Who am I to wear a crown
Someone falling down
Rain its falling down
Soon it'll hit the ground
I've come unwound

On rooftops with a bottle of crown
Trying not to fall all the way down
Last drop falling and I drown
Ground rise up to smack me down
I've come unwound
Unbound so hear this sound

One parent only father raised without a *** to suckle
Dad did his best hammer raised knees buckled
Every night hammered drugged up and tired
He gave me life, he raised me, he failed me

Now twenty tabs in wired all night long
Need to sleep so I hit the ****
Need to live so do drugs then I'm gone
All my fake friends know I'm on one

No benz, two wheels across town
Back paths and alleys gone down
No smiles round here only a frown
I'll die afore I can afford a hospital gown

Twenty shots of costco gin
Broke the same as broken
Soon to be in the trash bin
So I turn to crime again

Dealin like part time workin
Flippin like life is dependin
Profitin off others addiction
Is this really livin

Gotta get outta these places I been in
Aint any place for me to die in
Aint even got a place I'm buyin
Just rentin a slum ****** apartment

I can't exhale breath it all in
I've failed and I'm chokin
Lost and no ones looking

Ghost amongst smoke
Laughing without a joke
Smoke drags in till I croak

Do anything just to smile
Its been a ******* while
Its been the longest mile

Wasted I love it
My life spent wasted
Wasted my times spent

Show up at the party I'm already wasted
Day I was born my life was wasted
Roll it up, drop it down, pour it up lets get wasted

I can't exhale choked caps down
I'm the plug its all home grown
Dead head, death caps, did a pound

Did it all, ****** with Lucy and Mary
Memory hazy, eyes lazy, nothin phase me
Colors shifty on the nightly shine brightly

I've died on the daily does anyone feel me
I don't know but lately leaf comes freely
Acidy melty its unsightly really die nightly

Maybe I want it to take me
After that don't know where I'll be
Not here and unhappy, maybe

We in the gulag
Warm fires we burnin our god
So sit and chill dog

Heat waves shimmer every winters dimmer
But summer is an oncomer heat waves for the sinners
Shimmer for all the winners losers lost in the winter
Heatwaves they shimmer over the river
Here I shiver and I feel it in my liver
Heatwaves in my liver while I think about livin here
Winter draw nearer cold shivers an wood splinters
Another heatwave another summer another winter
Sit and shimmer if your a winner
I sit and shiver away the summer
Never ever shimmer lost in the river
Flowin in deep water I teeter totter
Falter heat waves in my liver
In the middle of winter
Always wanted to sit and shimmer in the summer
Be like those winners like stop and shimmer in the mirror
But in water life go where it go always forward never clearer
Never fair without care about who or where waves in layers
Everyone a player some losers some winners all those sinners
Come winter all shiver but not all shimmer not all star chasers
Seein farther than father or how I got here visions clearer
Seers in the shimmer life livers who go farther than their father
While others sit and shiver in winter thinking about dinner
Some summer I'm gonna shimmer like just look at him in the mirror

Body pacing while my heads racing
Anger surfacing replaced by euphoric feeling
Thoughts are tangling each dropping like its raining
A thought falling then pooling till they hit the ceiling

What am I feeling, something different than moments ago
Am I happy, sappy, mad maybe I just cant tell I dont know
All I know is feeling are crashing and I'm caught in the undertow
Electricity grabbed me, body pulsing it won't let go

All I can do is sit and wait as every cell vibrates
Wait for time to make it all turn quiet
Patience while everything in me riots
Silence while screaming have to try it

Bullet proof vests to go to school
Future is full of automatic tools
Streets got kids played like fools
And killers enforce the rules
While kings collect gold coins and jewels

War machines grind youth into years
Watch grown men get juiced for tears
Death in the mirror closer than she appears
Meanwhile and idle fool tries to keep his cheer
Its out of fear as his lover she draws near

Masks on in public no longer metaphoric
Ignore the pandemic you'll still catch it
Faceless claims made baseless face it  
Maskless heartless degenerates
They got an epidural so they cant feel ****

**** with negligence while pleading allegiance
Twenty twenty decade of the convergence
Some say year of the divergence
Glaciers lurk below the Dow index
the Titanic awash in market resurgence

Oh woe is me woe is me, woe is they
We won is what the slow in the head say
Cause we're all sitting in Pompeii
Don't matter if your candidate won yesterday
We all gonna be toe tagging today  

Whatchu you know about management, a delegate, a canidate
What your told what you heard its ****** sad isn't it
Don't know about Gadaffi, Benghazi, just emails from Hilary
Their propaganda prattle blaming the soup kitchen ladles
Act like cattle and they got you saddled and addled

Something in the water get caught and you'll drown
Just bought a bottle and we're all headed down
Doesn't matter if you drop out or got a cap and gown
Bitter but feel better after a night out on the town
Go getters and quitters all buried under this ground

