it's hot coffee and warm paper cup steam
and illegible tattoos without a theme
it's late night eyes and restless hours
and cheap notebook paper towers

it's sleeping until noon and arriving late
because of weekday parties that couldn't wait
it's worn out chucks and shirts with holes
based in a religious background and thrift shop clothes

it's community cups and feet without shoes
seen by long eyelashes and the color blue
it's ink rubbing off on freckled hands
from crumpled papers thrown in trash cans

it's an improbable dynamic and an impossible feat
because of barely-earned titles and grinding teeth
it's the quiet thoughts and midnight dreams
that, come the sunrise, are not even feelings.

Trying to love you is like trying to live infinitely
Cause even roSes have thorns that make you bleed
The stArs have faults
And angels fall
What's the point in loving you at all?
Those freckles are stars in celestial connect the dots
How can one person alone beat all the odds
There's nothing left for the rest of us
No one ever asked you to be perfect
No way that happened by chance
TiMe to take a step back
Take a bow
Snap out of the trance
You cannot be as great as they make you seem
I'm waiting for you to come apart at the seams.

I gave my heart to you and ever since
It's been a caution-taped, mangled mess
I trust when I shouldn't and don't love when I should
Your name carved on my heart as if carved into wood
Because it will never go away no matter what I do
When you loved someone you'll always carry a piece of them with you
So when the tree falls and is burned away
Nothing changes and we're begging each other to stay
A new tree grows from the ashes like a Phoenix
But even I know what will happen next
Just when it starts to finally take root
It falls away, just like you
So we're grasping at straws as we fall to the ground
When a tree falls, does it make a sound?

When it's pitch black and blue outside
I can't help but to think
I can't help to think
About that one time
And the other time
And the next and the next and the next
Where all we used to do was stay up and text
And wish that we were breathing down each other's necks
With the brutal honestly and all the questions honey
What was so wrong about that?

When the sky is turning light and the sun's coming up outside
I can't help but to wonder
I can't help to wonder
About that one time
And the other time
And another and another and another
Where I would wake up and remember
How your smile broke through the night
And we'd fight and we'd fight and we'd fight
And then we'd go to bed mad and wake up just a little sad
What was so wrong about that?

When it's hot outside but I'm cold inside
I can't help but to remember
I can't help to remember
All the pretty butterflies
All the pretty blue lies
And all I felt that time and the other time and the last time
Where I'd fall asleep with your voice in my mind
And where I woke up expecting to be crying
After all the dreams I had of you
Of how you would kiss me out of the blue
And how that would never be
There'd never be a you and me
What was so wrong about that?

I'm waiting for the day that you ask
Why I text you so much even when you can't text back
Just so I can tell you that it's because you never text me
Not a hello, not anything
But I haven't seen you in forever, I mean,
I think the last time we actually spent time together was in October:Halloween
And honey your birthday is my password for my iPod (shh don't tell)
And when it's past midnight I don't want to talk to anyone else
I just want to talk or to see you or for God's sake, anything
Because I think I miss you more than I want to admit while breathing
You're busy I get that I know
But come on are you really too busy for me or is it all a show?

Of course, I know the words to that song
And I know why you are the way you are
I know the way that you think and how you're feeling
And I know you're trouble if I ever saw some

Because I know people like you and I know where this is going
Nowhere good with half a helping of depressing
Throw in a lovesick poet and a broken musician and, god--
What was I thinking?

So don't be surprised to know I'm in love
And you know what?
It might be the stupidest thing I've ever done
But I don't think that I would feel this way
Or write this way
If I wasn't.

Snow falls quickly and piles up
Nothing registers until there's too much
Little footprints that I'm following in the snow
Suddenly stop and I don't know where to go
The sky's a storm and the world's a mess
We all need some light to put this to rest
Rain falls down to melt it away
Drowning but breathing all the same
Washing away all thoughts of snow
Giving spring room to bloom and grow
When a bleeding heart peeks it's head
It sees the world all grey and dead
With more rain came snow and sleet
I can't see footprints- let alone my feet!
Maybe I need a shovel or a coat
But which one, I'll never know
Because it rains one day and snows the next
Then together they smother what was best
So what to do or where to go?
Maybe somewhere too warm for them both.

