find some strength to remain in prayer
But my world is burning down in front of my eyes
Our misdeeds and evil actions the flames layer.

See I belief in a Lord but I hate how I can't stay that long on the belief
For it was hardest for me to accept an invisible entity to help being my relief.

My religious beliefs sometimes clouds my judgement
And through storms of life I find it that hard to sing out to Him the loudest.

For sometimes it's like you left me in alone the wake
Adding to the fact the world tries to prove you real or fake?

We haven't met in person, so if I die don't disappoint me in death
For I'm pulling out on my Faith by a slim stretch.

Now everything feels like a mile
From a long way before seeing Christians hiding themselves behind a Sunday smile.

But are we still on that course we've travelled
Acting though we have all things in check but we won't like the day it comes to be unravelled.

I'd hate to be part of the bunch
But as the days are growing with me and time, it feels to be coming that such.

Would those with such strong religious beliefs look at the broken Christian the same
Or would such people spit rivers every time they'll speak his name.

For see my religious beliefs don't see me out when I fall to ground
When I say something out of the stereotype Christianity spectrum, I'm then kicked out of the crowd.

When the idea I've brought out is not making me feel that proud.

Now brought out of me is this youthful pride.
That large ego of a man I tried my best to hide.
Questioning between being ungrateful or thinking it's all me with the Lord behind.

Really I should pray a little more often
But I feel like chocking on the idea when saying the first words and it's all but coughing.

For when I want to ask the Lord for something I feel like acting so greedy.
Hey Lord how about a couple dollars for the hectic day. Don't see me acting so needy.

Such religious beliefs, thinking good deeds will get you an express pass into Heaven
But even thieves repenting on their last misdeeds will meet me there as my Brethren.

Perhaps the way to break free being caught in between the battles is breaking free from the Christian stereotype
For I'd rather try to be real to myself and people all around. Not hiding behind the hype.

I just want to live my life like I'm living out on worth.
To believe I'm not the waste of space in the world nor the waste of time from the first seconds from my birth.

For if I leave the earth in a moment where will I go
Though I'm told Heaven awaits me how do I truly know.

All I know is, holding onto this faith as all to hold,
To one day die on an age of very old
Making it to Heaven Gates in the Awe and wonder of it's Behold.

Speaking from my Religious Beliefs.

Timely been finding losing myself insanity, hunger for preys of love.
Cold winters came and I fell deep into the hunger as the lion in the moment of the hunt, forced to starve.

Timely tried to fit the right numbers for the price tag, changed some colours to fit the picture.
Spending empty riches, only if that could make me richer.
But, really fast cars and a couple bills would be nice to fill some empty pockets with a couple holes.
Speak loud to that, the greed consumed me, wrapped my up for seconds in tin foils.

Timely I've lost manner to a formal self,
Time felt irrelevant but still played a role in my health and wealth.
Sometimes it felt good to be just selfish,
Unfortunately I had to turn my back which left me helpless .

See it now but a little later.
Is there something worth more to be succeeding on out there.

Baby, your too good for me, can't you hear me crying, hear this man is crying,
Thinking I'm never too good for you, baby you know I'm not lying, no hint of lying.
And I'm dreaming so much of that body, how I need that body,
Getting lost in those thoughts, feeling naughty, so very naughty.

But you know I would instantly call this feeling you give some crazy voodoo magic ,some love potion magic,
But I really don't care, because I can't lose you, that would be tragic, so very tragic.
And my head is spinning all around, can hardly stand-up straight, failing just to stand-up straight,
But just know I want every inch of you, every piece and taste, a full plate, I just want the full plate.

May I love you now when I have all time, holding this very time,
Can I have you by my side, right by me are you mine, surely are you mine?
Knowing in my heart I'm so scared to lose a piece of you, just a piece you,
My heart would break, shattered into a thousand pieces, and I would be feeling blue, so very blue.

But the lord knows I'm a poet in love, so much in love,
Using my words on paper to compensate for the words in my mouth I've lost, flying away from me like a beautiful dove, such a beautiful dove.
And that beauty falls on you too, your so beautiful too,
Could get lost in that in that beauty, too late I'm far too gone staring at you, I was staring right at you.
Someone come rescue me she stole my heart, now where is my heart,
She has it now, please darling keep it safe, it's beats for you, that is it part, my heart's true part.

And my darling and baby I surely love you so, I love you so,
So when we see each
other once again, my love will be so much stronger, and I hope you know, darling all you need is to know.

Church bell ears;
I've heard the holy ring of an unwritten hymn in a minor key
Their piercing eyes, are bites of bullets, all pointed guns
as hands;  pointing out my immoral acts; three shots back
at them and one pointing up to discredit a God

A wrinkled heart,
by the irony of a preach; a church's lancet window,
Stained in sin of an unwritten scripture, and a scripted faith
On top of an unholy pedestal, all ready to cast their first stone,
alongside their own boulders of sin

Oh Lord, even if I don't believe in a God,
I'd believe in a better place than here
So my only prayer is being seen by your eyes,
as one saved from the desiring eye of the world


                                                   Amen.

My breath feels forced today,
almost as if the weight of the world is crushing
down on me, making it a struggle to inhale.

My tired heart beats with a heaviness that mirrors the
off-white shade of my worn-out Air Force 1 sneakers,
reflecting the wear and tear of my weary soul.
As I took a step into today, I found myself unable to walk,
feeling as though my feet were cemented to the ground,
paralyzed by the burdens of life.

And yet, despite the overwhelming challenges,
I hold onto the hope that even if I overstep my boundaries,
my worth as a person will not be diminished or erased.
My life, my soul, my spirit and very being are worth
more than any material possessions, including the worth
of my shoes.

Nowadays,
people are quick to;
throw hands,
or be under the sun
throwing shade,

                              What a shame