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  Mar 2016 Anubis the Philosomancer
Pax
loneliness has defined
this old soul.
Bittersweet melody
has tuned my way of
living.

I don't know how much
my heart could stand
the weight and wait
for that simple moment,
that single spark
to feel alive
and stop breathing
the ashen smog of reality.
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1410725/ashen-fields/
from ashen gray to ashen fields
comes, ashen smog...

do they care if I'm loved?

perhaps I'm too comfortable on my
own space and too confined to be bothered.

thank you for reading,
me...
"At least I have a girlfriend...."
everyone laughs

Yeah I may be going solo
Here's something you should know, though
I had a girlfriend once too
But now I am on my own

"I bet you think you're so hard
Did she get rid of you?
Did you dump her?
Was it because you're a ******
And have nothing better to do?"

everyone laughs again

Nah, I am not *******
I just extinguished the fire I started
Because the stress was killing me
I may be cold sometimes,
But I ain't no beast

I've got a heart too, I guess
Though I wouldn't mind if you were laid to rest
Because if these insults are some form of test
The only thing you're wasting is your breath

"Nah, I'm just showing how much better I am
And how having a girlfriend makes me a man"

Last time I checked, to be a man,
You didn't need
A girl to beat
Do you understand?

"Aw, ******* ****
You're just being a *****
Why don't you just bend over
And go **** on someone's' ****"

A few people shake their heads

I just said I had a girlfriend
What, because I'm single means I'm suddenly gay?
Tell you what mate, I still like girls
Oh, and by the way...

If you don't beat your girlfriend
Why is her face all cuts and bruises?
Did you do it because you're a "man?"
I really hate you losers

Hit a girl for no reason
"Awww it's coz I'm tough"
impersonates drunk, gets a few laughs
It's pronounced "girl" not "punching bag"
Do you want to know what's rough?

"No, what's rough"
Drunken man takes a swing, misses

"My fist"
just something I thought of. don't know why, but probably because of past things I have heard, of girls being beat up by drunks. Not cool
...
and like a grey jewel

"How are you feeling?"
Like solace in ocean foam
"What happened?"
She cast salt on my heart
"Why?"
Because I'm the moon's crucifixion
"Who did this?"
The wolves on the water
"Where are they?"
Are you sure you want to ask that question?

you were polished

A rose has made you her prey
"What do you mean?"
Logic is your sword; why is it dull?
"How is it dull?"
Take notice to the black rust instead
"Did she do that?"
Unpredictable is the chaos of a flower
"You think so?"
I know so
"What are you trying to say?"
You need to recognize what weeds are in disguise

to be brilliant;

"You're crying..."
For your misfortune.
"What misfortune?"
Distance is a sadistic torture, I've heard
"I am aware of that."
What's it like, utter helplessness?
"I cannot describe it."
Let me ask you something, though
"What would that be?"
Where would you be without your demons?
"In a better place."
Oh, but doesn't love come at a cruel cost?

to be valued

"All I want is for you to be happy."
I am happy
"You are lying."
What's the difference?
"You deserve everything you've ever wanted."
Does that include death?

but your value

You remind me of this place
"What place?"
The sea of concrete on death's spine
"What is a sea of concrete?"
Take this journey on dead waters
"Where am I going?"
Anywhere but here
"Will you come with me?"
Perhaps

isn't just how bright you shine in the sun---

"Thank you."
For what, grey jewel?
"For always being there when I needed you."
The darkness tastes a little sweeter with your company
"Does it really?"
I could never lie to the truth
"What about me?"
You are the truth


but it's how you don't decay in darkness

Look behind you
"Do I want to?"
Nullify your fear
"What could it be?"
these cracks of hope in the sea of rock
"A...blooming crystal lily?"


"I watched our friendship flower from the concrete."
...
I am proud
to call myself your friend.

© Copywrite Skaidrum
Need it be always so painful?
God's law
Not man's
Not a tool for shadowy userpers
Who bend the will
Through fear

It is love
A seed that has been planted
But in toxic soil
Doesn't grow

Need it be always so painful?
A fractured light
A broken rainbow
Not an infliction
But a benediction
A showering of blessings

It is love
A seed that has been planted
With tender care we watch it grow
A purple bloom

It is love
The most beautiful flower we can see
Do not trust boys
who kiss you in your drive way.
If they can't make it to the front door
there must be something wrong.

I have had many first kisses in my driveway
and every boy that has given me one
has turned out sour.
Do not trust boys who kiss you in your drive way.

If they are too lazy to walk the extra ten feet to your front door
then they are most likely too lazy to walk
the extra mile in a relationship.
Effort is key my friend.

I cannot bare to stand in my driveway.
Memories come flooding in
from this boy and that.
Do not trust boys that kiss you in your driveway.
Trust me on that.
Wait, if Jesus died for our sins,
wouldn't his sacrifice be in vein
if we don't sin?

Or, is it that
he was killed
because of our sinful nature?

Further, would his selfless redemption have been possible without the ever-so-hated Judas?
Isn't he just as necessary as Jesus to this tale?
Just as the Devil is with God?

I guess I'm overthinking this.
Thinking begets trouble.
I hope the humour is seen..

Celebrate the return of the Light, the Path, the Way, the Anointed One(s): Horus, Sol, Apollo, Jesus, Eostre, etc. etc. Whatever language/culture you prefer/were taught to be biased towards.

The important thing is to celebrate the beginning of a new redemption; a transcendence of the frigid agricultural death known as Winter.

Symbolism rocks!

Remember,
moon worship is evil,
but unceasing war
over translations of parables
is a sacred duty.
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