you are my sunrise,
peaks of gold coloring those liquid eyes
  burning fire caressing my pale skin
   a symphony of sensations that tease and amaze
    stealing away into a numbness that opens its maw to yawn
     leaving me stranded, panting, and even more in love.

i want to leave a flower on her grave
where the sun is drawn to, nourishing a life -
her beauty continuing on in a world that cannot stand another loss.

i want to sing her name into the wind
where it will whistle through the forest
and roll along the waves of the ocean -
her memory is no longer skin deep and she will become
... infinite.

i'm throwing in my flower petals
wind will carry luck until you are found in my meadows

we will lay in the grass, staring at the stars,
****** so that time will slow and we've lost the bars

i want you to speak to me in melodies and rhythms
the words flowing from your lips a beautiful lyricism

i try to bring myself peace
in the tall grass rippling like waves
a sea of greens, purples, and yellows
i dream that i am floating
running my hand along the bottom of the flat clouds
holding a ray of sunshine
like a warrior, conquering all the lands
until i've created a home among the wildflowers
somewhere for you and me to finally be
a slice of paradise in a very large world
where everything makes sense
and i don't feel quite so alone

mesmerized, i watched as the clouds ate up the horizon,
droplets of broken sunshine clinging to my lashes.
the stillness bringing the scent of promise,
a sort of freshness as the sky wept.

The words hang on in the still air, crooked and clumsy.
Face down I trace patterns into the mattress.
Focus, breathing in, breathing out.
If I tried to move, I would break apart.
Liquid in these lungs spilling out of this open mouth.
Weighed down, sinking deeper and deeper.
These swirls and lines lifting, floating, whirling.
I hear nothing past the pulse pounding behind my ears.
Stronger, faster, it hums beneath this ivory skin.
Only if I could escape the hysterics that hide in my throat.
Bubble underneath the surface, threatening to convulse.
Quicker my breath comes, fighting past this ocean of uncertainty.
It stretches before me, I consider breaking the surface.
A clean cut on the smooth gray, deeper and deeper.
I take the plunge, and into this darkness I relax.
Comfortable, I stretch my legs, I pull these veins out by the roots.
Beating within my hand, I squeeze.
Familiarity overwhelms me, isn’t this what forever feels like?

sitting blankly in this chair again,
feet planted firmly on this patterned carpet.
the air conditioner hums softly,
pulling me with the soft cushion of coldness.
exhaustion drags my eyes down,
away from the glaring lights of this screen.
voices droning on in the background,
smiles, handshakes, "how do you do?"'s.
the ringing phone sounds like one big sigh,
i suppose it's just another Monday.

It’s me again, do you remember?
I keep coming around, searching in vain for you.
No longer can I see, as you’re long gone.
Safe to say I’m in a darker place than you.
I’m losing sleep, chasing those sheep over the hills.
Distraught, lost, what’s in your mind?
Because you’re on mine, always.
I know I’m lost to you, please don’t remind me again.
Masochistic, sadistic, pathetic.
I’m losing my mind, don’t you know, I love you to death.  
But I'm here, my dear, always right here.

one by one, two by two,
you pulled those creamy petals,
threw them into the wind and screamed.

this is what it feels like to be alive,
your hand in mine,
standing tall and wide over the edge of the world.

i was entranced, living in a dream,
where the dust settled and i could see,
your smile painted in hues upon my lips.

"don't you see, this is for you and me,"
every stupid thing leading to this,
an adventure for our hearts to be free.

so this is how it goes -
bring me up high,
and pull me down slow.

i'm only human -
take it easy on me,
this roller coaster makes me weak.

let's face the truth -
these nights are fluid,
our smiles glare from inside the picture frames.

don't be afraid of the future -
holding you close as i need to,
breaking apart is a need to.