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"unfallen" poems
This morning, out in lightly falling snow, I heard geese as flights of them flew overhead. Like a shot I was ten again, Grammy and I at the lake. I’d sit in the bow of my canoe, pulled awkwardly ashore, neck craned back to watch the sky. I was always sad to see them go; their calls so many cold goodbyes. Ice encrusted water slushed against the dock in slow motion waves. It was time to seek new horizons, where waves of Floridian waters would embrace the geese. My grandmother said that every new adventure started with goodbyes to one thing or another. If I were ever to have a shot at following my dreams, there’d be farewells as I reached for the sky. Instinct would lead me onward to my accomplished bow. One year Momma and Poppa Goose stayed behind, a nest in the bow of my boat. The wintery sky turned black with departing waves. They would call out as the flying ones filled the sky. Wounded wing grounded Poppa. (Canada geese mate for life.) Momma would not leave her mate, recently shot during hunting season. She would not yet say her goodbyes. This, then, was the winter of no cold goodbyes. Before school, pony tailed hair with ribboned bow, blowing in the stiff breeze, I’d take a shot at keeping ice from the edge of the lake, waves arrowing out as they swam. The geese, with an itch in their wings, anxious for a return to their sky. That summer Poppa introduced his flock to the sky, practiced formational takeoffs leading to goodbyes. Clouds overhead gathered gray with unfallen snow as the geese took flight. My two watching for a moment, dipping heads in an elegant bow, before joining in the aerial ballet of strong winged waves. Grammy’s strong hand gripped my shoulder, then-- the parting shot. Grammy joined the geese beyond the horizon. No miracle shot or endless love could keep her with me. Heaven was in the sky. I knew she was watching although there’d been no time for final waves. Her new adventure started without time for goodbyes. Outside, snow blanketed as I cried myself to sleep. Her final bow had been silent, but she’d been telling me, as had the geese. Overhead the geese are shaftless arrows shot from an instinctual bow piercing the morning sky with their raucous goodbyes. Time waves.
0
Oct 23, 2011
Oct 23, 2011 at 6:16 PM UTC
Flight Home ~ A Sestina
This morning, out in lightly falling snow, I heard geese as flights of them flew overhead. Like a shot I was ten again, Grammy and I at the lake. I’d sit in the bow of my canoe, pulled awkwardly ashore, neck craned back to watch the sky. I was always sad to see them go; their calls so many cold goodbyes. Ice encrusted water slushed against the dock in slow motion waves. It was time to seek new horizons, where waves of Floridian waters would embrace the geese. My grandmother said that every new adventure started with goodbyes to one thing or another. If I were ever to have a shot at following my dreams, there’d be farewells as I reached for the sky. Instinct would lead me onward to my accomplished bow. One year Momma and Poppa Goose stayed behind, a nest in the bow of my boat. The wintery sky turned black with departing waves. They would call out as the flying ones filled the sky. Wounded wing grounded Poppa. (Canada geese mate for life.) Momma would not leave her mate, recently shot during hunting season. She would not yet say her goodbyes. This, then, was the winter of no cold goodbyes. Before school, pony tailed hair with ribboned bow, blowing in the stiff breeze, I’d take a shot at keeping ice from the edge of the lake, waves arrowing out as they swam. The geese, with an itch in their wings, anxious for a return to their sky. That summer Poppa introduced his flock to the sky, practiced formational takeoffs leading to goodbyes. Clouds overhead gathered gray with unfallen snow as the geese took flight. My two watching for a moment, dipping heads in an elegant bow, before joining in the aerial ballet of strong winged waves. Grammy’s strong hand gripped my shoulder, then-- the parting shot. Grammy joined the geese beyond the horizon. No miracle shot or endless love could keep her with me. Heaven was in the sky. I knew she was watching although there’d been no time for final waves. Her new adventure started without time for goodbyes. Outside, snow blanketed as I cried myself to sleep. Her final bow had been silent, but she’d been telling me, as had the geese. Overhead the geese are shaftless arrows shot from an instinctual bow piercing the morning sky with their raucous goodbyes. Time waves.
