Having a crush is like being in the Summer Rain
It's hot outside and you feel no pain
And the ice cream in your hand taste so good
And all the innocent children are riding their bikes down your hood
Laughter fills your lane
And you feel so tamed
The sun shines on you
The sun shines on him
You both smile
With the silent agreement that you feel some chemisty
(And that you want to make history together)  
No clouds
But you feel a sensation of rain
And a single drop appears
That smile fades (maybe he didn't feel the same)
But it still hot outside
Back turned, he runs for shelter
And you stand there in the middle of the pavement unable to move
And the rain pours down on you  
And streams of ice cream sinks through your fingers
But its still hot outside
And your heart which was once filled with so much joy
Is left wet even though its hot outside


- You end up watching something becoming nothing

One Winter's day the pain will fade
and letting go of you won't be so hard  
so I spend most of my time paining over scars
and bleeding hearts
and trying to live for the art.  
I drown in the sight of you
there's no way to look at you
different shades of blue covers the inside of me
with cold smoke particles glued – (to me)
producing what seems to be an endless sea of clear dew.    
As the snow falls to the ground
white nothingness fill my eyes
and all the window have been opened, and everything falls upside down.
The dying little flowers sprouting out of the snow has been placed in a place I use to call the sky
It's not too warm or too cold I need close my mind even if it’s for a little while.  
You You You You running through my empty head
No words or songs or judgements or thoughts just -You
I need to tip a whole tin of paint over me

Because me and you are through.

Pale mist echoes silently
So still...
It’s this us?
Because we're nothing
Can the air decay?
Because I want us to die
Us to
vanish during the night.  
Can the air please decay?
and make my infatuation rot and let the black flies fly around me
A least it would make something real
Which is the thing I desire the most.  
Me begging on my fragile knees
Please make the air decay
Because living in this world of wonder is causing too much pain to bare.  

-We were never a thing (we never had a chance because I killed us by having no confession and you killed me by not noticing my loving gaze)

His name, his name has been written inside of me as if my body was paper
It's as if each letter has been carved on my naked heart (and I can't escape it)
And it hurts painfully, my eyes are getting wetter
And I can't face this weather
(tear drop rain and love heart clouds).

And his little stabbing words haunt me like
the ghosts of future memories
(The ones that will never take place)
They sing stupid stick lullabies
where the sounds of your voice feels like
something I will learn to miss.  

Due to the sight of him, he makes me casually swim in His Ocean
I would cry for his affections
I would cry and cry until Our Oceans become
One
And every thought would be his and would be mine too.


Having a crush is like being in the Summer Rain.........  




(Being (or thinking you are) madly in love with someone is normal, it creates madness, but just be aware of it, because love that you desire awaits you, you just need to be patience) Being patience is a virtue.

I had a change of heart
I don't want to die with a bleeding heart
Or a messy mind containing dying flowers
and a cloudy fog.

I want love like Red Roses
Classic and Stunningly beautiful  

I crave for it like  
sugar to the mouth
leading to pleasure to the core
                   pleasure to the core

Blossom in front of me
and I will cry in awe
(just for you)

Let me touch the pretty Red Roses
to make my love true.





- Never question my true feelings for you.

Passively moving
Staring at my reflection through the window
The tree branches and the sky
Emerges as one.

Grey sunlight blurred the scenes
But I could still see
Myself clearly.

Admiring the bleakness of the day
I felt a soft sensation on the eyes or was it on the cheeks?
I thought I saw a teardrop stain on me
Almost seeing the wet shimmer, revealed by the light.

Blankly stared but was not scared
Of me myself and I.

My body, heart and soul faded into condensation
My insides crying.

I deepen my look; no water drops to be found
Just an expression of pure sadness  
Observing the world go by.

Tears flowing within
A Cold peacefulness overcomes me
I thought I was crying on the train.

But it was just my imagination at the end
This was the conclusion I made
As I arrive at my stop.