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Grace Jordan Sep 2014
There's a feeling I've felt hindering on the tip of my tongue, twirling with sawdust at the end of my bed. Its tingled my toes and tickled my nose and killed all hopes that this is just happiness.

Sleep is for figments and products of sanity, neither of which I can claim heritage. Well perhaps figments in the waking hours of the darkness, but that is a tale for another time.

I can feel his fingertips stroking my sides, reminding me what it is to feel human and vulnerable and perfect. Didn't know he boosted me ego and turned me into the self absorbed maniac you see before you today. Tyrant, remembrr? Oh wait, that's another tale altogether again.

I ramble in the night, in the morning, all the time. My thoughts wander with echoing clarity to encompass the truth about me; not everything is quite right. The teacups are lopsided at the unbirthday table tonight.

Yet again, speaking in riddles and stories unbeknownst to you. Stupid me, stupid Grace, stupider you. Why are you so open to my madness anyway? Maybe you're the crazy one.

This sick godlike embodiment I feel is one I forget isn't real, isn't me, isn't life. But wait. Its a part of me, so perhaps it is real as well? Call a jury, wake a judge, there must be a verdict on my elation. Am I a minor deity or are the synapses playing some cruel joke on my heartstrings?

Heartstrings, why did I bring them into this? I have shut them off for now, for they are dumb and deaf to honesty and logic and do whatever the hell they feel. Or is it whatever the heaven? I forget sometimes where the real misery is, or how the expression goes. I've never quite gotten everything right, being as upside down as I.

Insomnia brings out the manic in me, and I know its not real, but for a moment, just a moment, I belong. I am real, I am loved, I am powerful. Weak little Grace is no more, with her fears and contradictions. Just strength is left, and it is glorious.

Just remember not to let the heffelumps get you in the night, for they are the true evil behind your honey ***. Or am I a heffelump? I can't remember anymore.

This is going nowhere, everywhere, somewhere.

Wake me up inside before I destroy myself, or simply perpetuate my perfection with a caress of your hand. Whatever suits your fancy.

Call me Aphrodite and we'll call it a night after hours of mindblowing ***. But you expected that all along, of course you did, because you know my bones better than we both realize.

When you put your hands on me I feel ****. But yet again, right now I an perpetually **** and twitchy and awake and fake. Dare you to kiss me anyway.

Dare you to see me, psychotics and all.

Bet you'll run like the rest, yet like all good hiders its refreshing to be found every once in awhile.

Find me, and see. See the monster behind my beautiful eyes. That's the day when you'll see what true danger looks like; me.

Insomnia makes me odd, but yet again I'm always odd.

Little miss muffet sat on her tuffet, eating her curds and craves, for a man betwixt her to tell her she's killer and make her a siren next day.

Forget, no, yes, its all I do. Its not how that goes, for sirens are certainly not temporary. I am certainly a black widow every day, not just each odd thursday.

Go to bed, Grace. I beg of you.

Close my eyes and say goodnight to the beloved moon, for the sun is nearly up and it certainly hates me, I am sure of it.

Just never forget all this is wrapped up in one little old me. No one seems to remember that until its far too late, so might as well run now, because otherwise little miss muffet here on her tuffet will be the death of you.
Little Miss Muffet
Sits not on a tuffet
But on a Le Corbusier chair.

Curds and whey
Are not for her
As she is a vegan
And rarely eats between meals.

Along comes Spiderman,
Sits down on a sedan
And questions her
On all things entomological
And graphic novels.

And do you know what?

She is not afraid at all!
Julie Grenness May 2016
This is an ode for chicks who tough it,
About an empowered Little Miss Muffet,
Sitting alone there on her tuffet,
Along came a spider,
Who sat down beside her,
Or was he a predator?
What was he after her for?
So, she said to the spider,
Who sat down beside her,
"Rak off, hairy legs!
Don't even beg!
Less is more, less is more,
P.O.Q. , you naughty predator!"
And she ate her own curds and whey!
Empowering Miss Muffets these days,
Hopefully, us old bags do say......
Feedback welcome!
Brent Kincaid Dec 2015
Little Miss Muffet
Got ******* on her tuffet
‘Cause she don’t know what curds weigh.
A scholarly spider
Sat down beside her
Said, “Tuffet baby, it ain’t spelled that way.”

