So many things
I should be doing
but instead
I am
writing

Writing is awesome
writing is nice
unless you have to do it
like
twice.

I fell in love with you
amazing paper girl

I want to know you better
amazing paper girl

you only want to be an
amazing paper girl

I must stop loving you
amazing paper girl

Because if I don't
amazing paper girl

I will tear you
amazing paper girl

In my search of
The real amazing girl

This is not a poem
I am not a poet
And I am not
Writing it

To construct my profile
all you need
is this page

On my Facebook
you'll find
my friends

On my YouTube
the things
I want to show

On my Tumblr
Some of my
favorite quotes

But here
you can really see
me

Broken, forsaken, and lonely,
smart, stupid and gnarly,
sad and mad but mostly,
alive

I take my role
in this play
every single day

If you find a place
a non scared face
of my ill-treated heart

You may stick your knife in it
see what you can hit
that hasn't been before

Two people are attracted
but they can't be together
life
is in their way.

I can fall in love
with someone I don't know

But can I fall in love
with someone I know too well?

If I decide
to give you
a part of my heart
to stab into
please do

My right hand smell of steel
my left hand taste of it

I hold the razor in my right hand
shaking, like I always do
I drench the metal in my flesh
feel the pain I am so used to

The shaking stops
my mind is clear
I drop the blade
escape with fear

What have I done?

I try to hide but I am bare
the evidense are there:
My right hand smell of steel
my left hand taste of it

my toe
in the water
testing
what will bite

my mouth
in the water
trying
to bite back

my body
in the water
ready
to be eaten alive

I don't get why our talk
would make it so much better
but that's how feelings work
No sense whatsoever

You brought
a new taste
to my life
It's the taste
of you
the taste
of love

The legend says
the freak-show
of Chicago
has the greatest monster of them all

They have the usual
of course
a two headed lion
and a horned horse

but nothing comperes
to the beast upstairs
In an abandoned dressing room
it keeps it's own gloom

the beast hides within
not wanting to be seen
the curtains are drawn
not allowing the truth to be shown

but if you overcome the fright
and shed a light
the reality will become clearer
the beast
is in the mirror

Did you knew that
when a heart
is damaged
it will never grow back
how it used to be?

A scared tissue
Won't solve the issue
it tries to
keep you
alive

I am not the drizzle,
Nor the hurricane.
I am just the rain
That falls down on your cheeks.

She may not be
the one for me
but she doesnn't need to be
to make me happy

A scarecrow is standing
lonely in the field
scaring away
all of the birds

A scarecrow is somber
because he knows
the birds will never like him
he will always be alone

In summer he stands
his timber body
cracking in the heat
as the farmer harvests his grain
not batting an eye
at his old fiend

In autumn he stands
he is left alone
neglected
he can only watch over
as the new plants
grow on the land

In winter he soaks
as the land take in
all of the rain
as he stand in the goo
he simply wants someone
to take him in too

In spring, the season of love
all he can hear are the voices above
the crows and the sparrow
screaming at him
he is frozen
able only to grim

As he know only spite
he spots something bright
shining with happy and glee
between the flowers flies free
a beautiful, colorful butterfly

He then understands
that he is the one
that keeps the butterfly safe

all the heat,
all the cold,
all the drought,
all the rain,
all the loneliness,
all the pain,
are fine
as long as the butterfly
can shine

Lord time is loading a gun

  First, he loads
  the seconds
  The first time you met, the way you felt

  The minutes
  soon after
  Your first date, knowing it's fate

  The hours
  afterwards
  Sweet talks into the night, the regret after the first fight

  Next slightly fazed
  he stacks in the days
  Getting to know each other, finding love in one another

  months goes down the Musket
  as he seals the casket
  The special why she smiled, awaiting your first child

  Lastly, with tears
  he forces in the years
  You grow old together. Time has cut her tether

Now his work is done
It's time to fire the gun.

I want to hurt
I want to be hurt
I want to feel pain
again

I gave you my heart
that integral part
now all I can do
is care for you

Although this love
is nothing but great
I want to feel
hate

Trees, gods of summer, defend you from light
Provide you with fruit and cast pain away.
Trees in the summer give from their might, shed you as you find your way

In autumn they wither away
Wounded by ice spears and and arrows of cold.
Leaves fall, naked and stark they stand.

