I can't believe
she actually loves me
how could she?
Who cares.
I am happy
and nothing. Nothing!
will ruin it for me.

"EBN recently added 159 friends.
Do you know any of them?"
Are you just one of them?
Do you mean anything to her?
Or are you just another Facebook friend?

I've found 24 scars
on my hands
13 on the right, 11 on the left
I wish I knew
what they meant

This is a cry for help
Not just another metaphor on death
not describing how I hurt myself
Not a poem about pain
or thinking I'm insane

This is a cry for help
Save me, Before I't's just too late
before I do something I regret
before the note is signed
before I lose my mind

This is a cry for help

I am I
am I?

I saw you
I talked to you
I ate with you
I hugged you
but still
I can't believe you are real

Does the artist define the art
or does the art define the artist?

Botany
of the growing hearts
on the track
that leads to heaven

Lobotomy
on the greatest mind
that you
could ever find

stop trying
don't even start
why?
because of that:

I am sorry Margo
but I cAn't let go
Even though I tried
I can't leave it aLl behind

every time I Ran away
I found that my waY
is on A track
leaDing me back

in my Home I
always fouNd my
Father waiting for
me aT the door

He would say:
'Son Please don't go away
I love you'
I love you too

Can I build a castle
from remains of shattered glass?

My mental defects
are like cracks on the wall
I look through them
Into whole different worlds

One shows me a world
where pain isn't real
and I am free to slay
who ever I wish to ****

One other crack reveals
a realm of black rain
where I see nothing,
nothing but pain

One glance through another
shows me a world
where no one loves me
and everything's cold

Once I glanced into a world
as hot as the sun
and I was the one
who burnt it all down

One world is showcasing me
as I'm stabbing my heart
uselessly trying
to tear it apart

One of them earths
reveals me as a wreck
while I am swinging
hanged from the neck

One of the cracks
shows nothing at all
that is the one
I fear will break down the wall

My heart
is that
of a deadman

it's not beating
has no feeling
Knows no pain

I can't tell you what is in my head
I'll shout on you instead
"I liked you better dead"

If I ever loved you
it was after you had died

Don't feel bad, my dear
it is me that is to fault
for the unfortunate result

your living figure haunts me
more than your ghost ever could

So hush, don't cry
don't waste your tears
on my unyielding ears

After all, you are still dead to me

I can not save me
I can not change my mind
I've been held down
And left you half-alive
I'm stuck in this nightmere
I'm closing down my mind
I can't go on, I'll close my eyes
I can't save my life,
I will die to save you.

I am fire
a burning flame

You pushed me away
prevented me from scorching your skin
stopped me from causing you pain

Distanced me from your life
prevent me from living a mark
stopped me from hurting you

I never meant to burn you
all I wanted was
to let you feel my heat

This distance only makes me burn stronger
until my flames can
touch you again.

distance can be measured
by the sadness in my heart
for I am feeling worse
the more we are apart

For years I did not dream
it was not uncommon
for me to wake up
and know I dreamed of nothing in the night

For years I only dreamed of gloom
It was not uncommon
for me to wake up in the middle of the night
and feel a shadow
hunting me
forbidding me to sleep

But now it's different
You are a light
against my shadows
I dream of you
and wake up happy

For years I did not dream
it was not uncommon
for me to wake up
and know I dreamed
of nothing in the night

For years I dreamed of gloom
It was not uncommon
to wake up at midnight
and feel a shadow
hunting me

Your presence changed it
You were a light
against my shadows
I dreamed of you
and woke up happy

But, now you are gone
my dreams are back
and I can't sleep
without the fear
of dreaming of you

You killed a part of me
it only hurts less
because time
has spread it
through
my body

Flowers on a grave
midgets in a rave
colours with no name
filling you with shame
throwing down your shield
while strolling through a field
picking up a sword
So young it's old
You won the fight
Power-up unlocked: flight
Congratulations!
You have met our expectation
now back to school
You fool

I wanted to be alone
but couldn't resist
the fireworks

I went back in
hiding
escaping
cried myself to sleep

I've been cut
and scarred
many times before

my desire
toward fire
had got me burnt

but I never knew
a flame could scar
until you

can a bird
fly
with broken wings?

can I
love
with a broken heart?

