Colour Blind

I don't see the colour of your skin.

I see
the colour of your heart.

Is it dark and putrid or
is it the color of a soft and lilting tune?
Is it filled with warm tones,
or cold?
Hues of ice and snow,
or gold?

Do you give or take?
Do you love or hate?

I don't see race or faith,
I just see you-
your energy, your words, your actions.

I see you; I just simply
see you.

the house next door makes me
sad.
both man and wife rise early and
go to work.
they arrive home in early evening.
they have a young boy and a girl.
by 9 p.m. all the lights in the house
are out.
the next morning both man and
wife rise early again and go to
work.
they return in early evening.
By 9 p.m. all the lights are
out.

the house next door makes me
sad.
the people are nice people, I
like them.

but I feel them drowning.
and I can't save them.

they are surviving.
they are not
homeless.

but the price is
terrible.

sometimes during the day
I will look at the house
and the house will look at
me
and the house will
weep, yes, it does, I
feel it.

Relationships so misleading,

In this war of love, I'm retreating

Wounded by fatal bullets through the heart,

I've already lost too much blood for a new start.

Let me just lie here, Dying

Maybe someone will see me here, hurt,

Crying.

Solemn, blank faces all look down but then go past.

Fatality has come my way,

Unfortunately, but yet at last.

I wish everything was dfferent. That you had loved me and still did. That I didn't want to **** myself every second of the day. That my mother didn't say the wounding things she says. That my father had a backbone to tell her to stop. That you and I could talk. But everything in my life seems so...agonizingly hard.

“Everything is more complicated than you think. You only see a tenth of what is true. There are a million little strings attached to every choice you make; you can destroy your life every time you choose. But maybe you won't know for twenty years. And you'll never ever trace it to its source. And you only get one chance to play it out. Just try and figure out your own divorce. And they say there is no fate, but there is: it's what you create. Even though the world goes on for eons and eons, you are here for a fraction of a fraction of a second. Most of your time is spent being dead or not yet born. But while alive, you wait in vain, wasting years, for a phone call or a letter or a look from someone or something to make it all right. And it never comes or it seems to but doesn't really. And so you spend your time in vague regret or vaguer hope for something good to come along. Something to make you feel connected, to make you feel whole, to make you feel loved. And the truth is I feel so angry, and the truth is I feel so ******* sad, and the truth is I've felt so ******* hurt for so ******* long and for just as long I've been pretending I'm OK, just to get along, just for, I don't know why, maybe because no one wants to hear about my misery, because they have their own. Well, **** everybody. Amen.”
-Charlie Kaufman

I sat down in the night,  
Away from light,  
Away from sight,  
My battles I'm gonna fight,  

I taught of you, of me, of us ,
The pictures we took,  
The frames and  truss ,
One by one I look,  

The things you said,  
The things I told,  
Come hug me now,
Tonight I'm cold,  

Time does not pass by,  
Me and my soul together cry,  
My hearts asks me "why"?  
You loved me no more,  
To myself I can't lie......

Goodbye goodbye.

And I'm here
Sitting alone in this dark park
And the only thing on my mind
Is how sad I am,
So sad I can't even cry.
So sad I've become numb
So sad, I don't even know what's going on
And I'm sad, once again,
I'm depressed.