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FIRST DAY

1.
Who wanted me
to go to Chicago
on January 6th?
I did!

The night before,
20 below zero
Fahrenheit
with the wind chill;
as the blizzard of 99
lay in mountains
of blackening snow.

I packed two coats,
two suits,
three sweaters,
multiple sets of long johns
and heavy white socks
for a two-day stay.

I left from Newark.
**** the denseness,
it confounds!

The 2nd City to whom?
2nd ain’t bad.
It’s pretty good.
If you consider
Peking and Prague,
Tokyo and Togo,
Manchester and Moscow,
Port Au Prince and Paris,
Athens and Amsterdam,
Buenos Aries and Johannesburg;
that’s pretty good.

What’s going on here today?
It’s friggin frozen.
To the bone!

But Chi Town is still cool.
Buddy Guy’s is open.
Bartenders mixing drinks,
cabbies jamming on their breaks,
honey dew waitresses serving sugar,
buildings swerving,
fire tongued preachers are preaching
and the farmers are measuring the moon.

The lake,
unlike Ontario
is in the midst of freezing.
Bones of ice
threaten to gel
into a solid mass
over the expanse
of the Michigan Lake.
If this keeps up,
you can walk
clear to Toronto
on a silver carpet.

Along the shore
the ice is permanent.
It’s the first big frost
of winter
after a long
Indian Summer.

Thank God
I caught a cab.
Outside I hear
The Hawk
nippin hard.
It’ll get your ear,
finger or toe.
Bite you on the nose too
if you ain’t careful.

Thank God,
I’m not walking
the Wabash tonight;
but if you do cover up,
wear layers.

Chicago,
could this be
Sandburg’s City?

I’m overwhelmed
and this is my tenth time here.

It’s almost better,
sometimes it is better,
a lot of times it is better
and denser then New York.

Ask any Bull’s fan.
I’m a Knickerbocker.
Yes Nueva York,
a city that has placed last
in the standings
for many years.
Except the last two.
Yanks are # 1!

But Chicago
is a dynasty,
as big as
Sammy Sosa’s heart,
rich and wide
as Michael Jordan’s grin.

Middle of a country,
center of a continent,
smack dab in the mean
of a hemisphere,
vortex to a world,
Chicago!

Kansas City,
Nashville,
St. Louis,
Detroit,
Cleveland,
Pittsburgh,
Denver,
New Orleans,
Dallas,
Cairo,
Singapore,
Auckland,
Baghdad,
Mexico City
and Montreal
salute her.



2.
Cities,
A collection of vanities?
Engineered complex utilitarianism?
The need for community a social necessity?
Ego one with the mass?
Civilization’s latest *******?
Chicago is more then that.

Jefferson’s yeoman farmer
is long gone
but this capitol
of the Great Plains
is still democratic.

The citizen’s of this city
would vote daily,
if they could.

Chicago,
Sandburg’s Chicago,
Could it be?

The namesake river
segments the city,
canals of commerce,
all perpendicular,
is rife throughout,
still guiding barges
to the Mississippi
and St. Laurence.

Now also
tourist attractions
for a cafe society.

Chicago is really jazzy,
swanky clubs,
big steaks,
juices and drinks.

You get the best
coffee from Seattle
and the finest teas
from China.

Great restaurants
serve liquid jazz
al la carte.

Jazz Jazz Jazz
All they serve is Jazz
Rock me steady
Keep the beat
Keep it flowin
Feel the heat!

Jazz Jazz Jazz
All they is, is Jazz
Fast cars will take ya
To the show
Round bout midnight
Where’d the time go?

Flows into the Mississippi,
the mother of America’s rivers,
an empires aorta.

Great Lakes wonder of water.
Niagara Falls
still her heart gushes forth.

Buffalo connected to this holy heart.
Finger Lakes and Adirondacks
are part of this watershed,
all the way down to the
Delaware and Chesapeake.

Sandburg’s Chicago?
Oh my my,
the wonder of him.
Who captured the imagination
of the wonders of rivers.

Down stream other holy cities
from the Mississippi delta
all mapped by him.

