In my sleep, your name I mutter
I wonder still, how you made it flutter
I refuse to acknowledge it
For I know it'll whisper to me my defeat
My heart doesn't believe
What my eyes perceive
I know your hidden shenanigans
I know your every move
But I let my guard down every now and then
Wishing I never knew how you work
Wishing I never knew how you think
Wishing I could just enjoy the feeling you're making me feel
But I knew, you'll be the source of my heart break
It was my second losing streak
As you left me with a teriffying stare
It was so far my worst nightmare

I know it's hard to touch the clouds
when memories
hold you down
I know you cry a lot inside
when no one is
around
I know it is hard to wake up
sometimes
when breathing cuts so deep.

and the birds, they sing
but
you cannot hear
and the sun, it shines
but
you cannot see
and there's a lot of warmth around
but
you cannot feel.

I know it feels so hard
to live
with so many scars

but

light will shine and you will
see
and birds will sing and
you will hear

It's just a dark path
you have to walk
and I will be there
to walk along
don't hold your breath
don't give up yet
just
keep your hope
and you'll find one day
that you can fly again
for you deserve
the highest clouds
the purest air
the deepest love.

and I'll be here for you,
you, dear soul,
the sweetest lyric
of them all.

i've written sixty eight poems
on adderall in an hour and all of them
are living up and getting married
having kids and taking three week
vacations in the carribean
living fulfilled lives under no control

healthy, fruit dripping naturally
even when things go wrong
they sleep soundly.
i am distracted by how perfect they are
and admire them with jealousy
when i should be asleep

U wonder
In this night
What u doing
Thinking if me
I wish

Take me now, I am yours forever
I am your slave, your faithful lover.

Take me, feel me, I am bold, I dare
Use me, break, I don't really care.

You want my whole life? Come on, get it.
You want to tie me? My hand, take it.

There's no new things in us now, I swear
From the start, I am your minion, dear.

Take me now, I am yours forever
I am your slave, your faithful lover.

I am so blind and deaf with my love
For you, I'll kiss death. Come take  my life.

Gimme tips on how to be a dummy
Because I really want to be funny
I wanna hear their endless laughs
And praise me then gimme thousand claps
But I end up being mainstream
Cant make a joke with a yummy cream
I cant satisfy their funny bones
So i'll just eat lots of ice cream cones

Every fear is fear from getting hurt.

We fear to love, afraid of rejection and getting hurt.
We fear height because we're afraid of falling and getting hurt.
We fear darkness because of what's probably in there that might hurt us.
We fear certain insects or animals because they might bite and hurt us.

We fear fears because we fear from getting hurt.

I'm afraid of losing my parents.
I'm afraid of death.
Never finding the "right one" is a fear.
Not being financially stable is a fear.
Never being genuinely happy brings me fear.

However,  my greatest fear is not being great; not being successful.