The color blue,
not just a random hue.
Blue begins the start of each day and continues through the night.  
Blue like the sadness you feel when your not feeling right.
Blue as the tears falling from your cheek when you start to overthink.
Blue like the deep waters; some will tread, others will sink.
Blue like the birds who flutter their wings high in the nest,
and stay snuggled under their mother’s breast.
Blue like the blood pulsing in your veins keeps your body living.
Blue like the color eyes you stare deep they just keep giving.  
Blue like the bluebelld growing in a patch,
just putting a smile on your face when you pass.
Blue like the hottest part of a flame from a fire,
never touch no matter how much you desire.
Blue like the flag that holds the white stars tight representing our freedom and our rights.
Blue like your fingers and toes getting frozen from the weather, making it hard to move
Blue like the moon that Elvis sang about and he swooned us, too.
Blue can be the faintest hue to the deepest hue.
Blue can always look so good on you,
no matter what your mood,
What’s not to love about the color blue?

What it feels like when I can’t breathe.
Like some thief just stole my joy,
Made me gasp for air.
It happens like this,
when I feel like no one cares.
Why am I like this?
So emotional,
Don’t they know it kills me,
to not be normal?
If I breathe in and out…
Like everyone else does.
Maybe I wouldn’t panic,
The endless teardrops barge past, my bloodshot, swollen eyes
Nothing about this is normal
But yet they criticize
Stop crying.
Just breathe.
There’s no need for tears.
It’s like being mocked has become my biggest fear.
It makes me feel insane.
And feel suffocated.
I know im not crazy,
I know im just different.
But for someone who suffers from, PTSD, there’s a big difference.
I have had my struggles and emotional trips. I have obsessive-compulsive thoughts that get stuck like a switch.
Some say it’s easy to handle
Just don’t think about it.
But once something is in my head, leaving doesn’t exist.
So if I’ve ever cared for you, you’re always in my head.
There’s no way for you to disappear even with a single med.
I just want to breathe normally.
I just want to be seen.
I just want to be okay.
I just want to be me.

Time checker  

I’m always a time checker,
Looking at my watch to see the time.

Questioning what’s coming up?
Looking always to see if im behind.

I hate to ever show up late to things,
But never like to be to early.

The countdown is always on ,
Waiting for the end of the day for me.

Always Checking how much time I have left before I go to sleep,
Until it’s time to wake.
So I can be awake and refreshed.

And take on another crazy day.
These crazy things I think about!
This silly thing called time.

Isn’t so silly when it goes to fast,
or seems to go to slow.
I hate spending so much time alone,

I love to be around the ones I love.
So maybe I can take a break from being a time checker and spend more time  just going with the flow.

Because there is one thing that’s for sure, time’s a precious thing,
So with me always checking time,
I’m just pushing away this beautiful life of mine.

Hanging in the gallery of my soul, decorating the walls. I’ve hung many canvases, some that you have never seen.

The wall behind me holds a portrait,  painted beautiful with hues of green and blue; this portrait shows things in life that have never been.

Next, you will see a canvas painted with a beautiful bouquet, showing all the things I’ve given away in life.

Look to your left—don’t turn too far, you might miss this tiny masterpiece that some call art. This tiny art piece shows the littlest kidney bean in the palm of my hand. What was once a dark spot on it, now removed, shows how much grace this little thing has produced.

As you walk by, you see a hanging, almost clear sheet; this is what it feels like when people look at me.

On the wall behind the sheet is a beautiful display showing many footprints of everyone who has walked in my life today.

In the corner, on a little shelf, a broken vessel sits. This vessel was put back together without its biggest piece. Though tattered and misshapen, this vessel still shows so much beauty.

On the biggest wall, by itself, you see a boldly shaped red heart painted so brightly; this piece shows how my heart feels when I am being loved just right.

So, as you have walked and wandered in this gallery of my soul, I hope you find comfort and know that not all of your precious art can be sold.

My lighthouse in storms
And times of life is you.

My lighthouse is my hope,
When things feel they may fall through.

My lighthouse guidance has helped, me endure the unthinkable
Helps me through times I need, healing and making sacrifices whenever able.

My lighthouse is such a guiding force,
Guiding me toward the correct turns, in the road to follow love’s course.

My lighthouse is stability, helping to steady me in its hold,
Never letting me go, a safe haven for me to live like gold.

My lighthouse guides me at night in my dreams,
Helping me follow all aspirations, always on my team.

My lighthouse is the light in my vision,
Helping to show clarity in all that’s been.

My lighthouse is my security always,
Keeping me safe and under a watchful light, in any unknown doorway.

My lighthouse stays ever steady in its love;
I’m always looking for its guiding light above.

Below the tresses of a beautiful golden flame, rests a heart of pure force.
A Leo, lion of the desert land, his loyal friendship, he has over his pride.

A lion's heart Is fierce and true, honest, and loyal through and through.
For everyone Leo claims within his pride, this devotion will not subside.

In life’s bright stage, Leo stands, as a  steady Sage.
Leo guards his pride with royal might, He’s  a beacon of light in the deepest night.

Through life’s trials, battles, joy, and fear, Leo’s heart beats for those he holds dear.
He’ll roar his loudest roar to protect and defend, a loyal lion to all his friends.