I often wish I was the cigarette you used
on cold nights to calm you down
and forget the pain you had.
Lies sometimes come in nicotine laced toxic.
I wonder if you see how every lie you tell
is you committing suicide
right in front of me;
killing everything I see in you.
Craving the voice that suffocates me,
these nicotine laced lies.
You being addicted to drugs,
and I to you.
Addicted to the taste your words leave in my mouth.
There is supposed to be a difference between love and nicotine.
I often wish I was that cigarette.
Only then would you be letting me in.
So breathe me.

We say that we don’t mind
when lovers leave
when friends don’t believe
when this world is so unkind
Though, we do, oh we do
hearts wounded deeply
souls esteemed so cheaply
so what else is new
We are tired
tired of the paucity of thought, of feeling
and it leaves,
****, it leaves us reeling
And all the pain we take
and all the pain we make
leaves us emptier than before
please, please no more
Help us to just believe
in light, in Truth
though still we deceive

And when you notice your daughter’s clothes change
-shirts to crop tops,
her blue jeans to ripped jeans,
scuffed shoes and all-
remember how good you felt in them, too.
The tearing of fabrication can be liberating.
And if she’s lost, doesn’t know how to make things new,
Show her.
And be new.

You love relentless
As twilight reaches my skin
You fall endlessly

Hearts bleed for lovers
What you believe will destroy
Cut lies like flowers

I asked him I said “don’t lie to me”
Give it a couple weeks but after that
then he be denying me,
take without supplying me
With the way we started
I guess this **** is irony, this **** is irony
If I told this would happen
Would you try to stop it?
Lay back in the mayback
Sit and wait
N Try to watch it
Boy I know we had our problems,
But you ain’t work to solve them
I been thru all this last year
I think that I’m revolvin
I’ve been thru this **** before
I took all of the detours
He told that he loves me
But it seems he always needs more
I can be the best for you
I’m so focused on you but you focused on what drug next for you
I know I have my issues but at least I try to fix it
You said that loves a game,
You say we swung and that we missed it
Switched up in an instant
We went from hugs and kisses
To tryna keep our distance
We barely speak our words
But I know you feel this verse
Ain’t denying it, I miss you
So I prey to god it hurts
I tried and tried and tried with you
I knew that I would ride for you
It really takes some honesty
And know I barely lied to you
Love was thrown around so let me be the last to save you...

I knew I should’ve expected this
Maybe you ain’t it no more
But I sure need to check for this
I tried everything so I think it’s time for an extra man, what extra man?
No this not a diss track,
But baby you ain’t it no more
So you can get your ***** back, get your ***** back
No regrets except for you,
Shoulda up and left on you
This is all yours so keep listen
And the rest for you
Love is gonna throw you out,
Told my friends I had no doubt, had no doubt yah yah had no doubt
Can’t believe that I defended you,
Broken hearts I’d mend for you
I used to send long paragraphs
But now this song in sendin you
It’s broken
I won’t bend for you
I won’t bend for you
Nah I won’t bend for you
You get on my nerves,
But it used to be my mind
I used to think you’re perfect
It’s a ****** waste of time
And I swear i keep searchin
But your type is all I find
All I find
Yah yah you’re all I find
Pretending you don’t know me gone be hard after this
Thought that I was done
Still goin hard after this
Baby we was up to bat
I guess we all gotta me,
We all gotta miss

But I should say thanks
I’m super focused now
You don’t want it?
That’s okay I won’t go hold you down
Used to spend my nights
We’d fall asleep on the call
Now I spend my nights I sleep quite at all
I hate you and I love you
And I wrote to express that
I hate this I hate us
It’s done now, never text back
I’ll send calls to voice mail
I won’t take my ex back
I hope you gonn find better
But baby it don’t get that
Baby It don’t get that

Thinking of you is a toxic euphoria,
a lovely danger,
you’re a sugar-coated wicked temptation,
comforting hurt,
a beautiful disease.