Its mouth our Dixie Trumpet
guarded by righteous Cajun brethren.

Midwest?
Midwest from where?
It’s north of Caracas and Los Angeles,
east of Fairbanks,
west of Dublin
and south of not much.

Him,
who spoke of honest men
and loving women.
Working men and mothers
bearing citizens to build a nation.
The New World’s
precocious adolescent
caught in a stream
of endless and exciting change,
much pain and sacrifice,
dedication and loss,
pride and tribulations.

From him we know
all the people’s faces.
All their stories are told.
Never defeating the
idea of Chicago.

Sandburg had the courage to say
what was in the heart of the people, who:

Defeated the Indians,
Mapped the terrain,
Aided slavers,
Fought a terrible civil war,
Hoisted the barges,
Grew the food,
Whacked the wheat,
Sang the songs,
Fought many wars of conquest,
Cleared the land,
Erected the bridges,
Trapped the game,
Netted the fish,
Mined the coal,
Forged the steel,
Laid the tracks,
Fired the tenders,
Cut the stone,
Mixed the mortar,
Plumbed the line,
And laid the bricks
Of this nation of cities!

Pardon the Marlboro Man shtick.
It’s a poor expostulation of
crass commercial symbolism.

Like I said, I’m a
Devil Fan from Jersey
and Madison Avenue
has done its work on me.

It’s a strange alchemy
that changes
a proud Nation of Blackhawks
into a merchandising bonanza
of hometown hockey shirts,
making the native seem alien,
and the interloper at home chillin out,
warming his feet atop a block of ice,
guzzling Old Style
with clicker in hand.

Give him his beer
and other diversions.
If he bowls with his buddy’s
on Tuesday night
I hope he bowls
a perfect game.

He’s earned it.
He works hard.
Hard work and faith
built this city.

And it’s not just the faith
that fills the cities
thousand churches,
temples and
mosques on the Sabbath.

3.
There is faith in everything in Chicago!

An alcoholic broker named Bill
lives the Twelve Steps
to banish fear and loathing
for one more day.
Bill believes in sobriety.

A tug captain named Moe
waits for the spring thaw
so he can get the barges up to Duluth.
Moe believes in the seasons.

A farmer named Tom
hopes he has reaped the last
of many bitter harvests.
Tom believes in a new start.

A homeless man named Earl
wills himself a cot and a hot
at the local shelter.
Earl believes in deliverance.

A Pullman porter
named George
works overtime
to get his first born
through medical school.
George believes in opportunity.

A folk singer named Woody
sings about his
countrymen inheritance
and implores them to take it.
Woody believes in people.

A Wobbly named Joe
organizes fellow steelworkers
to fight for a workers paradise
here on earth.
Joe believes in ideals.

A bookkeeper named Edith
is certain she’ll see the Cubs
win the World Series
in her lifetime.
Edith believes in miracles.

An electrician named ****
saves money
to bring his family over from Gdansk.
**** believes in America.

A banker named Leah
knows Ditka will return
and lead the Bears
to another Super Bowl.
Leah believes in nostalgia.

A cantor named Samuel
prays for another 20 years
so he can properly train
his Temple’s replacement.

Samuel believes in tradition.
A high school girl named Sally
refuses to get an abortion.
She knows she carries
something special within her.
Sally believes in life.

A city worker named Mazie
ceaselessly prays
for her incarcerated son
doing 10 years at Cook.
Mazie believes in redemption.

A jazzer named Bix
helps to invent a new art form
out of the mist.
Bix believes in creativity.

An architect named Frank
restores the Rookery.
Frank believes in space.

A soldier named Ike
fights wars for democracy.
Ike believes in peace.

A Rabbi named Jesse
sermonizes on Moses.
Jesse believes in liberation.

Somewhere in Chicago
a kid still believes in Shoeless Joe.
The kid believes in
the integrity of the game.

An Imam named Louis
is busy building a nation
within a nation.
Louis believes in
self-determination.

A teacher named Heidi
gives all she has to her students.
She has great expectations for them all.
Heidi believes in the future.

