I have this small wound
It’on my left arm
Right above my hand
And it really makes me think
I think of all the things that can come from wounds
Like death
I’ve been thinking a lot about death
Because I don’t know where exactly we go
And it scares me
I end up thinking a whole through my brain
A wound in my head
Full of thoughts
“What will happen when I die?”
I just don’t know
And it hurts
Like a wound
Like a deep wound
Like a really painful wound
Of thoughts

You see a lot of girls talking about their insecurities
But hardly any boys speak about theirs
It’s like we’re simply not allowed
Like it’s a rule that you can’t be open about your feelings
Well I am
I’m one of the few boys who are
I’m comfortable enough to talk about my uncomfort
And there’s a lot of it
Some boys can relate to girl problems
I relate to them all
I bleed every month
I’m uncomfortable with a lot of my body
I feel feelings
Everyone feels feelings
Girls are encouraged to talk about them
But what about us boys?
Can’t we be sensitive?
Because some boys are insecure
And we need to express it

I feel gross.

8 o’clock A.M.
I wake up
I stay in bed
“6 more hours.”
I sleep for 6 more hours
I wake up again

2 o’clock P.M.
Finally time to drag myself out of bed
I sit up
I fall back
Nauseated again
I lay down and stare at the wall
I’ve become accustomed to staring at that wall
I think of all the things I should be doing right now
Something productive
Not sleeping
I feel it again
Good ole’ gender dysphoria
I sob for two more hours
All while feeling nauseated

4 o’clock P.M.
I try not to throw up
It’s my worst nightmare
The weird thing is
That everyday I feel nauseated
But I never get sick
And I never feel better either
I try to sleep it off for a few more hours
This is the fourth day in a row that I’ve skipped breakfast and lunch
Not on purpose
I just forgot to feel hungry
It was covered by all the sick feelings

8 o’clock P.M.
I wake up
I eat dinner
I go to bed
I can’t sleep
I stay awake until 7 A.M.
I finally sleep for an hour
I wake up
Do it all over again

8 o’clock A.M

I’M FEELING IT AGAIN.

ALL THE ******* NAUSEA

Do ya ever feel that way?

You probably have a few times in your life.

But have ya ever felt it CONSTANTLY?

Every.
Single.
*******.
Day.
I feel it.

Sometimes it’s for a few hours.

But a lot of the time, it’s all **** day.

ALL **** DAY.

I’m so uncomfortable all the time.

Because of NAUSEA.

******* NAUSEA.

Forgive me for being a little bitter.

I’m just a little<a lot>nauseated.

You are better than me
in more ways than one

You are beautiful
without even trying

You are funnier than me
So many people like you

You are more talented than me
There’s literally nothing I’m good at

Well

Other than tearing myself down
And hating everything about me

While your only worries are if
Your eye makeup will match your outfit