Its the future and the time flows like mercury
Retrograde, retrowave, means lost in nostalgia
All composure in present is from more *****

Citys alight at night fires burn brighter futures lookin brighter
Ash and blight fills our sight screams and sirens get louder  
Crash incoming cant see obstacles incoming hit the powder
Blast off explosions turn projects to dust and mortar
As it settles to coals after pyrotechnics a moment is quieter

Regain composure in the present with more *****
The future is a toxin and it flows like mercury
Look back retrograde, retrowave, lost in nostalgia

Details weigh heavy in the air we breathin  
Deceit flys every way as broadcast speakin
Repeats leak in many lungs as they breath it in
Doors open and now the thieves are in
Laws broken and the people are misbegotten

Obsessed with retrograde, retrowave nostalgia
Losin composure theres never enough *****
Toxins flow in, time flows out, its like mercury

The earths baked and the landmass disappears with snowflakes
Hearts been staked in class learned we're all soon to die its fate
Parts they break and these are the last as fear grows it gets late
Charts talkin they doomsay, hearsay, naysay, scream mayday
Just wanna say its gonna be okay, but I won't lie not today

All the things I've survived
Demons, beasts, fiends
Skinwalkers whom I complied
Get on with friends

Get on with anyone, anything
Diseased minds tell me lies
Listen as time is festering
Eating away their lives

They claim godhood expect worship
I stand in mock appreciation
They see my smile and see worship
A smirk hiding condemnation

I laugh and smile commiserate with a devil
They think it's with them but it's at them
Slowly they realize I'm not on their level
When for help to me they come

I turn them to their sins and crimes
As I refuse them even the smallest crumbs
I've seen better men beg for dimes
So I lack pity I will not be a crutch

I'm dyin inside listening to dead outside
Husks without things clutching dreams
Always in me do they choose to confide
Noone else will listen noone cares

Even they don't care for what they say
Still they talk and talk trying to be okay
No one will sway to the sound they make
Still I listen just in case that's all it'll take

Hope they shed their horns and fangs
Become men once more through the pain
Can't do more or risk losing skin of mine
So I listen while they fester with the time

Dark streets at midnight Not a soul in sight
Wander by streetlight, light up a spliff for the trip
Wander in shadows closing in as they follow
Wander into shadow fade as they swallow

Another night shift done another night gone
Sleeping in fits straight on through dawn
Wake up and bake then I'm gone

The walls dance on the hillside
Claws pull from fester tides
Unease in tall knives
Grass and tall lies
Underfoot the fall lies

Shaky walkways over the abyss
In the middle idle and gaze
Watch as the bridge sways
Look up and see idle days
Am I crazed or am I unphased

Feels like I could just slip into the abyss
Fall and leave behind all the fleeting nothingness
But I'd hate for others to feel amiss
If I were to be missed
So I sway and make lists

Lists about why I am so listless
Maybe cause I sleep in fits
Or cause nothing really fits
Is it cause everyone's sick
Is it cause no one'll ride my ****

The devil resides in my mental state
Where lust and wrath own real estate
Greed and envy are my fate
Sloth is why I'm always late
My pride allows them to stay

Devils in the details, devils in my failures
What does that entail for a being of years
In the entrails read a future filled with tears
Dangerous trails are predicted by seers
Death on the pale predicted by my fears

Still believed to have a few years staring at the abyss
More years to wile away with my shaky hands and lists
When the bridge collapse and I can say this is it
I'll say cheers right before the ground rises and hits
As I relapse in my personal apocalypse

If I had a crown I would have them all worship me
Every child born free at the price of fealty
Imagine single mindedness in law in propaganda on TV
And if they don't agree then they must be the enemy
If the world was mine then they would be trespassers
So deport them from my reality no time for dissenters
Excess and charity will make them ignore their lost family
If they choose to rise against me then we can all die with me
All your lives on my property and I'll evict them all to vagrantry
When they question if their free answer simply, free to swear fealty
Do as you please as it pleases me and I'll give you silk fetters
Even allow you to speak freely as long as you live to my letters
Allow arms to all if only they are to safeguard from the enemy
Give alms to the poor if only they are to serve me
Allow any godly sanctity that encourages support of me
All the power to me, all the control to me, all of society under me

Blood on my hands and the dead are risen
I can see black smoke off of the west horizon
My hearts on the line, my heads in prison
Now I'm doin time and the bars are crying

Fires are far away but the rains on me
The sky is hazy with heavy lies
With every line a few more fly
With every line another man fries

Dead friends, dead family, and dead faith
Wanna say don't give up, but its not my place
Wanna say just get up, but its not my place
My place is with dead blood and dead belief

Razor lines on glass tables
Dead kids in dark fables
Eyes are jaded, head is faded
But drugs make me elated

