A star dances
from my window
and I watch in awe -

as silent as the night,
and as vast as this sky,
I am empty
and I am alone

but somehow,
someway,

I will continue to dance

There is yellow on the leaves,
they shiver in this air, tremble
at the rain that falls
around them; it is a lovely day today

Grey hangs from the sky,
droops around the pavement so wet, rustles
the darkening daytime light
outside the window; it is a lovely day today

I sit inside this heated room
and yet, I feel the shiver from outside, I feel
the rain that hangs from this grey colored
sky, I am in awe at the yellow leaves that fall

it is a lovely day today

on the wires

they sit;
high above the rooftops

just barely above

the clouds - I squint my eyes - they are
but
dots on a line;

I can barely see them and yet,

I know what they are, and I know
what they can do - the window
frames them as so -

It is getting colder - I feel it
in the air; it will be time to return home

soon

and
I will do so grudgingly -

but for now,
I watch those specks
and as I do,

I wonder

what it would be like to sit there among them

I'll love you
like an orange -

Something so easy
to handle,
so easy to
share -

A soft kind of love
that's already there,
that you just have
to take
the step

Peaches sit on my window,
Where emptiness had brought
Them here –

My phone rings
But no one calls,
I just wanted so badly
To see a flower grow
Where
Periods
Don’t stop a sentence.

Couple together,
walking in the rain - pretty;
I walk with myself

You broke
what you didn't even hold

Shattered

those pieces of me
so fragile,
without even saying

a word

and all the while
I would've torn everything from me
just to be with

you

She closed the door gently then,
Shutting the space between
us then;
and then,

silence filled my head

not something quiet
or when thoughts come to talk,
but the silence that sits there
quietly as it knows,
something that was once there

is no longer here

she dances in the light -
I see the outline of her
move and undulate before me,

waves that never stop to crash
and a shore that never seems to leave -

she dances in the mirror -
I watch her shape before me
become clear and clearer in this light,

she smiles and I smile back -

a dance that I don’t want to stop

She scratches at my head
I’m scared you’ll come in
“Do not worry”, she tells me
“I am here but for a second”
Then why stop at all?
She pushes the hair behind her ear,

She is beautiful

“I am here because I wanted to be,
can you say the same?”

I scratch at my head

I really can’t say
other than it was nice
to be here with you

She smells of strawberries,
ice cream on a
melting, runny day

She speaks of blueberries,
waffles in the morning -
hot and warm,
comfy -
snuggled, next to you

I smell strawberries so often;
I hear blueberries so soon,
and every time I do,
still - I think, I speak

of you

She was everything -
But everything doesn't last forever,
and neither did she -

Happiness was
the clothes she wore,
but sadness

was the words she spoke
between lines of tears
that shattered everything

I am trying to learn
how to smile
again:

with a laugh and a
struggle, a thought
and a grin - I will learn
to smile

again
and again

So little
is as perfect
as right now, and

so few things
are as wonderful
as it is

right now

I know you don't understand
and I know you may never -
but tomorrow will be here,
regardless of the rain,
and when the sun shines
you will see,
that you always were
enough

There are stacks
          of old paper -
my old thoughts.

Rough and torn,
          there are many -
they tell my life.

On such old, sad
          ground - I walk;
I walked here many times.

Life will continue
           and continue
to stack - and I

will continue to write.

I wish to
lay down beside you
in the soft,
sweet
confines of your arms; never fearing, nor
worrying;
never having to think,
only
to dream - How lovely
this all feels next to you

that orange smiled

from the open hands
of the trees

it danced
and rejoiced
when it saw the good - there -

the ghost, from this past rain
began to wallow
and whisper to me

look at
look at
look at
how happy this all is

it had stopped now
- of course - what was new
of something meant to pass, but I didn’t worry,
it was all okay

I looked at the sky, that

orange,
and I said to myself

look at how happy this all is

It's hard being someone
and even harder
being you

It was hard waking up
today; I rolled over to the swirls
in my coffee - the swirls in my head -
I couldn’t - can’t - think straight; the world
was a blur and I was in the midst of those terrible, awful,
beautiful swirls.
I hate it,
when I feel this way - so slow, so tired -
a Puppet.
I suppose,
if nothing else - that is why these sheets
comfort me so; I am alone with my thoughts
- for better or worse -
as time guides my fragile hands to crease
and curl
what covers me whole;
I am learning to make my bed
so I can learn
to make myself.

