Let me keep this simple - I do not
like my face, my hair, the veins that
pop and throb and burst from
my hands; I do not like my voice or
the way it sounds and scratches at
this air, this space, this empty layer
of skin and feelings that hang around
me like a bog. I woke in my ****, clawed
at my eyes to have them open; I banged
and shouted at my face to have it look
differently, slightly, highly better than
this but instead of doing as I commanded,
it stopped and smirked and smiled at me
with such god-awful bravado that as I turned
it barked at me from the glass bubble that
could so easily shatter, I know you - like no-
one else - and that scares me the most. I was
in a class, windows peaked open, and I
swore I heard a voice - it was my own.
I heard you, I heard you for the first time
then, but you did not say “I’m scared”, you
just told me, I know, I know, I know this
can be scary, but that is okay, that is
okay, you are okay.

I am okay.

she dances in the light -
I see the outline of her
move and undulate before me,

waves that never stop to crash
and a shore that never seems to leave -

she dances in the mirror -
I watch her shape before me
become clear and clearer in this light,

she smiles and I smile back -

a dance that I don’t want to stop

There are stacks
          of old paper -
my old thoughts.

Rough and torn,
          there are many -
they tell my life.

On such old, sad
          ground - I walk;
I walked here many times.

Life will continue
           and continue
to stack - and I

will continue to write.

I see myself -
wrinkles
cover my eyes,

a smile
surrounds my words
and I

am old,
but I am happy

and he asked me
Love - do you feel that for her?
and I, feeling my heart thump thump,
         waited
for the words to find themselves
         waited
for my breath to not stumble -

If we were to grow old,
I would gladly talk to her grave
until I was beside her

She smells of strawberries,
ice cream on a
melting, runny day

She speaks of blueberries,
waffles in the morning -
hot and warm,
comfy -
snuggled, next to you

I smell strawberries so often;
I hear blueberries so soon,
and every time I do,
still - I think, I speak

of you

There is yellow on the leaves,
they shiver in this air, tremble
at the rain that falls
around them; it is a lovely day today

Grey hangs from the sky,
droops around the pavement so wet, rustles
the darkening daytime light
outside the window; it is a lovely day today

I sit inside this heated room
and yet, I feel the shiver from outside, I feel
the rain that hangs from this grey colored
sky, I am in awe at the yellow leaves that fall

it is a lovely day today