Fill the liver with  joy
Treat a life like its a toy
Wind it up and watch gears crunch
Couple keys of the green og kush

Smokin one while my brothers get rubbed out
Wonder if they'll ever let my uncle out
I hope not, If they do I'll cut his lights out
Blood is thicker than water now whats that about

The blood pumps down storm drains on a sunny day
And water is thick with lead and iron now we all gonna pay
Cause we all have debts in Iron, debts in blood, its collection day
The well is dry but bloods pumpin in our veins, we gotta pay

The dead take their due for the debts they accrue
Sins of my father found me and now I'm through
Riddled by addiction and collection through and through
Here comes the toll and the funds are looking few

What can you do we all got debts collecting on our hearts
Time for the bloodletting bleed out till debt finally parts
All we can do is suffer and accrue, wail and lament
Its how life collects its payment

It goes and I think about it
Life drags on and on
It'll be okay we're all dyin
Stitch together all the lyin

But the seams are busting
Maybe its how I was raised
Lusting after greener days
Drinking away darker memory

Lonely, broken, always hoping
Filthy, chokin, and coping
Smog in the sky watching birds die
Working as the people cry

Across a pond watch as they drop bombs
Dead kids, kids with guns, now its gone
Channel flipped and its in our homes
More dead kids, kids with guns, at our homes

Teenage rebels with a cause get the belt
Label them delinquent or maybe life the sentence
Tell them they'll grow out of it
Unsaid is the "or else" unsaid is the threat

Adults work as gears and cogs
Adults work until tears and rust
Act with servitude act as a dog
Or be put own like one as is just

We are the oppressed until we aren't
We are the oppressors until we can't
A revolution of successors to a power
They wield it as did their forefathers

Evil of the poor given power a fearful thought
Do well to domineer and control their thought
And if they disobey beat them till they obey
Or have your head removed as they take your thought

Evil of the rich holding power a fact of life
Still even the rich and powerful fear your knife
Still a beating heart and a body dies as is life
Still the heart of society and you take its life

Its body yours to contort and break
Do you think it better for you to take
Will you be able to handle its stakes
Will you become rich as the poor heartbreaks

Here I am, doing fine again
Where I am, burning down again

In the ashes I found my friend
Gave me warmth he would lend

Now alone, here I am
Cold as stone, where I am

Look at what we've done
Through whispers lost in confidence
Contemplate with the gun
Cause here it comes
Its all coming undone
All is lost and none is won

Machines of steel and estates
Grindstones sharpen the state
And dust is our fate
As of late
She hardly wakes
To sirens over the lake

Who poisoned the well
With liquor and bubbly swell
In the noon we drank swill
And in the morn we fell
None left that can tell
Who slipped the pill

I guess this is it
While children throw a fit
We already left
To enjoy the remnant
Drowsy from death time to light
Set it all alight

A funeral for the future
Make-up and sutures
A body in its sepulcher
Pay respect to who we ******
All respect to our sole benefactor
Cry and lie aren't we great actors

Academia can *******
Had to learn trig to pass
A test pre req for a class

That algebra is all that needs to be known
Intro chem is not a place for tan, cos, and sin
Yet I had to learn and teach it all on my own

After Doing the teaching and learning
They came around and started charging
Hundreds and thousands for nothing

So academia can *******
Had to learn calc to pass
A test pre req for a class

Do your ******* job teach me how to get a job
These administrators are just some ******* slobs
Paid three hundred grand to play with their knobs

If the systems broken fix it or at least override it
Instead you support it while students go into debt
How the **** do you run at a deficit and yet

You take every sweaty blood stained penny
Shake down every downtrodden who looks sorry
Sorry that college was the only choice outta poverty

Academia can eat my ******* ***
Didn't learn **** but I'll still pass
Cause they don't teach **** in the class

Life's been let down after let down
The highs are come down after come down
I stand in place sun up and sun down
Drinking and partying around town
With my constant frown
I wear a whiskey crown
Clarity is the same as misery
So come here commiserate with me
Passed back and forth a bottle of Hennessy
Crying tears of liquid LSD
Shaking from the DT's
First hit I ever took was a freebee
Filled me up and left me empty
My brain aches and my body is sweaty
Sticky and failing grasp for that comfort
Even while I stand in squalor
I toast to every single new year
Down my throat goes another beer
As I careen towards a ******* career
I feel depression and a drugged up cheer
Liquid LSD comes out in tears
DT's and shakes make some fear
But I know none myself, in my town
With a whisky crown and a frown
Everyday sun up and every let down

