A pack of cigarettes in hand
Smokes burned one by one
Smudges stain top of nightstand
Blinds shut to block the glaring sun
Holes worn through T-shirt
High-tops laced tight
Welcome mat encrusted in dirt
Dimly-lit room depressing sight
You are expert deceiver
Exactly like father
So long I've been a believer
Start wondering why I bother
Trying to tame restless feet
Directions walked previously unknown
Pressured to presume defeat
Surrender and let roam
I complain about insights I uncover
Problems too heavy to hold
Compulsive liar yet my lover
Think your excuses are growing old
Quick to clamber to conclusions
Can admit that much is true
You fill our house with illusions
A haze so thick I can't view through
You're straying from path I'm on
Desperate to save our love from getting sick
Play games with my head and string me along
Enjoying the agony you inflict
Your soul beautiful yet wild
Voice is music to my ears
Have done anything for you to smile
Guess now that means my presence disappears
Never next to you was I able to see straight
Adoration rendered me blind
Now I'm alone my vision returns too late
Answers revealed I was too afraid to find
Five in the morning
Can't sleep
Tormented memories
Stories told in time until I lose track
Moments perfectly carved in mind pester and tease
I yearn for the universe I'll never get back

I'd fall from hands a million times
So many occasions you've let me down
If knowing better I'd stay away
Keep giving me the runaround
And think I'm a glutton for punishment
When willing I am somehow charmed
Into the worst situations readily dive
So person you pretend to be is unharmed
Sees fireworks and calls name
Moment suspended in time
Everything is heaven in your presence
I would crush myself if it meant helping you climb
And sprinkle wishes on surface
It made you proud of me
And laughing stars lit up the skyline
Filled you with identities I couldn't flee
You were young when you tumbled headfirst
Defenseless to varying degrees of pain
Wouldn't even stray from my side
My heart what drove you insane
Laying on beautiful grass
There to wipe fine tears from my eyes
Roads visible from the windowsill
Been forced to inhale the dust that flies
Before you stepped from your spirit
I imagine you longed to be free
Just want to understand if I'm right
Sparkle assuming to silently agree
Like remnants of ground clinging to clothes
Eruption of dirt and desire
Gave birth to traveling attention
Upon future danced waiting to tire
Like edges aren't real if they aren't addressed
Our bodies make excuses
Just long to come first in your book
Heavy world plays games and uses
Hanging from cliffs by fingernails
Not the palms of your hands
To me is no permanent solution
A little lighter and minutes may understand
I yearn to be thing you need most
Pushed against wall so tight
Straining to support my body standing
Further from your sight
So life doesn't wear you out as much
For you straighten it's curves
You have to admit it takes strength
Deep breaths feel like what I deserve
And do little to change my circumstance
It is me who chose the easier route
Heights the obstacle blocking achievement
Be your back-up plan when in doubt
Because it is not what I had planned
It's giving up and caving in
Chance to come with new ideas
And willingness to hide within
Burn and do wrong in your haste to cover tracks
The universe shows your mistakes
Listening and looking for signs
I think life will relieve the aches
This is an inch from cataclysm
Chamber loaded in gun
My lips are wrapped around the barrel
Giving you opportunity to run
I hope you find what you are searching for
Sky where stare is fixed upon
For you I'm writing this
And I believe you are better off with me gone