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Chey Ferrill Feb 2016
Riddle me this, Angel boy,
are you a sinner
*or are you a saint?
Yep...
Chey Ferrill Feb 2016
Keep your hands to yourself,
he's no longer yours to touch.
I tried to play nice with you;
it was a temporary crutch.

Things are complicated enough,
stop trying to toe the line.
You need to understand
that the Angel boy is mine.
Yo. This ***...
Chey Ferrill Feb 2016
I’m not a drug addict
but you’ve become a bad habit
that I can’t seem to break.

I keep selling my soul
to your sickly sweet promises
to get my ******* fix.

They tell me I'm weak
because I keep coming back...
but so do you.

Which of us is the addict,
angel boy?
Looks like we both can't seem to shake it.
Cut
Chey Ferrill Sep 2017
Cut
porcelain wrist my blade doth kiss
drawing blood unto its lips

drop by drop until i'm drained
nothing left within my veins

the beating stops, my heart doth still
there's nary a drop of blood to spill...
I hate myself. I always have.
Chey Ferrill Apr 2016
You wield your words like knives to make me bleed,
and while I welcome my self-inflicted agony,
the cuts from your barbed tongue are unwanted.
Chey Ferrill Sep 2017
My demons howling at the door,
are desperate to get inside.

I debate for but a moment,
and then fling it open wide.

Better to brace myself for impact,
than to run and try to hide...
It's dark inside my head. Who turned out the lights?
Chey Ferrill Feb 2016
You don't deserve to miss me,
and I didn't deserve to cry.
I did my best to keep you,
but you filled my head with lies.

My heart still beats your name,
though I can't trust what you say.
I gave you everything I had
and you threw it all away...
I'm not even mad... just hurt.
Chey Ferrill Feb 2016
You tasted of heartache and confusion,
broken promises and disappointment.
I was desperate to heal your wounds,
sooth your aches and show you joy.

Now I taste the exact same...
Chey Ferrill Nov 2016
we had poison on our lips,
a noose around our necks,
and knives in our hands
our fate was our own
but only if we were ready to die
because there's always a condition
Chey Ferrill Jan 2016
boy with the name of an angel,
you make my heart beat faster,
my pulse race and my palms sweat.

i fear our love should not exist,
for you are a holy being
and i am a mere mortal.

shall we sink into the depths of sin
together?
(I'm literal **** and this boy deserves better... but I'm greedy.)
Chey Ferrill Apr 2016
If you've been waiting for the best moment to leave, you should take it. I'll watch you go with a smile on my face and scars on my heart, but I won't bother to stop you. It isn't worth it; I've shed more tears for you than you ever deserved. Don't worry, the door is still open from the last time you left.
I doubt I'll ever get over it.
Chey Ferrill Apr 2016
How loud do I have to scream
before you realize that I'm broken?

How often do I have to say I'm hurt
before you kiss the pain away?

How many tears do I have to shed
before you love me like I love you?
I don't know.
I'm still mad I guess.
Chey Ferrill Jan 2016
I believed that you loved me,
though I didn't know for sure.

I believed that I could be enough,
and that you would feel the same.

I believed that we could work,
but I was the only one trying.

You didn't want me
when asked who you would choose.

Why would you deserve me
when you change you mind?
I don't know what to do.
Chey Ferrill Apr 2016
I was ripped apart months ago
and stitched myself back together.

I fear the seams won't hold...
I've never been good at sewing.
I'm better than I was, but I'm still hurt.
Chey Ferrill Feb 2016
Dishonesty is your compulsion,
lies flee readily from your lips.
Even now I cannot say
which truths you decide to skip

It's only a matter of time
before you finally come clean.
I'm sick of all the secrets kept;
say what you ******* mean.
Idk
Chey Ferrill Jan 2016
They told me
"love is beautiful"
and I believed it...

But why?

Why has something so wonderful,
something so warm,
made me ugly?
Life *****.
Chey Ferrill Feb 2016
They keep telling me
"things will get brighter".

He took the sun with him,
so how can it get lighter?

I hate to be a quitter,
but I guess I'm not a fighter...
I'm angry and trembling, and it's been this way for weeks. That's not about to change.
Chey Ferrill May 2018
You don't have to understand,
for I know I can't explain...
Yet all the sweet things you say
now fill my heart with pain...

I wish I could regret it,
but loving you was sweet.
The only part that I would change,
is when you fell for me...
I'm sorry.
Chey Ferrill Nov 2016
You're the love that comes too late,
following in another's wake...