Trippin and feelin, cripplin depression
Ugly complexion, sippin at concessions
Say its to cope with depression and oppression
But its hedonism and gratification
Basic ******* in lieu of connection
****** with no protection
My life needs an abortion
Get a portion spent without caution
Psylocybin and tax evasion
******* with no correction
Cocktails a fusion that cause confusion
Light concussion drinking white russians
Blurry vision a small contusion
Another forgotten session of confessions
Never learned my own lessons
Can't count my own blessings
Just count the shell casings
Bullets spent on the killings
Dead children for coffin stuffing
Dead presidents for coffer filling
Written off on tax filings
Tax credits for our kings
And all golden things
While I choke from the chains
Broke from bills and pain
A joke before it starts to rain
Work and you will gain
Sweat out your pores till it stains
Sticky and wet in your rusty red chains
Iron oxide is in your veins
And its locked you up in your brain
I came into a world of novacaine
Daddy addicted to release from pain
For every pill of joy he gained
I lost a little of the one from who I was named
And when the time came I left him behind
One of the many times I have sinned
Watched my flesh grow dead and strained
Till I could watch no more as he changed
Now I trip and feel a cripplin depression
My ugly complexion matchin a ugly confession
A dead dad left to his depression under oppression
Hidden in hedonism and gratification
Constant ******* without a connection
Cuz he ****** without protection
I wish I was chosen for an abortion
Blurry vision from all the drinking
Anything that isn't thinking
This is just another session of my confessions
Which I will learn none of the lessons
Soon to be forgotten
Lost in dead in all the oppression
Focus in on so much corruption
Never look at my own problems
Or my own solutions
I watch my own flesh grow dead and strained

Depending on my addictions for some purpose
Lifeless without it lost conviction and focus
Burn resin and scrape glass live to the fullest
Madness is manic, uppers to heaven to be blessed

Conceit lets me do as I please, find pleasure find release
Deplete my mania, A choir singing to my pulse
Love and passion ringing within a erratic beat
Sorrow leaks from lesions as my flesh lets loose

I can't see I have lost my sight along with my rights
These chains are holding me tight makes me feel alright
In my brain is a cage with a prisoner who says hes a sage
Wonders why hes caged, but I see in his eyes hateful rage

I am just a product of the chemicals I take
Defective product who will barely wake
It doesn't make only here for its own sake
A cheap product that is soon to break

But faulty as I may be the drugs make me feel alright
The smoke in my lungs pulls me through the long night
Even when it chokes me It make me feel less lonely
I know its not really healthy but the choice is mine solely

I have given in to it fully this folly it makes me happy
Makes my cold heart feel sappy a state I want to be
How long since I felt it naturally, years ago maybe
Its just a distant memory that warmth coming to me

Used to throw myself into fiction but story's never saved me
Now I give myself to addiction cause hero's are all  2-D
My brain needs the correction and all it cost me was a small fee
A piece of my mind, piece of my time, piece of my sanity

Then I'm Free

Freedom of speech is only ever true
If no one is listening to you
Watch what you say you can disappear too

Methods of my confessions
Rhymes and simple expressions

Sometimes I look in someone's eyes and see the blue-collar
Someone empty-eyed with flagging pride and sickly pallor

From too many night shifts no sun in his life
Many nights thinking on being a waste of life

Recognized from countless mirrors
A visage that draws ever nearer

Fear in shadows of the mind
Nothing in the eyes to find

Nothing to impart
Not a single spark

Walking ghost
A empty host

A systemic epidemic amid the pandemic
Shots off at capitol hill and alls a panic
Forensics takes money from the shooter
Proclaims the victim to be a looter

Throw lives away like trash on the block
Take poor lives at their sides a Glock
Stocks soar, Deaths soar, **** just our luck
**** on tour at mast is the patriots ****

Peace an option until they grabbed their piece
Take the lease call your tab a life will cease
Six six six its the nature of the beast
Money, greed, and avarice

All they want is every slice of prosperity
They flaunt a salary a workless propriety
Makers, producers, and workers in poverty
Still, they will rule with iron sovereignty  

This goes on for four more I'm going on a tour
Camp on a grassy knoll taking shots of Cuervo
Not enough to throw off my aim though
My contribution is to the body flow

That's just how war goes, no justice no peace
Just taking justice away with a piece
When I feel a debt is to me I pull the lease
And I feel what is owed to me is some peace

That'll never happen till all my friends can eat
I may die in a miserable cell in complete defeat
At least my skin won't be fleece won't be meat
For wolves to eat I'll be a man crushed underfeet

Funny we still fight confederate beliefs
More like fight the degenerate beliefs
Of the weak and the meek thieves
Stealing rights and lives for conceit

Liberty or death is the creed of our founders
Yet when liberty is stolen everyone just flounders
Death is the only retort to fascist panderers
Tired of all this fake comfort as a ponderer

The answer soon to be immutable one last stopper
That can permute this course as the only offer
An election of a conqueror or a molester
Choice between a beast and death or a monster

One mimics ein fuhrer  the other will fester
So whats best here civil war or uncle Chester
Months until the toll bell calls on her electors
To choose hell or tepid **** to quell the defectors

