All this is flashy rhetoric about loving you.
I never had a selfless thought since I was born.
I am mercenary and self-seeking through and through:
I want God, you, all friends, merely to serve my turn.
Peace, re-assurance, pleasure, are the goals I seek,
I cannot crawl one inch outside my proper skin:
I talk of love --a scholar's parrot may talk Greek--
But, self-imprisoned, always end where I begin.
Only that now you have taught me (but how late) my lack.
I see the chasm. And everything you are was making
My heart into a bridge by which I might get back
From exile, and grow man. And now the bridge is breaking.
For this I bless you as the ruin falls. The pains
You give me are more precious than all other gains.
For months a stood at the edge of a cliff
Starring into your dreamy eyes feeling
Fulfilled. Happy. Complete.
I had found what appeared to be my soulmate. My everything.
During the storms, I stood by you, helped you through because i kept believing in my own Cinderella story.
One thing though...
I never saw it coming, hearing you say you're in love with someone else.
I refused to believe you because you kept holding on.
But my tear soaked pillow cases, utter a different sordid fairytale.
I never expected you to push me off, to watch me fall into a seemingly bottomless pit of heartbreak. Of sadness and disappointment.
In losing you I lost myself. My confidence. My will to carry on. My dreams which had somehow intertwined themselves with the idea of me and you.
With passing moment,
I only hope that in this beautiful ruin I have become,
I will rise again like the sun does; after the long dark cold days of winter.
I can only hope to shed myself of all these scars like the trees do at the dawn of autumn.
I can only hope for a constant experience of growth, of renewal of the rebirth of something extraordinarily beautiful.
I can only hope that like Spring, i can be free, I can blossom and stand once again against and among the elements and soar.
But most importantly, that like Summer, I can shine:
And once again believe in love
We are critical.
We find flaws in
everything we see
wants to write
even though sometimes
we wish we could just stay
staring into that
2. We are never satisfied.
We live our lives upon
bits of refill and
ideas we gave up
3. We never forget.
We write words about
eye contact made
three months ago
that we replay over
and over in our minds
even though it
4. We are fickle.**
Our emotions flash
to the other
like strobe lighting that
until we feel as if
will never be still.
5. We are exposed.
We don't know how
to keep our feelings
to ourselves so
we'll write them
you to find
6. We are vulnerable.
We wear our
hearts on our sleeves
and won't lift a
muscle to fight back
if somebody tries
to break it
because we thrive
from the pain.
7. We will never stop.
We will never stop
we will never stop
we will never stop
even though the cycle
and we know what's
We are addicted
but we agonise
for the art.
It's worth it though.
You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may **** me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history's shame
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
My heart can not lie and say your are the one.
But I can not seem to remember how I got to loving you.
So can we please start over ?
Can you romance me all over again so I can feel the moment I fell in love with you ?
Can you write me poems again so I remember the feeling of losing my breath at the emotions they brought ?
Will you whisper those sweet words that held together the shattering glass I had become and through their utterance I could feel your heart ?
Can those long late night conversations and phone calls come to life again ? Cause I miss the smile I held while falling asleep and the sense of hope and love you brought to my world of loneliness.
Don't misintepret me when I say it all seems to be a distant memory.
What I feel is real but
A point came in my life where detachment became a way to cope.
Even in loving you I was not really there.
Perhaps I was running away from the constant pang of unworthiness that my heart beat had become ? The skeletons which kept me up at night ?
Or just the mere fear of finding something so real because I tends to "exude the illusions of perfect, yet I fail to commit. I seem to ruin anything good going for me".
But give me a chance.
Can we start over cause my heart says you're the one.
Be mine perhaps ?