If this is a mistake
I'm not afraid of making it

I have never thanked you,
for the conversations.

I have never thanked you,
for the smile.

I have never thanked you,
for asking me how i'm really doing.

I have never thanked you,
for staying alive.

Thank you,
thank you.

just because the star-
fish can grow its arms back does
not mean it didn't hurt.
______________

even though scars heal
and wounds fade it doesn't mean I
will forget the pain.

There's no place to suffer,
no going away.
It's dark in here
all of my days.
No smiling lights,
no happy surprise.
Only this disguise,
of constant lies.
I know they bother them,
my sad eyes.
They can't bear to see,
they want me to hide.
Just stay empty inside,
so they won't feel down.
Still one by one,
they'll all turn around.
They won't ever stay,
or test their extent of pain.
They only obey
their impulse to stray far away.
They'll desert me to ache
in this dark hole they can’t take,
where I get no relief
not even in sleep.
So I guess save yourself
I’ll taint that light you keep.
I'll burden your soul,
til you can't take anymore.
Then I'll drain you dry
before I kiss you goodbye.
And you'll never know
when it's all done,
I'll still be empty
but you'll be gone.