Never got to be a child had to be the man
Age nine and I was the only one that gave a ****
So ****** I handle my **** the best I can
Cause nothins been free except for dyin
So I've been cheatin, stealin, and lyin
Since I was a youngun its been survival
To charm and lie see everyone as a rival
In a game where its death if you get tabled
I ran the cards with sharks, waters chummed
Everyone smells blood so my hearts stone
It don't pump red it sits empty in the bone
I will never atone for what I've done
But I'll live to see the sun

A pack of monkeys throwing stones
Tribes of savages turn each other to bones
Gunpowder wizards usurp the world's throne
Imperial nations elevate off mass graves and wars won

Every face the same humans revealed their nature
Bared fangs base things and ******* masks hide a future
Monstrous acts with a spot of tea, putrid culture
Secede across the sea, manifest genocide and scalpers

Oh the humanity, where we swear fealty
To any who can make the biggest red sea
Sanity is subjective and as far as I can see
No animal will ever act logically

I've inflicted pain and I called down the rains
I did it in the name of the cause that I claim
So why do you exist, why do you do the same?
Everyone is the same we all have a cause to claim

Will we ever evolve past this point of no return
How do you teach a people who cannot learn
Truly this world is what humanity has earned
Blood and ash that won't last we all get our turn

3 missed calls sorry for never calling back
But I'm just the worst ghost in your past
I haunt those that loved me before I crashed

Am I dead to you yet?
I still remember when I held you as you wept
I remember crying about you when I slept

I don't have a reason to exist
My life is just broken promises
Broken dreams, broken things I list

I want to feel like I did at the dawn of day
But dusk has long since been on its way
Night of broken strings I tug and I fray
Thinking on the warmth of sun in yesterday
It never will rise again, I will never be okay

Mayday, mayday I'm swinging low
Into waves and crashing to and fro
A cosmic painting of emotion
Just another drop in the ocean
Blue abounds around me down I go

Can't tell up from right down from wrong
I thrash and fight as I get tugged along
Currents pull me with promise of holy
Belief will be your light, can't fool me
Angler fish in the void you won't eat me

I will grow purple and bloated like the royals of old
Waterlogged in darkness I float into the cold
Decay of flesh leave the bone soon I will be dead
I will be gone from the abyss but I never will have fled
Boldly I resided in the night drowning in the cold

My legacy will fade away seconds after I am gone
Nothing last in the colors of the night I have flown
In the colorless sky, a colorless soul never to be found
My whole being frays and I become unwound
Day never comes, the only son has set out on his own

Cut off some friends haven't been out in a week
They out to party like life isn't aboutta end
Say I'm paranoid, Say I oughta take a break
That's stupid, not sorry and I mean to offend

I get outta bed gas mask on the bedstand
Light up a match flag burned and trash canned
WW1 ain't **** to an anti-science fascist land
A rancid maggot-infested wonderland

Don't ******* tell me to chill cuz your blind
Eyes pecked out by shills now you just unwind
Your ironed out wrinkle-free smoothed out mind
Hunned K dead tell me what do you intend

With all this mask hatin and beach partyin
Blue suits over human life you ain't kiddin
Eat my **** and die this last year meant nothin
******* and all the fun we had we ain't talkin

I'm not perfect I suffer my addictions
But I would never **** some to perdition
Cause of prejudice to a skin condition
If loyalty to pigs is your position

We are through we ain't crew you ******* tool
I know I'm a bad person but you're worse than
An ex dealer while I grew you stayed a fool
It stings losin a friend but you ain't a man

See myself over the shoulder
Never associate with my self
**** hits the fan and I get colder
Losing touch with myself
Feels like I'm watching another life

These hands can't be mine
Hands shackled by crime
Over the shoulder
I watch a colder
Man than I, a killer

Treat myself to a cocktail and drugs
Treatment to stop failure of lungs
Self medicate and consolidate my ego
Before I lose my will and let it go
The last shreds of who I was sposed to be
Before I was exposed to the street

Look at an old photo and I don't know
The ***** in the picture where'd he go
Soft boy with kind eyes found on a milk carton
Killer was caught found in his skin got a pardon
Accomplices with Alice, Jane, and molly
I'm still me? are you ******* kidding me

I can't be someone I hardly know
Every action and word is for show
Reactions I can't predict what he'll do
Snap and he might follow through
Or I could rein it in and stay cool
Is he I, could be I wish it wasn't true

Can't hear a word you say
As i drown in rosé

Cook our intelligence
Look at the belligerent
Hate filled hornet nest
Continent of ****** pest
Fumigation of the U S

litigation red tape
when a sticky red fate
gets caught on tape
Oppression communicate
When killers walk out gratis

CIA, FBI, NBC, All of them be
Lying to me, cause the tv told me
this was the nation of the free

