Two years later I lost my life to the past and four months later I realized I
COULD live my life without you
Six months earlier I struggled to find myself because you blinded me with your shiny teeth and bright eyes yet now I'm here
Still sad, but no *****.

I've never been one to take a punch without either dulling my senses or punching back
But this punch back feels wrong
Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing
I'm drifting through life
The corridors of my heart have been empty for years and I don't know how to fill them anymore
From my father to my first love to you I've been abused
I've been bruised, talked down to, manipulated, and confused
And you did nothing but confuse and dull my senses as if there was something I was supposed to see and you blocked it from my view
I've never hated you, I can't find the time to
But between when you left me barely functioning and now I've learned to love you without being next to you
And hearing you hurt and holding back the pain in your voice broke me and I didn't know how to respond.
So when you told me not to speak to you
Not to tell you that I loved you
Not to tell you that I missed you
I decided that because I do love you I was going to respect your wishes.

I check your Facebook now and again
I make sure you're still posting on your instagram to make sure you're still breathing
If I could ask you how you were doing I would
But you don't want to hear from me, it hurts to much
And I keep fighting the urge because baby
You learned how to control me
And now I cannot free myself.

She sees heaven in his eyes
He sees a hell in her heart
Too many times she's been hurt
and torn all apart
He sees her suffering
She sees that he's trying
But something inside her
Feels like she's dying
She knows it's worth fighting
He knows how much she's struggling
Struggling with pain versus time
Never knowing if she'll make it through
Like she's blind, walking a twisted path
He guides her towards the truth
She falls behind, she's just too tired
He turns around, sees her lying on the ground
Adrenaline kicks in
He has to carry her out of this place
A heavy load to bare, he struggles through
He takes the weight on his shoulders
Pain, sorrow and a lifetime of despair
Knowing she's his one saving grace
He pushes on until he sees the light up ahead
The final stretch, but he feels heaven on his side
Wondering if he'll make it after how much he's bled
And how much he's cried
The bright light awakens her
She holds on tight, crying tears of joy
With a kiss and a laugh they move on together
Cause love is something even hell can't destroy

It might be my 3am broken mind but I've been thinking and I regret giving you my whole world because I have nothing else to give now
and how do I raise my significance that in our mind has fallen at a drastic rate

I see no point in next year.

I was the one who turned you down
Too scared of other's opinions
While those opinions wouldn't have hurt nearly as much
as not being able to touch your warm hands in the middle of winter