You are beautiful
as I write this,
therefore, you are

You are wonderful
as I say this,
therefore, you are

You are everything
as I even begin to think this,
therefore, you are

You are my love
as I learn to love -
You are
You are
You are

Snowflakes in
summer,
        Tombstones
In grass

         Though the names
are
  Buried,
       and memories past,

       remember
remember

your name
      too
shall last

When I will meet you
there will be no applause,
no getting stuck in the rain -
just you and me
and the fear and the excitement
with what's to come -
I don't hold the answers,
and I never will,
but when I will meet you
I will be the same,
only my head will be full
with silly thoughts
and silly words
trying to prove that I can -
For when I will meet you
I will simply be
Me

When the flowers die
There’ll be no bloom -
no person to pick them for the one they love,
for when the flowers die,
the sun will weep
over how beauty
will no longer be seen

Why do you scare me?

I'm not sure
and maybe
I won't ever be -

I push the soft confines
of the blanket
to cover me whole

I just wish you didn't

I hastily turn the light off

When you're lost
and needing direction,
turn to this, as you would,
and know
you will be found

When you're freezing
and have no warmth to give,
turn to this, as you may need,
and know
Spring is on its way

When you're blind
and have forgotten how to feel,
turn to this, as it may come,
and know
that you're still beautiful

When you've given
all that you may possibly give,
turn to this, as it may seem,
and know
that you are truly enough

my dog has depression,
can’t drag itself out of bed; it lays in the kitchen and looks out the window,
wondering, worrying, whining about the light - about the window and the view; it never has
anything much to say,
or if it does,
it doesn’t amount to much, anyway; but it’s okay, it’s just my dog -
it’s not me, anyway; my dog has blue eyes - wish they were brown; all my friends have brown,
and they all seem happy; my dog can’t walk straight; it’s loud,
it’s annoying,
sometimes it smells; my dog, my dog, my dog, I tell you about my dog;
sometimes I think, it’s more important than me, I mean -
I’m not my dog, anyway; I’m not as interesting; I can’t come and say hello and all those things
that make you people smile and giggle and laugh; and when there’s a pause - a really awkward pause -
I can’t look at you
and have all that - your - worry just disappear, like that; I once screamed and howled and danced at
the moon, and my dog just - stared; but does it really matter - my dog was on a comfy bed, and
the way it sat; the same place where it sleeps -
I tell you about my dog,
I tell you about my dog;
I tell you about it all the time, for

I don’t know how to talk about

me

We met
when the cold just began
to talk -
Our Conversations being carried
by the ghosts that sprang from
our words -
You left an imprint,
something,
I'm afraid,
that will never seem to part -
I called you beautiful
and you never called me back;
and so now as I breathe
my lonely words,
No one's there to watch
my conversation carry away
with the ghosts

can you imagine

growing old?
to see - to smell
the flowers grow

year after year?

to have your love
in such a smile,
and hold it so close

year after year?

to see the wrinkles
snuggle into a blanket called
our skin, yet - we don’t mind -
as year after year

we grow like the flowers -
and I will have no fear for age nor death nor worry
for I will know - I have lived, and I have lived

with you

But I saw the world
scream your name
in a flash of colour
that scarred my brain -
You were a smile
in an instant that
lasted forever
and filled my world -
But a second gone too soon
that I could never catch,
that I would remember
for all that I said