**** that we are a nation of slaves
Haven't evolved since yesterdays
Declaration freedom from tyrants
Then drove the natives to tears
Never equal when they see ants

Regicide of a king who had a dream
Martyr the leaders to slow the steam
Now the nation burns its mainstream

ACAB, SRA, BLM, All of them be
Talking to me, cause life told me
That freedom it ain't really free

Data stream use instant transmission
Every one, one team with one mission
Can silence a king how about a nation
All chasing the dream of compassion
Fighting mace and tears with passion

While our president hides in his residence
Plotting with pence on building a fence
And Biden forgets he was the antecedent
Passed in 1997 military gear to the precinct
Two party election, its insanity or compliance

That trump boy works with Geppetto
Puppet and toy to masters he echos
Funny money, president to get dough
String pullers they really made a show
Now the polls they swinging so low

But Biden's another flunky
Dancin to the biddin of ******
Oligarch kings of the country
Sayin dance you ****** donkey
**** the country till it walks funny

Scared of the protest they cant contest
Plants in the crowd to **** interest
Cant fold wont be fooled by insects
Declare a war on our country's best
Commit war crimes in blue vests

I don't know where our future will go
But if we keep movin and never slow
Where we're goin is better than now
Yesterdays wounds will heal I know
This nightmare could end tomorrow

Maybe this was never the land of the free
But it could be if we wanted it to be
If we plant the seed nurture it and see
Keep it safe from greed's insanity
Nurture it with bodies of the bourgeois

Life whats the cost, yeah whats the cost
Is it all I've lost, yeah its all I've lost
Keep the lights on, pay that bill
Where's the food gone, musta ate my fill
Lights on in the loft, food gone I'm growin soft

I grew up in the radiation of the city sun
Long work weeks and shoplifting city fun
Grinding gears and hamster wheels to run
Getting to the city maybe I jumped the gun

Wanted to kick it in style out of the wild
Got kicked to the curb and put on file
Put to work washing up a dish pile
Customer pleasing and greeting for awhile

Till my custom became scraping for greenery
Money fields where I toil lost a harvest to robbery
Green fields smoked it for miles burnin some shrubbery
To make my life smile for a little while then back to drudgery

And maybe I hold a grudge but who are you to judge
Lived my life harder partying in the mud and sludge
Lost my mind in the rain to a psychedelic deluge
Lived my life harder crying in the mud and the sludge

Even now that I've gone across the pond
And it all couldn't be further
My past still holds a strong bond
To my habits and murmurs

Life whats the cost, yeah whats the cost
Is it all I've lost, yeah its all I've lost
But I'm glad I'm able to grow fat and soft
Even if the past is still haunting this ghost

Free flow is a wild ride no goal or pride
No drive, I walk through with no guide
Moods wax and wane with the tides
Interests ebb and sway with nights

Till I slip into that choppy water
Another case of human fodder
Lassoed by the greed of the butcher
Yanked in undertow to the slaughter

Fish out of water panic and inhale
Alveoli drenched skin turned pale
I die as I breath unbirth the tale
Toxify blood with Co2 as I trail

Fray at the rope around my throat
Underwater choke under the boat
Hull just above so I can't float
Got painted with a blue coat

Bruised blue finger tips and lips
Washed on shore gather the chips
Zombies walk the coast for licks
Get those rotten green bricks

Use em to buy resurrection
An ride the turgid *******
Of life with no protection
Just to feel the connection

Life is overrated but its the only show out
By default rated highest number one it touts

I know I shouldn't touch the flames
But I keep reaching out covered in burns
I can't feel my skin
Tongue taste tin
I left my brain
So I'm right as rain

Right on time give me some change
Right on time can't you spare some change
I know, I know
I've really let go
But it don't show
The flames they glow

And I shouldn't put my hand forward
When it sparkles I'm fine being charred
Tired of tryin
Now its time
For fire and wine
Am I unkind?

Rude of me to offer myself away to the pyre
Not my fault that I'm burning your final wire
Hot to the touch
Unfit to be a crutch
I don't want to touch
You'll be my torch

I'll burn out and you'll catch the flame
But you still have our skin and our brain
You will feel pain
of the oil rains
On your skin
Change will burn

On time or too late I don't care I just know
That sooner rather than later I'm gonna go
Living life lighter
Gonna be brighter
I'm going faster
Won't last here

Who wants to live forever
Rather be spectacular
A spectacle
Unpredictable
Uncontrollable
Until I am unable

Progeny of sin                                                              ­                           Genetically inclined                                                         ­                                            I’m the next of kin

Ideal is in death                                                            ­                                      Apathy is in me                                                               ­                                                  I am losing breath                                                           ­                                       

Worshiping hollow hope                                                             ­                                           Pray to the self                                                             ­                                              Take a little dope to cope                                                             ­                         

Dry eyes, dryer tears                                                            ­                                           Cold blood, colder heart                                                            ­                                               Flat-lined mind,                                                            ­                        where are my fears