I will
try
to fly
to you

My walls of sanity are cracking
and I am leaking

Every single one
is a bottle of glass
some are big, some are small
some are short, some are tall
some are thin, some are fat
some are rough, some are flat
but they all
contain a scroll

When going trough their life
word are written in the scroll
the story of their life
the way they walk the earth
the secrets that they keep
what they feel deep
inside

the bottle is often scratched
some are even cracked
reminisce of when they were attacked
some didn't come out right
and some
have fell apart

I am just a pile of broken glass
protecting a scroll
please don't try to pick it up
you'll get cut

*****

just like that

you're gone

I'm so weak
it makes me sick

I don't even have the gut
to spill them out

End my misery
hurry
I can't take it anymore

So I told her
That I love her

And she told me
that she doesn't know
how she feels about it
but she does enjoy

our conversations
our talks late into the night
our small openings into
each others minds

and that was enough for me
to keep me
happy(?)

In the end
we all die
but right now
I can just cry

How do you tell someone you love
that you love them so much
thats you can't even tell them
how much you love them?

If I ever hurt myself
it is to
not hurt
you

I will never hurt you
yet

don't think you understand,

I don't want to believe I am this horrible human being.
I've done things, I've hurt people in ways you wouldn't believe I could. I broke people, some of them may never be repaired. The worst part? I enjoyed it; Seeing their hate, their despise, watching their mental walls crumble filled me with wonder and joy.

I don't want to believe I am broken, but the past haunts me, and I can't even remember it, but I know it's there - the horrible truth. When I try I can almost remember - but it hurts too much.
People have hurt me, broke my heart, broke my trust, crushed my faith in humanity and left me scared for life. If only I could remember why.
I don't want to love you, you deserve better, someone beautiful and whole like you, but I do. I love you.

I do

Although I am madly attracted to you
I'd rather cry on your shoulder
then *** on your face

Does it make me crazy?
what would you say?
If only you knew
If only you knew...

I'm sorry for the person I could have been
I didn't want to ruin the future you had seen

I'm sorry for the person I  became
try to understand, this is who I am

I'm sorry but it had to be this way
for me to feel okay

Righ now I would tear down my mind
if it would help me to let you inside

The sun is shining
the birds are singing
your love is flowing
like water

Drinking it all
is making me whole
you are fixing my soul
my love

I'm Joker
Looking for Quinn
but Poison ivy
strangled my heart

I want to **** you
but first
I'll **** myself

I am dead, rotting
the flies are buzzing
the smell
is unbearable
the maggot are hatching
eating my skin
pealing off my disguise
I am
The lord of the flies

I'm so lost
I can't even write
I tried to force myself
but this is all that came out
I wonder why
I have these feelings
I have no idea
how I should be dealing
with them, after all
my life is great
but all I want
is to suffocate.

In my sea of confusion
my attraction towards you
in an island of concent

How many times
can you stab a heart
before it tears apart?

You are my hero
you came to save me
from myself

I always had a cell
somewhere I would dwell
A place where I could hide
what I feel inside

I was so alone
as if you had known

One day you arrived
and left the past behind
You opened up the door
like no one done before

Pandora of reality
a mirror of insanity

As the bats all fled away
you decided you will stay
with the only dove
my love

I wish that I could give
a fraction of what I recieve

You must understand
you are more than just a friend
you are so much more to me
because you
                                                               set me
                                                                                                                  free

When I can't find a meaning in my life
she is always there
When nothing makes sense
she is always there
When I think I can't go on
she is always there
When I think I have gone mad
she is always there
When I thing of giving up
she is always there
When I want to die
she is always there

She will always be with me
my bitter, lonely
misery