But, confused, he asked
“How did it come to pass
That you got laid and I have not done yet?
With eight legs to grab
I should be able to nab
Likely many more than than you can get.”

Muffet said, with a shrug
“You pitiful old bug,
Your brain must be little more than silage.
For everyone knows
How the old saying goes
It’s not the age of the tire but the mileage.”

The spider understood
What anyone would
That Miss Muffet knew what she was doing.
He went on his way
With no more to say,
And Muffet went right back to her *******.
Livingdeadgirl Apr 2015
Each has meaning to one or all of us
personally
all i learned of these
i read as i grew
these fun loving rhymes
have some meaning or other
so i put these up
to bring out the childish side!!
:) <3 :) <3 :) <3 :) <3 :) <3 :) <3 :) <3






Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are.
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.

When the blazing sun is gone,
When the nothing shines upon,
Then you show your little light,
Twinkle, twinkle, all the night.

Then the traveller in the dark,
Thanks you for your tiny spark,
He could not see which way to go,
If you did not twinkle so.

In the dark blue sky you keep,
And often through my curtains peep,
For you never shut your eye,
Till the sun is in the sky.

As your bright and tiny spark,
Lights the traveller in the dark.
Though I know not what you are,
Twinkle, twinkle, little star.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star.
How I wonder what you are.
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star.
How I wonder what you are.
How I wonder what you are.

Jack be Nimble

Jack be Nimble
Jack, be nimble,
Jack, be quick,
Jack, jump over
The candlestick. Jack jumped high
Jack jumped low
Jack jumped over
and burned his toe.

Do You Know The Muffin Man

Do you know the Muffin Man,
The Muffin Man,
The Muffin Man?
Do you know the Muffin Man
Who lives in Drury Lane?
Yes, I know the Muffin Man,
The Muffin Man,
The Muffin Man.
Yes, I know the Muffin Man
Who lives in Drury Lane.

Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again.

Hush Little Baby

Hush, little baby, don't say a word,
Mama's going to buy you
a mockingbird.
And if that mockingbird won't sing,
Mama's going to buy you
a diamond ring.
And if that diamond ring turns brass,
Mama's going to buy you
a looking glass.
And if that looking glass gets broke,
Mama's going to buy you a billy goat.
And if that billy goat won't pull,
Mama's going to buy you
a cart and bull.
And if that cart and bull turn over,
Mama's going to buy you
a dog named Rover.
And if that dog named Rover
won't bark,
Mama's going to buy you
a horse and cart.
And if that horse and cart fall down,
You'll still be the sweetest
little baby in town.

Little Miss Muffet

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey;
Along came a spider,
Who sat down beside her
And frightened Miss Muffet away.
Tatiana Dec 2013
Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey.
The little dog laughed,
"Jack, jump over the candlestick."
Along came a spider,
the cat and the fiddle,
who sat down beside her
and frightened Miss Muffet away.

"Hey, ******, ******!"
"Yes sir, yes sir."

Jack be nimble
Who lives down the lane.

Baa, baa, black sheep,
Mama's going to buy you a diamond ring,
and one for the little boy
who lives in Drury Lane.
All the king's horses and all the king's men;
To see such sport,
don't say a word.

"Have you any wool?"
"Do you know the Muffin Man?"
"Three bags full."

And if that diamond ring turns brass,
Jack, be quick,
Mama's going to buy you a looking glass.

One for the master,
Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird.  
One for the dame,
Mama's going to buy you a billy goat.

Jack jumped high
The cow jumped over the moon.
Jack jumped low
And the dish ran away with the spoon.
Jack be nimble,
Mama's going to buy you a cart and bull.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Jack jumped over and burned his toe.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
And if that horse and cart fall down,
Hush, little baby,
one little Indian boy
couldn't put Humpty together again.