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39
Hearing nothing but my breath I wander this war torn city alone. A cool moist breeze hits me from behind Signaling the start of a summer thunderstorm. The smell of the unfallen rain is heavy As I find my way to an old abandoned park. The brush consumes an old rusted swing set I rest at an old bamboo picnic table. All around me is destruction and rubble On my left, lightning surrounds black clouds Quickly moving in to consume the city The perfect euphemism for this country’s inevitable fate As the rain begins to fall, the sun dips below the tree line Casting a shadow on an old apartment building. Across from it, the swaying palm trees glow orange A luminous contrast to the storm above them To my right, a couple is sitting on their balcony Swallowing the chaos, welcoming the rain Surrounded by rubble, in this infamous country They find peace in being together
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Jun 15, 2010
Jun 15, 2010 at 5:58 PM UTC
The Sun Sets Alone
things are blurry I can't think straight thoughts are bouncing off the walls I'm losing my mind make it stop I need you here why aren't you here where did you go why did you leave when are you coming back the thoughts are filled with you you you you I ****** up didn't I I ****** up I'm sorry please come back it's all I want I want things to be okay again are you okay is the night treating you well are you ever going to come back why did I say that why did I have to **** things up I can't function without you I'm trying not to cry it's hard it's hard to catch my breath my lungs are collapsing my throat is closing my eyes are covered by unfallen tears make it stop is this what death feels like I'd rather be dead than feel like this I'd rather be in your arms I'd rather things be okay but they're not I'm sorry please come home I worry about you I worry something bad will happen please I'm sorry I didn't mean it I was mad I never should've said it I'm gasping for air I'm holding on I'm a piece of nothing a piece of ******* **** my body is heavy my heart is panicking my lungs won't inflate my mouth is wheezing my mind is in a state of insanity I keep writing nothing seems to be working you're not back yet what if you're hurt what if you're crying what if I ****** up for good this time I can't lose you I can't contain these thoughts I'm experiencing insanity I keep thinking the same things over and over again hoping for a change hoping you'll come home but you won't you won't you won't you won't I miss you I love you I'm sorry
0
Nov 12, 2015
Nov 12, 2015 at 12:26 PM UTC
3 a.m.
things are blurry I can't think straight thoughts are bouncing off the walls I'm losing my mind make it stop I need you here why aren't you here where did you go why did you leave when are you coming back the thoughts are filled with you you you you I ****** up didn't I I ****** up I'm sorry please come back it's all I want I want things to be okay again are you okay is the night treating you well are you ever going to come back why did I say that why did I have to **** things up I can't function without you I'm trying not to cry it's hard it's hard to catch my breath my lungs are collapsing my throat is closing my eyes are covered by unfallen tears make it stop is this what death feels like I'd rather be dead than feel like this I'd rather be in your arms I'd rather things be okay but they're not I'm sorry please come home I worry about you I worry something bad will happen please I'm sorry I didn't mean it I was mad I never should've said it I'm gasping for air I'm holding on I'm a piece of nothing a piece of ******* **** my body is heavy my heart is panicking my lungs won't inflate my mouth is wheezing my mind is in a state of insanity I keep writing nothing seems to be working you're not back yet what if you're hurt what if you're crying what if I ****** up for good this time I can't lose you I can't contain these thoughts I'm experiencing insanity I keep thinking the same things over and over again hoping for a change hoping you'll come home but you won't you won't you won't you won't I miss you I love you I'm sorry
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75
Opaque irises await those who uncover the un-burial mound Oafish sockets containing them like marbles Open to the elements, decaying with their corporeal encasement, shaded by Oaken leaves that remain unfallen, while Obsequious maggots go about their task of cleansing the remains Paralyzed in the final moments of their mortal coil, the bodies lay stagnant, Pacified only by the removal of sentience. Pagan rituals surround such corpses, and the intrepid discovers Patiently await the arrival of some necromantic spirit. Quasi-instinctively, the pioneers of the superterranean mausoleum Quell their fears and remove the bodies from their conclusive locale, Quantifying their deaths by the armaments and metal carapaces upon them.
0
May 7, 2012
May 7, 2012 at 12:44 AM UTC
X
My army stands behind me Where you cannot harm them. And, with them to defend me, You cannot harm me too. President Mujica, Emporer Jimmu, Jesus, Buddha and Scrappy Doo. Gazoo, Kung Fu And most of all you The ranks of soldiers unfallen Always unreachable by you. They are my past, my knowledge And my future.
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Mar 30, 2012
Mar 30, 2012 at 11:44 PM UTC
Ranks Unfallen
Would that I could paint the world as poetry, to waltz each sunset in time with love this would be my gift to you. But since I cannot I shall pluck each ogre hair that grows upon your conscience and with that weave a silken tie the colour of unveiled mystery the texture of unfallen tears. And this will become my proud plumage. Before we search for adventure in the folds of all flesh, remember the stars that you stole for your eyes. And I will remember that the world is poetry and sunsets do not waltz in time with love.
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Dec 18, 2012
Dec 18, 2012 at 2:11 AM UTC
Gifts
Everything is barren now. The leaves have fallen and the bugs have all Retreated into the warm houses. I saw one in my shower this morning And as I turned on the faucet, it flew To the next wall. I worried that The water bouncing off my body Might drown it or make its wings too wet to survive the winter But I did nothing to move it. I understand that the only reason You don’t like riding home from school with me anymore Is because you can’t smoke cigarettes in my car. But now I have to drive by the twin oaks alone— Those twin oaks where I sat with a girl I was sure I would soon come to love. Staring up at the leaves with her, I’d thought maybe That girl and I were just like the oaks: Two separate bodies joined at one point. Now the way snow hangs makes it clear. Those canopies could only spread and grow Once the oaks had parted, leaning in opposite directions. You used to distract me as we drove by, Keeping my mind from the haunting reminder Of the future that failed to pass. Without you with me there, I’m left to question What I’ll see when this pristine white landscape Finally melts. That bug on the sterile white porcelain Seemed to scream this morning as I idly hummed a tune Written by some friends who moved to Athens. It screamed with the smog of unsmoked cigarettes And leaves that can never be unfallen. My humming Was screaming too.
