Yes, I do converse with all the crawling wishes that keep slamming me for never letting them stand and chase the dreams.
Yes, I do converse with all the broken dreams that linger on their shape they thought my deeds would provide.
Yes, I do converse with all the uncovered routes my feet still long to kiss.
Yes, I do converse with all the tough decisions I escaped that considered me gritty enough to not give in.
Yes, I do converse with all the choices I avoided where my soul found solace in.
Yes, I do converse with all the smiles I faked that had the elements of happiness a morsel or two.
Yes, I do converse with all the let go's that I could have stopped, grabbed, hugged and preserved, but I did not.
Yes, I do converse, and it keeps me going and it keeps me growing.
  -Aparajita Tripathi

Hand me the palette
If you can
I'm not a great artist
But I'll try my best
To colour the universe
inside your weary soul
In kaleidoscopic hues
Brighter than the rainbows
Of spring summer
And other verdant seasons
I'll try to revive
It's lustre back
Make the sun shine
As bright as I can
Scrub away
The clouds of despair
And the monsoon rains
I'll wipe with my hands
After I've accomplished my art
I'm sure I will see
your smile again
Your eyes will gleam
With boundless joy
And you won't even remember
What made you feel
So sad and desolate
In the first place

"Days without you are torturing, nights without you are grievous.
I look for the comfort that I used to find in your lap. Where will I get you mumma? Where?", a scream lashed in despair echoed.
"I'll be the gallop to **** the dormant twilight,
I'll be the golden rays to snog your sleepy eyes,
I'll be the stretch of vitality,
I'll be the aroma of your morning coffee,
I'll be the shower of sprightliness to drench you with new zeal,
I'll be the savour of your breakfast and joy of a full square meal,
I'll be your steps towards glory,
I'll be the sigh after your every failed story,
I'll be the hop of excitement,
Acquainting a flunk, I'll be the screech of your lament,
I'll be the bliss you find seeing the sun going down,
I'll be in the sloth dispelling plangent words of azan,
I'll be the spectator of your big bright smile,
I'll be the witness to the every tear you wipe,
Never in your life you're alone,
Be it your hearty gale or saddening mourn,
Walking by you like your shadow,
Even beyond the eternity I'll follow", whispered her mother. :')
-Aparajita Tripathi


Your snaring approach convinced my words to give us a story. After knowing you, words sank low to a morsel or two. And after this informal proximity, I wonder, as a lost agraphic, if I could write at all.

I ache so much right now. Curious longing to unload the weight from your heavy heart. Take my hand. Lead me through the workings of your naked core. Let guilty flowers blossom and grow between the cracks in our reality. I hunger of words missing, lost over timed silence. Cautiously I wish to know the carousel of thoughts that spin in your curious mind. Wanting so much right now to feel the distant beat of your heart. To briefly steal what is not mine.

I remember you when you were fifteen.
Holding your first cigarette between your manicured nails and smiling at the moon.
And through the years
I've seen you spend most of your time trying to escape your thoughts until six in the morning
With a book and a cat
The two things you called the greatest loves of your life.
I've seen you walk down flowery paths with the sun in your eyes
And through darkened forests, wondering desperately where the sun had gone.
I've heard you talk about death and God, your favourite whiskey and your dog. About the most shallow and mundane of events, and the deepest of philosophies.
And I see you now
In your plaid shirts and lace-up boots,
Trying to hide your face in your hair
Calmly turning away every chance at love you find
Searching desperately for distraction
In a gram of ******* and the pen and paper sitting by your bedside.

// she falls in love the same way that she falls apart; quickly and all at once.

tumbling into his outstretched palms with a startling intensity, his fists clench and she cries.

she wants him to hurt her, leave smouldering bruises around her neck. Force your fingers down her throat and make her beg. maybe this love; choking sounds and blood.

it’s almost funny, the fact that she still hasn’t learned yet; make him your everything and you will be left with nothing.

and it feels like hell, almost romantic.

her lips part in the dimly lit room, gasping for air.

that’s the thing, there is nothing he could do to her that she wouldn’t do to herself. hold a knife to her neck and watch her soul drip from her mouth

one rib at a time you snapped them all like twigs and complained that she made too much noise. too much,

too loud.

lungs swimming in fluid yet she breathes out flowers, because that’s what pretty girls do; that’s what you wanted isn’t it babe? beauty. perfection.

don’t let him inside your head, keep him between your thighs or else everything around you will become white noise; fading into the background.

go on, romanticise it. i dare you.

force its unwilling bones into a metaphor or a simile.

pretend that we fall apart into beautiful, tragic spectacles and simply glue the broken fragments back together

she sat in the dark with a cup of tea between her shaking hands, resisting the urge to split her veins over the white walls and string her organs from the ceiling like fairy lights.

wanting to die in the most violent of ways is a lot less convenient than it seems; an unholy addiction of the rawest degree.

darling, i’m sorry he made you feel like you are hard to love,

because loving you is the easiest thing in the world //

I long to be loved
So I love
I long to be seen
So I see
I long to be believed
So I believe
I long to be prayed for
So I pray for
I long to be validated
So I validate
I long to be the inspiration for poems
So I allow people to inspire me to poetry
I long to be accepted
So I accept
I long to be understood
So I work to understand
I long to be appreciated
So I easily appreciate
I long to be pleasing
So I am easily pleased
I long to be art
So I make art