Leave me alone,                                                           ­                                          Help me please

Poems filled with different words but they feel repetitive
Words filled with different meaning but they feel repetitive
Mind filled with different thoughts but they feel repetitive
Soul filled with different parts but they feel repetitive
State filled with different beliefs but they feel repetitive
Country filled with different people but they feel repetitive
World filled with different walks but they feel repetitive
Time filled with different events but they feel repetitive
History filled with different tragedy's but they feel repetitive
Life filled with different cycles and they feel so repetitive

We write down the sadness in ours souls to cope with the passing
I write my sins I write my hate I write my sadness and its repeating

As a society looking the other way when did this become okay?
I think it was yesterday when we made our way from oversea

Came from the isles where they subjugated the whole world
Hate held in humanity's heart since Carthage evil we hold

I cant see a bright future ahead when our future is in our past
When I see everyone repeat the same mistakes only one thing lasts
The repetition of pain and misery in future, present, and past

Dreams tainted by the course of age
I've acted like the prince but stood as a page
Thought my rage was past tense but I don't change

Expectations of respect but I'm not royalty
And I still stand with all my hate and loyalty
Sleeping soundly and when I wake its regrettably

My waking life is spent as a constant
Eyes closed with dark bags tired my countenance
A need to be a man of substance, a brain with content

It drives me to escape and sleep all day long
Life on my word the path of pain where have I gone
Burn in the night to escape the change will never come

Always I seek the validation of respect
Only break is sleep some stolen moments
Born poor and envious my life is one I reject

Heart beats in indigo even as it lets go
Dark and bruised still I will always grow
No need for an escrow when I rest it all goes

Ten thousand years and we're still peasants
Now the ruling class hunt us like pheasants
Presently they act like their oppression is a present
When we act ungracious get gassed till we pleasant

They never cared when opioids hit the street
Why would they when their the pusher
Catch you with drugs they sold and they're the punisher
Arrest an addict and then in the cell they **** her
Evil ******* in the force enforcing like predators
Live life proper and you'll still end up behind bars
If blue stars decide your life offend theirs

Armed like the military and they declare war
On the peasants fighting brutality and alls fair
Might mace a kid cause his skin aint fair
So much pain and I'm no believer but I send a prayer
For every Trayvon Martin and every Tupac Shakur

If we're being real police have never helped me
All they do is spread fear and imprison the free
They'd shoot a man for taking a knee
But let a murderer walk free
Police cause chaos in the street
So defund the police and lets see
If we can have peace, finally

Never was in the project I grew up next to it
Word up to white privilege let me out of sewage
Friends born without a chance so **** it
If they burn this ****** down I'll live in wreckage

Hundred years ago they were objects
Hundred tears now they live in projects
Hundred dead still deaf to the subject
Hundred voices tune out this movement

Shame'em for kneeling ruin a career make a mockery
So ****'em no complaining enough fear not sorry
Protest erupt in the country built on the back of slavery
**** the police **** the government and **** the property

This is about humanity and who we wanna be
No more hiding from reality now you have to see
And if you swear fealty to Trump you aint American
Follow a bunker ***** who saw trouble and ran

Declared antifa a terrorist movement
Antifa: **** fascism the creed
Some people wondering where peace went
Died under knee unable to breath

To serve and protect that's what they say
To observe and oppress that's the reality
They been taking from every poor community
****, maybe its finally time that they pay

A human with empathy could never be content with this ****
If you chant blue lives matter or MAGA then die you *****
Humanity will never progress till we're all equal in this *****
Lastly if you don't support the movement then **** my ****

Hard to sleep in these times of turmoil
Apparently trump is our new royal
And currently those that are loyal
Put people in the *** to boil

Lights I need some light
Light I need a light
Born Bright now dim
Burn Bright till dumb

I see a future ahead  we'd be better off in hell
Its hard to get out of bed hard to get out my head
Still put feet forward even when everyone's ill
When no one can pay the bill well, oh well

My side likes silencing and witch hunting
Their side likes killing and witch burning
I have to confide I don't think we're winning
And from inside  it feels like tragedy is brewing

Generation of dead with nothing to lose but their life
They kneel and it hurts their pride the fuse is short
**** your future **** your friend its legal in court
No time for a suture or scripture soon is the night

The time is up the toll is up and I ask whats up
God and heaven above to witness a massacre
Tear gas in your eye I cant see it either
Empty void of space to scream I need a breather

I'll be in my room at the end of time
Our tab is called and we wont be fine
Too soon it comes the night is nigh
Don't ask if you look you know why

Life has always been short
We end soon after birth
What is the worth
Of life grown from dirt

We think ourselves as gods
Above earthly things like endings
No life is above its own decaying
Soon there will not even be the words