Mourning on school mornings
as you take your children to the bus stop
hope their hearts won’t stop
bullet shells drop

and moments of silence
will never balance their cries
or your rage
or put others at ease

it will never
combat the kids in the halls
saying “we don’t care”
with a rib cage full of hate

it will never
get those of ignorance to think

the people cant listen to moments of silence
so be louder than the gunshots
because I’m tired of listening to those.

Raised by
Kurt Cobain anger,
low grunge in earbuds
make it easier to ignore the mass of loud kids in the halls,
Hope they stay away.
For me? Socializing will drain you.

Raised by
Amy Winehouse.
Big winged eyes but,
her voice was bigger.
Showed me how to close doors,
and what hides behind them.
For love is a losing game,
yet we end up addicted anyways.

Raised by
The Beatles.
60s pop and rock,
Oh! Darlin’ they are good!
Taught me to think for myself
and let some things be.

Raised by
Cage The Elephant.
Showed me the world is
cold, cold, cold.
Cause there ain’t no rest for the wicked!
I’ll always find
trouble on my left
and to my right.

Raised by
Earl St. Clair
I might not have what I want,
but I got what I need.
And some don’t have a three story home
to feel alone in.
You just gotta deal with the pain,
before it deals with you.

Daisy was almost a year ago
and I still look at the flowers
with hate

—the burning of flowers.

I am yours.
When I say
I am yours
I do not mean
This body I happen to reside in
I do not mean my curves and edges
My scars and bruises
What's yours is I
I am love
Not a body

I was wearing this shirt
-soft thin
Light on my skin
I feel confident in-
When someone dare say to me
"Your ***** are nice and all
But
You should put them away
Because they're already taken"
You are **** right,
These are my *****
And yes, they are nice
But because they are mine
Would you mind moving your eyes elsewhere
This body is mine
And no
It is not worn by me to display,
This body is worn by me to live
And if that means I want the person I love to hold it,
That does not make it theirs.

What's yours is I
I am art
Not a body.
Like you,
I have freckles
And in this shirt
You see the skin I grew afraid of
You see the patch of freckles
That as a kid
Was run away from because of
This patch of skin
Is simply more flowers
In the garden that this body is.
I am art.
Because there is pain in the beauty.
To this skin I welcome the one I love to touch
His hands find the flowers and takes care of them with gentleness
But the flowers
Are not his.

Why her
Why her
Why anyone other than me
Me-the young girl who loves you unconditionally
The fragile girl who cares for you so deeply
The one girl who understands your broken happiness
The girl who gave her all to you
Gives her all to you

She said she could love you better
She said you trusted her more
She said she knows you better
After a week?!
She had convinced you that I can't love you
If I can't love myself
***** she called me
****
Worth less than dirt
Do you think she loves herself?
Can you say you love yourself?
No-you can't
But
I know you can love
I've seen it
Felt it
Believed it
Basked in its radiance
Bring it back to me.

Why her
Why her
Why anyone other than me
How could you touch her
How could you let your lips
Touch anyone else's
When I would treat you like a god
If that's what you want
Beg at my hands and knees
For you to use me
Protect me
Because there is no one above you
With your flaws
Your mistakes
There is no one above you

I
Am mad at you.
I hate being mad at you
Hate being mad at you
Part of me is so hurt
That I wish I could hurt you back
This anger sets fire to my lungs
And I know that when I speak to you,
Smoke escapes my lips
So I try
To keep my mouth shut!
I am trying to suffocate the fire
But the fire is suffocating me too
If I could stop the fire from breathing I would
The fire would die
But so would I
I am dying
I can't tell when you are lying

I want to hurt you back
It wouldn't be hard to get someone else
In my bed
On my lips
I feel sick saying that
Sick to my stomach for thinking that
Like how I felt those couple of weeks
When I knew something was wrong
I DID know something was terribly, terribly wrong
I told you I felt something was terribly, terribly wrong
And you spoke with such patients "love, nothing is terribly, terribly wrong"
You lied
I trusted
I know that feeling well
It wasn't a wave of anxiety
It was truth
I wish I didn't trust you so easily
I have never trusted anyone so
Willingly
So lovingly
And you
Took advantage of that