And if that mockingbird won't sing,
ring a ring o' roses,
and if that looking glass gets broke,
you'll still be the sweetest.

Tom, Tom, the piper's son,
did you ever see such a sight in your life,
as three blind mice
stole a pig, and away did run.

And if that billy goat won't pull
a dog named Rover,
see how they run,
they all ran after the farmer's wife,
and Tom was beat.

And if that cart and bull turn over,
and the pig was eat,
and Tom went crying,
Mama's going to buy you
A pocketful of posies.
And if that dog named Rover won't bark
down the street,
One little, two little, three little Indians,
Mama's going to buy you a horse and cart.
Much wants more, and loses all,
little baby in town.
Three blind mice,
who cut off their tails with a carving knife,
see how they run.
We all fall down.
All are lines from Nursery Rhymes:
Little Miss Muffet
Hey, ******, ******
Jack Be Nimble
Baa, Baa, Black Sheep
Do You Know The Muffin Man
Humpty Dumpty
Hush Little Baby
Ring a Ring O'Roses
Ten Little Indians
Tom, Tom, The Piper's Son
Three Blind Mice
The Man and the Golden Eggs
ioan pearce Feb 2010
mary had a little lamb,
she called it pinky winky,
when it turned into a sheep,
she sold it to the ******.

jack and jill had dropped a pill,
to dance the night away,
jack came home with two black eyes,
cos he forgot to pay.

hairy mary quite contrary,
how does your garden grow?
halogen lamps, council house,
thats all you need to know.

baa baa black sheep,
think i need to pull,
your tail upwards,
cos my ***** are full.

little miss muffet,sat on a tuffet,
snorting before a night out,
little jack horner stuck in his thumb,
she punched his ****** lights out.
Sammy Courtnage Aug 2016
Jack and Jill went up the hill,
Jack died on ***** and Jill on pills.
Mary lost her little lamb
but she just don’t give a ****.

Little Boy Blue blows a new horn,
he’s the star of animal ****.
Humpty’s crack was caused by bad smack,
and Little Bo Peep finally murdered those sheep.

Old Mother Hubbard sells shrooms from her cupboard
and Mother Goose used to be called Lady Loose.
Old King Cole like to smoke pole,
while Little Miss Muffet licked **** on her tuffet.

All the kings horses banged all the kings men,
then headed to the Caterpillar’s ***** den.
The Pied Piper dropped E in the village well
and danced all those children to techno hell.

These fairy tales I’ve tainted, they’re twisted and sick.
So read it again and hide it away quick!
Mom and Daddy will yell, this isn’t ok,
but I’ve painted the truth at the end of the day.

Life isn’t all sunshine and roses and smiles.
Sometimes it’s darkness, loose women and their wiles.
I’ve just told the truth my dear little friend,
I hope you enjoyed it but this is The End…
Just a twisted version of fairy tales
David Nelson Sep 2011
Fractured Fairies

the stalk was tall but Jack climbed high
they said he was looking for a golden goose
but the giant wasn't keen on him getting by
he caught the little brat and kicked his caboose

old mother Hubbard lived in a shoe
she had lots of sole and a rather large tongue
her old man was proficient in kung foo
when she bent over he kung foo'd her ****

Alice lived in wonderland she was constantly high
her and that crazy rabbit eating mushrooms wild
they looked into the looking glass and my oh my
they both had golden locks so neatly styled

once upon a time there were three bears
they couldn't eat the pourage on their first attempt
they shaved their bodys except for their ***** hairs
found out they were Jewish and now verklempt

little Miss Muffet sat on tuffet eating her curds and whey
along came a spider and sat down beside her
and she stomped him good put a crimp in his day

Mary had a little lamb what a big surprise
the doctor's scratched their heads in disbelief
they just couldn't even believe their eyes
but when old McDonald had a farm good grief

Gomer LePoet...
little miss muffet sat on a tuffet munching on curds and whey

then along came a spider and sat down beside her on a lovely summers day.

miss muffet didnt like it she hit on the head

with a wooden spoon she had now the spiders dead.



there beneath the tuffet the poor spider lay

now his souls in heaven many miles away
Sophie Herzing Aug 2011
Sometimes I dream
of a leather nursery rhyme book
bounded together with a secret lock.
To keep inside the stories
that were written by a sickened man.
Who found pleasure out of twisting
the joyous rhythms in which the tale
were meant to be told.