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Jan 21, 2014
Jan 21, 2014 at 4:24 PM UTC
The End of January
I can not count the leaves, unfallen or fallen...there are simply too many. I'm not daunted by their numbers, I needn't balance the sheet of a season. I am counted among them-- we see the same light that presses on our colors. We open the opening, we close the closing...a season is always at hand.
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Oct 11, 2016
Oct 11, 2016 at 12:25 PM UTC
Presses On Our Colors
i lie still in the morning and watch the sunrise creep up my wall to the white of my ceiling bathed in grey light subdued by unfallen rain i wish the rays of sun were your eyes moving over me
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Jul 18, 2014
Jul 18, 2014 at 10:40 AM UTC
Untitled
I am no child of God Something sinister designed me With a heart that hurts too deeply Sword tongue that cuts too sharply Skin that bruises easy Eyes that don’t see clearly Some narcissism, optimism Pinch of pessimism For good measure Pathetic Brain cell battlefield Truth fronts on both ends Devil’s distorted spectrum I falter in the middle An impossible distance Clouded by cognizance And carelessness There is only now And now, I am Everything and nothing Unbalanced, unfallen The void in silence Sudden vacuum of air White light in sheer darkness Vicious cause for despair Sweet surrender is calling But I don’t belong there
0
Nov 15, 2018
Nov 15, 2018 at 4:43 PM UTC
Forgive Me, Father
15th Sunday in Ordinary Time We are scattered, like the Tribes of Israel Sown not in rejection but as word and work Planted everywhere, and commanded to grow In the rich earth of divine Creation There is no veto in birds, rocks, or thorns Let them instead serve in their own poor ways As dutiful as humans, maybe more so Unfallen either as seed or as beings To tend and guard the ancient unities That grow forever in Jerusalem
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Jul 16, 2017
Jul 16, 2017 at 10:01 AM UTC
15th Sunday in Ordinary Time
I daydream Till it becomes a real dream Then I dream away my sadness I dream away my fears Then I dream away all my fathers unfallen tears Till morning comes Oh the morning that comes! When life is not but others dream Or a dream is not but anothers life
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Feb 11, 2015
Feb 11, 2015 at 10:59 AM UTC
Only in my Dream
The human suffering is my life's project How could I ever turn my back on it All the images of loss I had painted On my own cold concrete Berlin wall Paintbrush dipped into a catalog color "Dark ocean of despair" Smearing it cautiously on the rough surface Protecting the still innocent from the ricochets Oh the number of books that I had written About another restless soul stuck in limbo Circling the globe on a boat called "Oblivion" I shoot them into my not so public library in the sky Riding on the back of a spark flying from my sympathetic heart Only to allow their sad glow to forever illuminate the top of my head An archive of movies stored in a chamber of my heart Categorized into natural human disasters All written and directed by me Starring every soul that ever exposed itself to mine On a hot sticky night with a glass of wine In a dusty desert wearing dark green uniform On the grassy banks of a beautiful European canal Their silent cries for help are the soundtrack of my life The shot of an unfallen tear I could never cut out The pain of a life lived internally, A bag of beautiful intentions bursting at the seams Are the substance of the blanket I cover myself with When I try to fall asleep Who would I be without it?
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Sep 28, 2018
Sep 28, 2018 at 10:34 AM UTC
The human suffering
i thought i saw you walking between the morpheus trees the leaves in autumn auburn dancing in their descending to lay themselves at your feet as welcome, your charity each soft step kissing the earth i gave chase, for what it's worth but i turned one way, and you another, leaving no trace and now this place keeps secrets of stories that could have been and now all but a few leaves remain unfallen, and i deep in the still and quiet patient, await their return i thought i saw you walking between the morpheus trees with a little luck, next time it will be you seeing me
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Sep 27, 2017
Sep 27, 2017 at 4:59 PM UTC
passing
Tonight, I’m just a little bit gloomy, with eyes to match the clouds outside; The sky is swollen with unfallen precipitation. A blast from the past bruised my happiness, and a shot of anxiety left me shaking in my love’s arms. But I’m just a little bit sad, and there’s no need to fear, all I need is some beauty sleep for my smile to return.
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Jan 21, 2016
Jan 21, 2016 at 7:25 AM UTC
Melancholy
....No one really makes me happy anymore More like half smiles to a face broken in many places by unfallen tear streaks and frowns Emitting noise just to see if it would be heard Saying I love you, just to see if I believe the words coming from my own mouth. I said I'd stick around but those machines inside are running down down down and soon the energy keeping me up is going to run out So I should start running now....?
0
Oct 21, 2018
Oct 21, 2018 at 9:11 AM UTC
Depression at it's finest