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  3d touka
i've finally learned how to tighten my throat

and still let the air go
touka Sep 3
He was asking for an accident

And he had asked for it so long

It was quiet conspicuity
It was a whisper of a song
And whether mid-day,
night, or morning

I could have sworn that it had gone

"Let me in, let me in"

I could have sworn that it had gone

"Let it out, let it out"

I could have sworn that it had gone

"Pick it up, put it down,"

It was frightened ambiguity
Dandelioning along
It was frozen in the postal-state
It was a letter never drawn

Tremors halving contiguity
Whatever I'd like, whatever I'd like

Tomorrow towards the turnpike's tongue

It was quiet, but I knew it wasn't right
I can hear a laugh along the highway line
I could hear the winding in the tunnel all this time
I could hear the murmur, but I still called it a whine
  Sep 1 touka
”If you are to love,
love freely and unburdened
by the tombstones
of past miscalculated regrets.”

But the heart
inadvertently beats
to the mismatched rhythms
of a hundred
caged doves’ wings.
touka Jul 31
forks scrape against plates
along lips, along tongues

those moving things
that seem to go and never stop

strike right through the quiet
the mind is futile to create

quick, cold prongs
into that special-occasion steak

words come out,
lips curve upward,

and the laughing pressure's on

it's automatic

"ha, ha,"

a grind of the knife,
stroke of the napkin

applied knowledge
purely reactive

sort of movement,
sort of laughing
touka Jul 31
shut your mouth

out from the rostrum
in my head

raking ***** claws down
the big open wound
that the mind has become

no more
makeshift threshing floor

the stopgap
you have made man's errand

the erring, wandering star
swollen bigger than its dark, devolving home

for me

a notch in the gold
a gap in the fire
a pause in the plaudit


you won't make a meal of me

I know your name


1 Peter 5:8
Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
touka Jul 22
a balloon –
no, two
no, three–
they span the width of the sky

the sky that I can see

all these strangers yet to pass
and everything is ticker tape
ticker tape
paper waste

supine in the street

so, feet
on feet
on feet
on feet

go by my head
grab the quickest tether

remember, remember

I heard your name —
I'm sure I did

and then the wind came
and then the sun was gone
and now it's up again and

everything is ticker tape
ticker tape
ticker tape
touka Apr 25
who do you think I am?

I have only been sincere

who do you think I am?

dragging your feet in the sand
cramming fingers in both ears

to stop that noise, that mess of cymbals
but you know where that noise is coming from

I want to see your hands
I want to see you sweat
force them
to be still

I wonder who you think I am
I have only been in love
some poor spectator, through this dark glass

I want to see your eyes
I want to see you take it in

off your tongue
onto my lips

I am so loud
cry and beg and cry some more
you withdraw
compos mentis of enlightened quiet
slamming anvil of beyond-earth silence

I only offered myself
bits and pieces, thoughts and thoughts
a nail, a hair, a leg torn off

thrown into the hole we bought

but what sepulcher returns in good
and who do you think I am,
and what have we done to be in love,
and where will I go when we use it up?

from behind the dotted line
that I envisioned

the upswing of human fear
and tending to be naked in it

to climb over the dotted line

to sink in and in

speaking as a child
understanding as a child
thinking as a child
waiting to be pulled to the air

if it will never feel quite right to want
I'll wait until I am wanted

and if the moment never comes, I
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