You're the love they love to hate,
kissing scars you didn't make...

You're the love that believes in fate,
giving a heart they plan to break...
Seriously, I don't know what to tag things as.
Chey Ferrill Feb 2016
You are the person with whom my heart I did share,
but you also taught me of hurt and nightmares...

I knew not of joy before you came along,
but I was also a stranger to heartache this strong...
I'm tired of waking up in a panic, prepared to lose you again.
Chey Ferrill Nov 2016
glassy eyes that used to glow,
empty smiles used for show

you won't say it; she already knows
claim you'll stay, but you plan to go

your skipping glances told her so
SHRUG
Chey Ferrill Jan 2016
Good luck finding someone
that can love you like I did.

Like I do.
It's not past tense.

Not yet.
Not yet. Maybe not ever.
Chey Ferrill Apr 2020
Pretty little flowers dance
in their garden green

I pluck a few to form a crown
befitting of a Queen

It brings a smile to her face,
her features so serene,

‘Tis no doubt within my mind
she is the fairest to be seen . . .
Idk fam, I haven’t written a poem in a wHILE.
Chey Ferrill Mar 2016
You are the reason I wake
in the middle of the night,
with terror clawing my chest
and fingers fumbling for light.
Waking in a panic has stopped, but the dreams are relentless.
Chey Ferrill Mar 2016
my fingers trace words along your spine,
and draw pictures upon moon-kissed skin.

i love you more than i will ever love another,
yet i fear the risk that accompanies such emotion.

i like to think that the pleasure is worth the pain,
but only time will tell...
Chey Ferrill May 2018
Snakes masquerading as friends...
Shed the facade you have crafted;
I can see your forked tongue
tasting the air.
I'm not a fool.
Chey Ferrill Feb 2016
"Do you love me?"*

In the dark she whispers,
leaning up to kiss his lips.

He doesn't hesitate to promise;
it reminds her of a script.

Both know the lie is there;
a beat of her heart skips.

It's an iceberg in the water
to sink their relationship.

No...
I don't know .-.
Chey Ferrill Apr 2016
Sometimes she misses him,
and others, she doesn’t.
Usually she simply tries
to hate him…
Random thoughts. uwu
Chey Ferrill Jan 2016
You shattered me
and I need to be fixed.

I taped my heart together,
using all the splinters I could find.

But my hands are shaky
and my work is cheap.
I write a lot about my problems... Sorry. </3
Chey Ferrill Jan 2016
Lies cloaked in promise,
drip from lips I love to kiss.
The mouth I've come to trust,
speaks words dipped in sugar.

Your pinky links with mine,
you assure me that all is well.
No matter what happens,
you promise to stay.

It's a lie...
beautiful deception disguised as love.

I hand you my heart,
advise to handle with care.
You assure me that you will,
make me believe it's safe.

And it is...
until you lose interest...
I'm really confused. .-.
Chey Ferrill Jan 2016
All the pretty houses look like tombs,
Trees turn to corpses,
dead without knowing.
Skeletal fingers scratch the sky
blot out the moon and the stars
and all the pretty things I trust.
Winter winds continue to howl outside,
demand entry into my room, my life.
I want to scream, run, close the curtains...
Instead, I open the window
and let the demons rush in,
because surrender is easier than fighting.
I don't even know...
Chey Ferrill Apr 2016
I want to paint red Xs on my skin,
and play a sinful game of tic-tac-toe.
Chey Ferrill Jan 2016
someone once told me
time heals all wounds

*i fear they were lying to me
Chey Ferrill Apr 2016
I hate who I've become,
but I forget who I used to be...

You turned me into something
forged of bitter jealousy.

This ugly creature with my face
couldn't possibly be me...
****.
Chey Ferrill Feb 2016
You used to tell me I was beautiful
and that you would never leave,
promised there was no one else
you loved as much as me.

I used to think you wanted me,
believed every word you breathed,
until you proved that it was false,
and you would rather she.

Ultimately I was left alone,
a simple blip in time.
You packed your bags that very day
and told me I'd be fine.

I assure you that I am not,
and that I will never be...
But you wouldn't know the truth,
because you aren't here to see.
Why am I still hurting? Ugh. I'm stronger than this...
Chey Ferrill Feb 2016
Spend your hours with me,
and together we'll grow old.
You will be my silver,
and I can be your gold.

Offer me a smile
and I will surely swoon.
Let me be your ocean,
and you can be my moon.

Request my hand in marriage,
and you can have my life.
You will be my husband
and I can be your wife...
I don't know what I'm doing.

— The End —