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 Dec 2017 MeKenna
Brandi R Lowry
Saying goodbye
To someone you love
Is like reading the final page
Of an amazing book.

As the last chapter ends
You begin to notice
Just how beautiful
And perfect
The plot always was.  

You appreciate the joy
And even the pain
As you read and thumb
Through every page.

Finally understanding
The moral of the story,
You realize you've reached
The end of this journey.

Although the last sentence  
Is the most difficult to read
Another great book awaits
Once you turn the final page.

Eventually you may stumble
Upon yet another great find.
Or maybe you'll return
To the book you left behind.

You may just discover
Once all is said and done
That this particular book  
Was your favorite story
All along.
For Ty & Des ❤️
 Dec 2017 MeKenna
ephemeral
oh darling. you never really
wanted to die. you just wanted
to silence the voices in your head, and get rid of the hollowness in your chest. you wanted to **** all the pain you were enduring.
it's quite understandable- everyone understands what it's like to suffer (contrary to your belief,
you're not alone.
suffering is a basic part of human existence).
and sometimes, when you get to be in such a bad place, you're not able to remember anything else. all you can see, all you can think about, all you're surrounded by, is misery and sadness and heartache. and dying seems like the only way out of the endless cycle of negativity.
but emotions are a lot like energy- the kind you learn about science. feelings cannot be created nor destroyed,
only transferred.
so even if you finally gathered the courage to commit suicide, your sadness wouldn't disappear. you'd be passing it down to everyone that loved you, and sometimes even people you barely knew. everyone is affected in some way or another.
and while it seems like there are so many reasons to just die, there are
so many things to live for. the world is a beautiful place- humans just make everything complicated for no reason. but there are so many wondrous things that you have yet to experience. there's an entire universe out there- and if you killed yourself now, you'd never get to explore it.
losing you would not only mean losing your body, your soul, and your presence. it would mean losing all the hopes in dreams stored inside of you- both yours, and your parents' wishes for you. we'd be losing so much of the positive- you are not a negative. you have to understand that.
at least one person loves you, and to them, you're everything.
I need you to live, lovely. for me.
"before you **** yourself, just remember that there are places you have not been and things you have not seen. and poems to awe, art to draw, fields to walk through, people to talk to, music to take in, games to win, and books to be read. so why, oh why, do you wish to be dead?"
 Dec 2017 MeKenna
Robert Guerrero
I've walked the beaten path
Sinned in the ways of every religion
But the only salvation I'm looking for
Is in the smiles I'm able to place on your face
So when you read my text
Listen to the way I'm telling you I like you
Listen to the message in the complex smiles
The kissy faces
That seem to be endless
You can't call this puppy love
This is the way you were meant to be loved
So baby let me make you happy
I'm not asking for the physicality of a relationship
I'm asking to put this band on your finger
Look in the mirror
See my complete reflection
Because this mirror is your eyes
Baby let me make happy
There's nothing I'd rather do
Honestly you're on my mind
I've only talked to you on occasion
I don't don't want to send coded messages
In the texts that make you smile and want me
I want to tell you straight up
Baby I like you
I'm not innocent
I'm not expecting you to be
I'm just asking you to be mine
Let me make you happy the only way I know
Let me be the sculptor
Plaster smiles on your frowning face
Strip the clothes from your mannequin figure
Let me make you happy
In and out of the bed
I'm only asking for a chance
Baby let me make you happy
I promise you'll never be alone
Even if I'm seventeen hours away
My heart is in the pillow you hold tight
My cologne is in the sheets you wrap yourself in
You can even wear my clothes
Go insane and let me walk in
On you making out with a pillow dressed like me
I'll smile and I promise
I'll love you the way that pillow never could
Let me make you happy
The way the other guys failed to
When they ******* up the chance you blessed them with
I promise baby
I'll never hurt you
My shoes are in the closet
They're not going anywhere
My suitcases are unpacked and laying in the dump
Three states away
The distance you wanted in the first place
Between me and my second love
You know I had a tendency of packing up
Leaving in the middle of the night
When your slumbering hand wandered on my side of the bed
Looking for the warmth of my skin
But Baby I promise my walking days are over
My running shoes are too old
They don't fit anymore
Let me make you happy the way you deserve
I understand if you don't want to do it
I'm not going to cliche it up
I'm not going to beg
I'm just going to tell you
I like you
Ask you for only one thing in this relationship
Let me make you happy
It's not much but let me make it my sole purpose in life
I don't need a god or gods and goddesses
All I need is the heart in your chest
To be my altar
To be where I tithe my sins away
To give praise to the heart that saved me
Let me make you happy
I'm not a complete ****** like the rest of them
 Dec 2017 MeKenna
Ellie Shelley
Drugs feel decaf
popping pills
like candy
now I'm just getting a sugar rush
Downing six packs
that turn into twelve packs
that turn into an amount
That I refuse to count
You asked me why I started to like needles
and dear
Thats because I am afraid of them
I need a new tactic to build up a new rush
And phobias give me the pumping adrenaline I need
 Dec 2017 MeKenna
Odysseus
You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone forever.

Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. There are days when I can hear my bones straining under the weight of despair, this madness that erupts like an earthquake when I feel you lost. This heart dies a slow death, shedding each hope like leaves until there are none. It is a mortal danger, perhaps not to life in a strict sense but mortal still, for I know very well my soul would harden and never be the same if I lose you.

But think not for a minute this is despair's babble, even in my seldom moments of calm and lucidness and peace I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than ever mine or someone else's. I want to deserve you, for I have to love you E, I have to love you. It matters not this wound that burns like two, it matters not that I search for you and I do not find you, even as the nights go by and I do not have you.
 Dec 2017 MeKenna
Rumi
A lover asked his beloved,
Do you love yourself more
than you love me?



The beloved replied,
I have died to myself
and I live for you.



I’ve disappeared from myself
and my attributes.
I am present only for you.



I have forgotten all my learning,
but from knowing you
I have become a scholar.



I have lost all my strength,
but from your power
I am able.



If I love myself
I love you.
If I love you
I love myself.
 Dec 2017 MeKenna
Neo Madime
I still remember you
I lost you because non-commitment was all I could give.
Now I wake with my sheets soaked with the residue from my nightmares, suffocating me.

I long for those days when the sun was setting and hand in hand we'd sit, in silence.
You'd pull me closer to share your excitement with me; grab a fist full of my hair to allow you to enter into matrimony with my lips.

I long to have your presence next to me; to see the rise and fall of your chest reminding me that that is where my home is.
To have you wake me in the morning with your arms protectively caressing  me, rhythmically and suggestively moving along my body...
To have you send shivers down my spine with your hot breath as I feel you smile into my neck

I remember your lips became the metaphor for our young hasty affair:
your lips often grazing every crevice on my body, arousing feelings in me I never thought existed and exciting this dormant precious place between my thighs.

My thighs, which are now the empty hallways you used to roam with so much passion and ferocity used to release waterfalls that cascaded down in a pleasurable release,
long for one more body trembling exhilarating encounter.

But most of all I long to be loved again.
Some things are just forbidden
 Dec 2017 MeKenna
Alissa Rogers
The throbbing headache and nausea
I can endure; I've had worse.
Right now I could cry,
such a raw hope consumed me
as I thought about you, desperate.
It was still dark for me then,
when I needed you. Now it's day.
It brings a true smirk to my face
to know you are nothing more
than a night of binge drinking:
a foolish part of my youth,
a consequence of boredom.
I could not hold your liquor,
I vomited all that bile you said to me
in the hedges outside. Don't fret,
this is not a bad memory, in fact
you might never be a memory at all.
I am well. I will drink better and
far more dangerous poisons.
I am today, you are only last night.
 Dec 2017 MeKenna
oh me oh my
They ask me if I still love you.

I blush, grin and say;

of course.

Why?

Because your eyes are of the most utter ocean blue,

but other days they're the currents of the stormy grey sea.

I see a current of salty water, deep, once blue, but now a faded grey.

I see a bundle of darkened grey clouds in the distance,

and the thunder rumbles from your irises,

and I hear it pound in the back of my mind.

I wonder if you knew.

I see a spark of lightening flash, only once in a while,

while you look at her.

My throat corrodes with bile.


She says she sees green demons lurking in the depth of my own ocean currents,

and I shrug.

What am I supposed to say?

I know you think about her.

Night and day.


The hardest part,

is a generic, old saying.

If you love them,

you let them go.

If they love you enough to stay,

or to come back,

you never let go.





But you haven't come back.
EDIT: Wow. Never expected this to blow up as big as it did. I thank you all so much!
EDIT: 2/15/14
i would say i never loved you, but that is a lie.
they say that your *first* love makes *you realize*, your first *love* wasnt really your first.
i pray for the day this happens.
*getting over you was the best thing i ever did.
and i did it for myself.*
so, one last:
*******.
you.***
EDIT: 9/14/14
i still hate you.
and you don't deserve her.
EDIT:   12/01/14
im sorry. you still arent
the same person
and neither is she.
but we all grow up.

EDIT
10/14/20
I was going through my bookmarks
on my old computer and found my old writings.
I just wanted to update this one last time to say things are better,
things are good. Thanks again for all the likes and comments.
 Dec 2017 MeKenna
Oh No One
another
 Dec 2017 MeKenna
Oh No One
Here we go, another night tossing and turning in bed.
As always, my mind eventually drifts back to you.
The "what if's" and the "maybe's" start drifting through my head.
But then I inevitably realize that none of that's coming true.
I inevitably realize I had my chance, and now that chance is gone and dead.
I'll never get my chance again,
To be with the girl in my head.
I'll never get my chance again,
To make my dreams come true.
I'll never get my chance again,
To have a lonely little life for two.
Or at least I'll never get my chance again, to have a lonely little life with you.
I couldn't sleep
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