In winter, in cold, they crack, and they fall
As clouds take the sky, they concead the battle.
Nothing lasts forever.

In spring they may rise, with heat and some love all that was lost might come again.
The mighty gods, lost in the fight, may rise to the battle
In summer they protect from the light. Until winds of winter come again...

I am so ******* happy right now I don't even care this is not a poem.

I promised you the truth
then why are you surprised
when I hurt you?

It is weird
how your word
turned me
into you

Physical pain
is a restrain
on the human mind

Try and take a hit
see if you like it
But beware of what you find

When running from the black
escaping from the dark
Look out of what lies ahead

Is it really comfortin'
cutting your own skin
Or is just a shade of red?

What is so scary in the blue
when looking on the lines you drew
That you finally seem calm?

Does the pain allow you not feel yellow
just like an old fellow
Because of this power in your palm?

Or does it ease your mind
off the life you left behind
And is the solution you could find?

The river of emotions never stops flowing.
The well of sadness is never full.

We were Uranium
Our half life
measured in mere months

Our love
was radioactive
emitting electrons
to each other's hearts

the power of mundane
decayed our irradiated hearts
to Lead

I am giving all my love outside
while keeping all the pain inside
I try to not let it show
but deep within it starts to grow

Like poison ivy which feeds on pain
drinking drops of blood, not of rain
around my heart it wrapped
and slit it all apart

As my heart is shred to thin
I know that I have died within
I need a fire to burn it whole
For a chance to save my soul.

This seed I planted deep with hate
I can not incinerate
For I can not ignite the flame
to burn down what I have became

They say the light at the end of the tunnel
is just a guy smoking a camel
but I don't care at all
because in his hand he holds the key
to burn this vile inside of me

Will you be this guy?
Will you use the key?
Will you burn this plant?

I can't.

I want to make something
from this void

Once a year
I lift up these weights
and carry them with me

Unlike others
who carry them everyday
I can only lift them on this day

And yet,
Even in my normal life
I can still see them there, in the corner

These weighs
remind me of war
and the pain that comes with it

Can't I just be happy?
just this one time?

Why can't I be happy
without feeling guilty?

Maybe I'm
asking for too much.

I think realized why
realized why I cry
when you complimenet
me

you are pulling out
the blades
stuck in my heart
and it hurts

this sweet pain
it hurts
the best way
it could hurt

Running against the wind
as I am fighting windmills
for my health

Now is the time
unlike the other days
to write a phrase
time for a rhyme

Why? do you ask?
I'll get right on it
to write a sonnet
is my task

It might go
something like this
or like that
will it flow
like a good kiss?
I hope it won't fall flat

I have the muse
I have the words
I have the need
I have the force
yet when I try, I come up dry
and end up, for the worse

I want write you a poem
to explain how I feel
I want to translate my thoughts into words
Because this is so surreal
but all I can do
is write this
to you

It took me a while,
but now I'm certain
I fell in love
with the wrong person

I gave you something
that most did not see
I gave you a piece
of myself to keep

but you threw it away
and laughed at me
as it broke

you ****** up

I understand that this is not the right way
I undertstand that I should come and talk to your face
But you must understand that I can't
I couldn't stand you telling me to leave you alone
to go away

You must understand
there is only one way you could hurt me more
then if you let me inside
if you don't

I know you would rather I live you alone
I know you don't want my help
you didn't ask for my help
you would rather I will be gone
and leave you alone
but

You must understant that
It hurt's me to see you lie
It hurt's me to see you fake a smile
It hurt's me every time you put on a mask
It hurt's me every time you pretend everything's fine
It hurt's me when I can't ask what isn't right
It hurt's me when you shut me outside
It hurt's me
more than anything else

You must understand that I can't
Just sit and watch you in pain
And pretend like everything is alright

you must understand
that I care
more than anything else
I care
for you

You must understand
I don't know what else I can do.

Don't be afraid to hurt me
Your knife will not find a space
to stab my tortured heart
between all the blades
jabbed in it before

your compliments
are roses on my grave

beautiful
precious
useless