Sometimes I dream
I've found the key to unlock
the forbidden book,
and as I turn the pages the
stories fall in little bits and pieces.
They collect themselves, running down the table
clicking into a beautiful puzzle.
Each with its own beautiful soul.


Jack has lit himself on fire
jumping over the candlestick,
running around like a maniac
with the devil circling his eyes.
Humpty Dumpty fell, cracked his shell,
and little vines began to grow.
Trapping him against the ground
as he laughs his curdling laugh
that boils the blood and soul.
Miss Mumphet sat on her Tuffet,
and drank her tea with the poisonous spider
who marvelously sat down beside her.


Mother Goose rules the kingdom
with her golden staff and silver cane.
She throws her magic in purple fog
over the troubled land.
Jack and Jill look over the hill
with  gory eyes and aggression.
Licking their lips in great satisfaction
for having the world at their feet
to conquer the fairytales in strong defeat.


And then there's one rhyme
I never heard before
of a green eyed girl with shaggy hair
that falls around her face.
Her one white fang punctures her lip,
blood spills out in black,
but people say she was once a happy girl
who's manic slowly drew her mad.


Sometimes I dream
of a horrible world
colored with the chaos of nursery rhymes
infected with unsettling venom
in a jigsaw story book,
but sometimes I dream
that I in fact
have gone a little mad.
little miss muffet sat on a tuffet
underneath the moon
along came a spider and sat down beside her
so she smacked it with her spoon
the spider he went dizzy then he ran away
she was left in peace to eat her curds and whey
We're eating curds
A web of music
On his tuffet...
Sweet *** candy
Sugarhand
Sugarfoot
Drummer
Boy, Oh boy!
little miss muffet sat on a tuffet munching on curds and whey

then along came a spider and sat down beside her on a lovely summers day.

miss muffet didnt like it she hit on the head

with a wooden spoon.  now the spiders dead.



there beneath the tuffet the poor spider lay

now his souls in heaven many miles away
Jade May 19
Little Miss Muffet
sat on a tuffet,
eating her curds and whey.

Along came a spider
who sat down beside her,
and yet she does not stray.

Though an arachnid–
preferable sidekick,
better than being slain.

For, vacant across the room:
“A stool?” No! a tomb!
where he-wolf lies in wait.
kirk Jul 2017
Little miss muffet sat on a tuffet up her *** hole all day.
Along came a spider, put two legs inside her.
Because he wanted a roll in the hay.
Little miss muffet, told the spider to **** it and to have his wicked way.
She spread her legs wide with a matter of pride.
And the spider had a ******* good lay
American democracy go'n
     to hell at light speed
breaking into a bajillion pieces
     tuffet in a handbasket
     sans, lame leader
     ship (of motley fools) doth reed
like art art of the deal
     gone to the straw dogs,

     warren like rabbits they breed
hoppy to curry bone
     a fide ***** deed
done dirt cheap selling out
     land of milk and honey creed
dough, now wracked with
     dissent hair re:
     puffed, faked, and dyed golden

     locks trademark heed
don his "make America
     great again" schtick exceed
ding the speed
of orneriness establishing
     mean mien,
     where uncouth freed

from being caged within
     the restraint of politesse,
     thus blithely flagrantly,
     and nonchalantly
     highjacking manners indeed
setting crude behavior
     as class act
     to emulate, cuz ****

dont got no need
tubby stately, neither true
     equality, fairness, generosity,
     most likely teed
trump to spout blatant lies,
     when first moment
     grabbed narcissistic greed

complacency could
     find himself anointing
     himself dictator lead
ding this country into behavioral sink,
     a through back to mead
evil knights of yore.
Charles Sturies Oct 2017
Tuffet that cheek
with tongue in cheek
but don't ascertain
how rosy your cheeks really are.
Charles Sturies

— The End —