Apollo's arrows bring the plague of our age
And as he sets Mars comes in the night
To hunt in fallow fields within her blight
As mortals we react with despair and rage

Humanity is throwing a fit no one can breathe
Tears turn to blood and it leaks like a sieve
City's burn as our leaders forget how to grieve
Never had to care never told how to behave

When its over I don't want a prize for participation
Or even punishment for all those sinners
Life has no losers and it has no winners
We all fall down and I live in anticipation

Posturing with a burger king crown
King has a nice ring a nice sound
But as much as I grasp even at my last
Final gasp of life I'll die in the low cast

Eat glass my thoughts are cosmic
But my body is earthly and sick
Thoughts of supremacy flow arrogantly
Reality is that's a fallacy thoughts fall flatly

Big fish in a small pond but just a bottom feeder
Drift aimlessly but wanna think I'm a leader
Talk big but I ride around in a one seater
Really lived that life but never had a heater

I can say proudly I've never caught a body
But quietly I have poisoned somebody
Dope dealin addiction feeding on the block
Just selling mush and that smoke never rock

Still took mans paycheck when the rents due
Slid em the product and fed their flue
Killing em slowly for profit in my pocket
Small time pounds I'd stock it and move it

Re-up from a college girl with Mexico plugs
Still worked that 9 to 5 could never be a ****
Just a petty criminal surviving on the scraps
Get fast food while bumpin gangster rap

I'd shoplift eggs when money was short
When rice and beans was all I could afford
Needed more, desire turned me sour
Shift managers had me scraping to petty power

Delusion of grandeur in a dish pit it didn't sit
Couldn't humble myself almost bit it
Pride killed my mind, body dead in the grind
Joints poppin body failin, drugs melting mind

Suicidal thoughts when reality didn't match
The life I wanted was always out of reach
No chance at a home and a that Mercedes
Just traps debts and loans maybe I'm crazy

Maybe I'm bad with money, that's funny
Got help from affluence got lucky
In one year saved 15 racks once out of the trap
Glad I never took that shot at a dirt nap

Who knew the answer to making money
Wasn't work or effort just being lucky
Knowing somebody not trapped with a hand out
Took it and pulled myself out of the ****** plot

Wonder when I wont have anymore to say
Is that when I will finally fade away
Wonder if anyone will care to say
Another word of me when I pass away

Smoke is still on the horizon
But the heat is far away
Lost the clouds in the confusion
As I insist they must stay
They drift out of the bay

As they gather they grow heavy
With the shadow of death
A storm brews with its levy
Taxing life of its breath
Soon rain will be wept

Shadow looms over the patriot nation
Darkness blooms over rot and revelation
Sadness runs across the holy nation
One under god Indivisible stagnation

Cant pray the disease away rotten to the core
Maggots fester in its brain as it screams for more
Cursed land of plenty parasites in every pore
Tragic fates for all who hate and adore

The past is genocidal our forefathers were homicidal
Get the pesticides and apartheid **** the undesirable
Dont think wrong, look wrong, be strong just be small
Cause above all this country is for the weak and frail

Small minds create the law Frail hearts preserve order
We ****, enslave, then set aside to create the mortar
Built the rails of immigrant backs got our labor mail order
Shipped them from Africa to be the chained and stabled labor

We committed upon humanity nuclear holocaust
And to be sure we did it again at reasonable cost
Landed on the shores and it would've all been lost
Found a savior and on a trail of tears they were cast

Now we stand divided by our caste by our birth
Left to escape the kings only to crown our first
There's a humor in this storied past a dark mirth
A nations hero complex perverted by imperial thirst

Conception of endless consumption capitalism's
Inception with bad intention left no options
They say socialism is communism and communism's
The devil all red looking for our destruction

Jesus has a Gucci  cross and Versace rags
Status and money worshiped in all these rags
News of the second coming stocks on the rise
Every day another person dies so a bottom line rise

And these people want to be crushed underfoot
Protesting protection demanding oppression
The uneducated pedestrian Loves licking boots
Complacent peasants never gonna change succession

Evil and corruption isn't only at the top look at us
***** in a *** make change seem like it treasonous
Cant even discuss trying to change the U.S.
Without some ******* saying just get off the bus

If you wanna see evil all you gotta do is look at the street
Where they'll lay you out and take the shoes off your feet
Everyone desperate poor man rob a poor man to eat
Everyone's addicted everyone's a deadbeat debts on our sheet

Sometimes it all feels hopeless like I'm helpless
To systemic problems made to chain my dreams
Only thing keeping me going is all my friends
I cant change the past or even the now nevertheless

I still exist and I am forced to coexist with this mess
Everyday historical its forecast oncoming endless stress
Every year piles on the duress death creeps in the press
Whispers in my head wonder if I could care less

Tired of caring about **** I cant change
Of a living in a  life I didn't make
Emptiness and regret/Contempt and rage
Emotions flipping  page to page