I look up at a star shooting across the sky and wonder
What would it be like if the entire world lined up tonight
Where we all got our kisses under mistletoe
And in our own little worlds, everything would be right
I wish that the stars would align and I could sleep
I wish that I knew if anyone stayed up at night thinking about me
I wish that the snow would come and that Christmas feeling would return
Because right now I just want everything to burn
So I think all I want for Christmas is that
Everything went right for once, and that it was a proven fact
Not just for me but for everyone else
So spill your secret wishes on stars everyone, they won't tell

i'm sorry i'm such a
c
o
  w
    a
      r
        d
and that i can't keep us moving forward
you have no idea how much i want this to be
but you deserve better than me
i know you don't understand as much as you say you do
i'm sorry i never meant to hurt
y
  o
    u
you're the one that would get hurt
i don't care about me anymore
i'm sorry i'm such a people
p
l
   e
    a
     s
      e
        r
and i wish there was a way i could make this easier
again i say you deserve better
and i'm not worth anything that matters
so i know you'll probably see this
and i kind of wish you would read it
because i am so
s
o
   r
     r
       y
and i wish you knew
everything that i've said
and everything i wrote  and you've never read
but then again this was up to you
and this, this is okay too

When I'm with you
Everything is different
Or just maybe
Everything's the same
Your touch is toxic
Burning holes in my skin
But it might as well be
The only thing keeping this alive
I don't know what to do
In person
I love you
Without you
I feel free
I need my space
But I just don't know
How to tell you
Or how to leave
How do I feel?
I wish I knew
I can't think about never
Touching
Kissing
Holding
You again
But I can't think about
Future
Commitment
Love
And not even **fear

when was the last time you actually felt anything?
let it course through your veins like clay and novocaine

your stomach flipping like dolphins
and your heart absorbing the endorphins

etching words in your skin until you bleed like you don't even know the feeling

of being in your sober mind more than just once or twice

because if we are going to do this I want to see your eyes close when we kiss
and feel your fingers shake
and let your skin hiss

i'm feeling everything for you and you're inhaling smoke fumes

i know it's not fair but I guess it doesn't compare to the mask you try to wear

made from cheap alcohol and the way I'll fall

ending in a broken eulogy at merely twenty
and that's not the way I want it to be

Okay.
Listen here.
Listen good.
I'm not saying most of this is about you
(Though maybe I should)
But I think you can read between the lines
I'm tired of telling my secrets
Is there anything old?
You should know how I write by now.
Is there anything blue?
You should know nothing blue is new.
Sometimes I just write
And don't know what it's about
Not until the end, that is
Good god,
you should see my walls...
So read it for yourself
And stop trying to
figure everything out
You can speak for
a reason
you know
Start writing
Your own
Song
Now
    .

You look like you could set the world on fire
With ***** blond hair and fire sign eyes
And a voice to split the mountains
Into canyons again

And I bet your world's on fire
But god, you're such a good liar
I see right through your wavy hair
Can't you see that it's not fair?

You've set my world on fire
And I feel ***** and broken and tired
I'm melting and helpless and falling apart
And instead of canyons, it's my heart

You are just a blond hair blue eyed
Major waste of time
But I can't help but stare
What is left for me there?

I don't know what I'm looking for anymore
I'm getting so bored
There's a waste of time in a beanie and a button down
Just around the corner babe
I remember that you said my name
And everything is falling apart right now

There's no purpose left
There's nothing left for me here
Just blond hair blue eyes
You're such a waste of time
I swear I'm losing my mind
And your girlfriend knows I'm insane

In the dark
In the deep November dark
The only thing left
Is a waste of time
Dressed to the nines

So I'll put on my best smile
Get my beauty sleep
I don't want to feel
Because it's all for a waste of time
Waiting for something real
To come along