rest in peace to the teens
who wore long sleeves all year round
so no one would notice what they have done
rest in peace to the teens who drank and drank
to blur out someones name
rest in peace to the teens who just lit one too many
cigarettes just to fit in
rest in peace to the teens who couldn't make it to 2015

Here, in my darkest hour,
I've found you; a beautiful flower.
And everything I've been waiting for,
Turned out to be something much, much more.
There is no sun to shine,
Upon this beauty, of which I hope to call mine.
You light up, a burning ember,
And into your flame, I surrender.
I invite you in, arms held wide,
Because eternity begins, with you by my side.

Do not adore her because she will never believe you when you look into her eyes and say that she is beautiful.

Do not crave her because she will never trust you when you say that you feel forever in her touch.

Do not cherish her because the time you get to spend with her will never be enough.

But most of all, do not love her because she will never love you half as much as she hates herself.

You there 
Yes you 
You sit there so quiet 
Pretty blonde hair, green eyes 
You play with dolls you don't notice peoples size 
You see beauty and that's all 
You there 
Yes you 
You sit there so quiet 
Pretty dark blond hair, green eyes
You cry in front of the mirror because someone told you someone told you to hate your size
You see ugly and that's all
But wait  
You there 
Yes you 
Pretty red hair, green eyes 
You stay so quiet
You sit in the bathroom 
You play with razors because someone told you someone told you to hate yourself 
You see red and that's all
But wait 
You there 
Yes you pretty black hair, green eyes 
You still sit in silence 
You play in the bathroom 
You won't keep anything down
They taught you to keep up the hate
Hate yourself 
But wait 
You there 
Yes you 
Faded blonde hair, dull green eyes 
You will lay there screaming, *with no one hearing *
All you are is an empty shell 
They taught you hate and *now it's too much *
You'll lay in the hospital 
But It’s still to much
But wait
You there
Yes you
Hair freshly dyed blonde 
Eyes shut so tight
Ribbons over freshly cut wrists
Best dress on, white stained with red at the hips
You lay so quiet 
*Whispering your final goodnight

some days they are sad. sad about the weather, sad about the thing that happened last night, sad about losing their favorite book, sad about their coffee being cold, sad about the fact that they can't find matching socks. lots of things make them sad, lots of nothings make them sad too. you see, when you have a predisposition for being sad, every little thing counts.  so when you ask her why she is sad and she cannot answer, do not press further. do not go looking for a reason that just isn't there. when you ask what you can do and she says nothing, do not be hurt. do not feel useless. when she wakes in the middle of the night and she is silent, but you can feel the bed shaking as she cries, do not assume you know what she is feeling. you don't. hold her if she wants it, don't touch her if she doesn't. if you ask her if she wants you to stay and she says yes, do. but if she tells you to walk away, do not listen. stay with her, because if you don't, she might not be there in the morning .

from all the books i have read,
i have imagined my life to have much better storyline.

I realized...
I accept no love
Because I deserve **none.

These red lines cover my paper skin
____________________
­Like a pen dragged
___________________
­Over
___________________
­And Over
___________________
­And Over
___________________
­These red lines slice through my paper skin
___________________
­My pen breaks
___________________
­Red bleeds
__________________­
Covering the page
____________________
­Every night
___________________
­Over
___________________
­And Over
___________________
­And Over......
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