I've conjured a clone
More successful, more attractive, more lively than me.
Taking them into my home,
I feed and take care of them, I polish their bolts and bits.
How I wish my bones could shine silver like their aluminum ribs.
I dream of being as productive and managing,
As talented, daring
Motivated, driven.
I sometimes get the urge to peek under my skin to search for foil bones,
But I crave more than the cold sensation of chrome.
   Tell me,
   Why do I feel this way?
   If I'm machine,
   Where will I go when you die?
   Where will I stay?
My dear friend, I do not have answers, I only have more questions for us to ponder.
However, I believe when I lay down to sleep
Your engine turns off,
And your gears stop turning.
When this happens do you imagine a dream?
Or do you imagine you are living?

Dots and dots                                                             ­ "Is it okay if I ignore  
Line my vision                                                           ­    Your text? It's not
I'm hoping to find my spot                                             Personal."
In your musky bedroom

Do you get high off this feeling?                                 "Don't worry,
Does your body become sweaty                                     I still love you,
Eyes get heavy                                                            ­       It's okay."
When you are certain of my displeasure?

These are the things                                                       "Won't you be mine?
I beg to hear when you swing                                          Don't worry,
Your hips on top of mine                                                    We're alright,
Love me until the day I die                                                  I don't love you."
                                                        "Goodnight."

the smokey memories of Summer
fan on high, combatting heat waves
hair glued to the forehead from sweaty laughter
on the phone for one, two, three many hours
always laughing

but now the sticky fire is gone
noses are runny and temples are cold
dry knuckles chafe against a keyboard wanting to smell the same laundry detergent from a Summer back in time
drying eyes redden as rivers flow into the scorching season
a wet upper lip trembles at time lost
hours on the phone, or lying in bed alone?
always trembling

I've done it again
Had homicidal intentions for the same thing
Telling myself to quit it just doesn't have the same fix as sinking my teeth into warm blood

Eat  Live  Starve  Repeat
That's the rhythm to the vampire beat
Is it a yearning or a needing?
A wanting or necessity?
I'm afraid to confront the ghosts of those I've murdered in my head
But for peace of mind I have to remain haunted

Lay your head down, sleepy head
Maybe one day you'll wake up dead
Like you always wanted to
The future is so loose when you can't sleep
But I know I slumbered once because I know you from a dream

Sweet dreams and melodies are what make me feel so sad
I close my eyes to hear your songs even though I know they're bad
Last night's memories are what make me feel so mad
I closed my heart then we had our laughs and I went back home to bed

You know not of what you do
It's a play in my thoughts that I act out where you love me and I love you
We have a bond irreplaceable and akin to the spark of a fire
Taller and taller the tips of the orange skyscrapers spread until they burn the sky with the lies in my head
I'm used to the feel of your fingers through mine though we've never held hands
The sensation of arms wrapped around me that aren't necessarily there
And when you said "I'm not that kind of guy," I couldn't help but cry
In my mind I've embraced you so many times, I kept asking myself how could this be my fourth crime?
All I can do is bite my lip and suppress the roaring in my chest of anger and distress
Because our relationship was a dream I had during a night where I never fell to rest

The world is a dangerous place to live in
Full of monsters and misbehaving
There's a boat on the shore so we better take it
Because summer's coming soon and the sun is fading

Yet something is wrong with the way I smile
It stays pristine but after awhile
My crooked frown explains my poor crown
Because you have to say "I'm in love,"
When I know there's doubt

Here's our last chance are we going to take it?
Sail off this land with our hearts cold, closed in
Not letting anyone in is this the way you want this?
I'm sorry I don't think I can make this journey
If you don't love me, dear God, just say it

The human condition is a disease that has spread so far and wide that those once considered monsters have become afflicted

Your veins stick out of your arms like needles
They pierce my eyes with tints of blue and green scattered across their lengths
Underneath is purple and red, a color we've all seen too many times
"But it's okay!" I try to say

Yet your veins keep pushing me away

Lines above and under lines form a pathway to your palms
Can my fingers climb that ladder and cling to the warmth of your hand?
"I love you." You say quite bland

Yet your veins keep choking me today

You
Where are you from?
We don't get along

Could
Be the dagger
You placed in my heart yet you

Bring
Me to a different
Point of peace

A
Pleasure I can't find
When down on my knees

Danger
In your eyes
I now realize

I
Mixed up my lies
For the truth this time

Never
Thought to think
About what you wanted

Saw
Signs but didn't
Care to know, was just being honest

Before
I make my depart
I must say, "I'm sorry I broke your heart."