He writes poetry
But no one knows

He writes poetry
He writes about love
And loss

He writes about smiles
And frowns

He writes about sorrow
And forgotten towns

He writes about how lost he gets
Caught up in his own mind

He writes poetry to
And about others

But no one knows

Know one knows the depth of his soul
Because they all choose to see the exterior
And that exterior screams

Preppy
And preppy
Don't have souls

Or so they thought
Until the day he was consumed
By his own poetry

The hour grows late.
The silence sets in.
The Night haunts me again once again.
Rest alludes me and sleep is but a
     broken dream.
Hope foolishly placed in a 'morrow
     that may not come.
Suffocating and broken it lays.
That which was once me.
For I am no longer, but what
     nightmare my fear feeds.
-Navahopi119

the sun drips
like
a
yellow yolk

oozes
down
the gold knots
of my spine
breathe the first of Spring days
the radio plays our favorite song

i see you backwards
quickly
all the times we had
vulnerable;
gone.

the sky is blue, the lake is blue
your eyes are blu
and they say i look like your
sister
oh gods. help me
i can’t feel anything
except you
and everything here is you

I was just a boy. I hated myself.

I had to be perfect. I hated myself.

Everyone loved me. I hated myself.

I was popular. I hated myself.

I had lots of friends. I hated myself.

My family loved me. I hated myself.

I was condemned to hell by my Baptist upbringing. I hated myself.

I dated girls. I hated myself.

I attempted suicide. I survived. I hated myself.

I came out. I struggled. I tried to love myself.

I met my best friend, my soulmate. He taught me to love myself.

He was murdered. I was destroyed.

I gave up religion. I accepted myself. I tried to love myself.

I mourned. I learn(ed). I battl(ed) depression. I suffer(ed) anxiety. I  accepted myself.

I tried to love myself.

I was fat. I hated myself.

I was too gay. I hated myself.

I was ugly. I hated myself.

I was unlovable. I hated myself.

A 17 year love crushed my soul. I tried, and failed, at loving myself.

I got ***. I hated myself.

I was successful. I tried to love myself.

I traveled the world. I was the consummate extrovert, the life of the party. I loved myself.

I fell in love. He killed himself. I was destroyed. I hated myself.

Am I unworthy of love? I hated myself.

I pour myself into helping others. Do I love myself?

I keep trying. I keep living.

Somedays are good. Somedays not so much.

Somedays I love myself. Somedays not so much.

Cumulous pillows
of insomniac depravity
drizzle keen pulp
unto the eye, hair wetting
mattress - springing
metal spasms
upon the spine of those
who dream.
Mellow morning
saltily floats up
from morbid
somnambulations

Don’t fall in love with me.
There are days when I get sad without a reason
And I just stare at the ceiling
Senseless thought running around my mind like phrase
With tears streaming down my face.

Don’t fall in love with me.
On those days, I don’t talk to anyone.
I just bury myself on my mattress
And think about how I became this mess of sadness.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I will become attached to you
And I will cry myself to sleep
If you don’t text me good night before you go to sleep
I will convince myself that it’s because you got tired of me.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I’m too much.
I will depend on you.
I need attention, much more than other people.
I’ll talk to you in metaphors and make you one.
I’ll write poems about you and open up notepad at 2 A.M.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I couldn’t stand you coming home to find me on the bathroom floor
Shaking and crying, with blood spilling from my wrists.
I couldn’t stand seeing the disappointment in your eyes.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I will pour everything I’ve left of me into you,
Every bit of love, until I have nothing to give.
Until I become completely empty.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I’m scared that my sadness is contagious.

Don’t fall in love with me.
I will replay your sweet words in my head
When I hate myself so much that I want to die.
Your words will be the only things that make me stay.

Don’t fall in love with me.
You will live in fear.
You won’t be able to leave me,
Because you’d know if you did, I wouldn’t have anything to live for.

Don’t fall in love with me.
Before I met you, there wasn’t a single person who could’ve made me stay.
You’re my reason now.

Don’t fall in love with me.
Because I will fall in love with you

We are jumping to conclusions
like some jump off random buildings
I think it's time we took a step back
to decide on what we want.

Some take knives to do the deed
some takes wives to fill a need
I take Rover on a lead because
he loves his nightly stroll.

Some are rolling with the punches
bells are tolling and the hunch is
Notre Dame's not far behind.

Pray to Jesus if you have to
throw the bones and
both will shaft you
look inside and you will find
the thing that we're all looking for.

In some crazy way
like  being loved
Poetry  gives me
Strength and
Motivation
at times it’s
all I  have
It’s where
I escaped
It’s Where I
feel right at home  
my happy
state of mind
Where I take
my mental
Essence to
a higher plateau
Where words
becomes Arts
Never ceased
to amazed
Let the ink
dance  with
my mind  
Tango enlightenment
Impossible to avoid
ink splattered
all over
my thoughts
It’s like swimming
In the  Black Sea
with full consent
into a black hole
Impossible to
let go
Orientation put
me into a dazed
But not for long
anticipating
memory fades
Ruined  expressions
like mind on fire
seeking for the  river
Put words together
analyzed all
the dance strides
my ink had taken
Scrutinized  
what It all means
and make sense
      of it all
Nevertheless
keep my insanity
Is The duel
being  fought
Enduringly
into the abyss of
The poetic  mind