4.
Does Chicago have a future?

This city,
full of cowboys
and wildcatters
is predicated
on a future!

Bang, bang
Shoot em up
Stake the claim
It’s your terrain
Drill the hole
Strike it rich
Top it off
You’re the boss
Take a chance
Watch it wane
Try again
Heavenly gains

Chicago
city of futures
is a Holy Mecca
to all day traders.

Their skin is gray,
hair disheveled,
loud ties and
funny coats,
thumb through
slips of paper
held by nail
chewed hands.
Selling promises
with no derivative value
for out of the money calls
and in the money puts.
Strike is not a labor action
in this city of unionists,
but a speculators mark,
a capitalist wish,
a hedgers bet,
a public debt
and a farmers
fair return.

Indexes for everything.
Quantitative models
that could burst a kazoo.

You know the measure
of everything in Chicago.
But is it truly objective?
Have mathematics banished
subjective intentions,
routing it in fair practice
of market efficiencies,
a kind of scientific absolution?

I heard that there
is a dispute brewing
over the amount of snowfall
that fell on the 1st.

The mayor’s office,
using the official city ruler
measured 22”
of snow on the ground.

The National Weather Service
says it cannot detect more
then 17” of snow.

The mayor thinks
he’ll catch less heat
for the trains that don’t run
the buses that don’t arrive
and the schools that stand empty
with the addition of 5”.

The analysts say
it’s all about capturing liquidity.

Liquidity,
can you place a great lake
into an eyedropper?

Its 20 below
and all liquid things
are solid masses
or a gooey viscosity at best.

Water is frozen everywhere.
But Chi town is still liquid,
flowing faster
then the digital blips
flashing on the walls
of the CBOT.

Dreams
are never frozen in Chicago.
The exchanges trade
without missing a beat.

Trading wet dreams,
the crystallized vapor
of an IPO
pledging a billion points
of Internet access
or raiding the public treasuries
of a central bank’s
huge stores of gold
with currency swaps.

Using the tools
of butterfly spreads
and candlesticks
to achieve the goal.

Short the Russell
or buy the Dow,
go long the
CAC and DAX.
Are you trading in euro’s?
You better be
or soon will.
I know
you’re Chicago,
you’ll trade anything.
WEBS,
Spiders,
and Leaps
are traded here,
along with sweet crude,
North Sea Brent,
plywood and T-Bill futures;
and most importantly
the commodities,
the loam
that formed this city
of broad shoulders.

What about our wheat?
Still whacking and
breadbasket to the world.

Oil,
an important fossil fuel
denominated in
good ole greenbacks.

Porkbellies,
not just hogwash
on the Wabash,
but bacon, eggs
and flapjacks
are on the menu
of every diner in Jersey
as the “All American.”

Cotton,
our contribution
to the Golden Triangle,
once the global currency
used to enrich a
gentlemen class
of cultured
southern slavers,
now Tommy Hilfiger’s
preferred fabric.

I think he sends it
to Bangkok where
child slaves
spin it into
gold lame'.

Sorghum,
I think its hardy.

Soybeans,
the new age substitute
for hamburger
goes great with tofu lasagna.

Corn,
ADM creates ethanol,
they want us to drive cleaner cars.

Cattle,
once driven into this city’s
bloodhouses for slaughter,
now ground into
a billion Big Macs
every year.

When does a seed
become a commodity?
When does a commodity
become a future?
When does a future expire?

You can find the answers
to these questions in Chicago
and find a fortune in a hole in the floor.

Look down into the pits.
Hear the screams of anguish
and profitable delights.

Frenzied men
swarming like a mass
of epileptic ants
atop the worlds largest sugar cube
auger the worlds free markets.

The scene is
more chaotic then
100 Haymarket Square Riots
multiplied by 100
1968 Democratic Conventions.

Amidst inverted anthills,
they scurry forth and to
in distinguished
black and red coats.

Fighting each other
as counterparties
to a life and death transaction.

This is an efficient market
that crosses the globe.

Oil from the Sultan of Brunei,
Yen from the land of Hitachi,
Long Bonds from the Fed,
nickel from Quebec,
platinum and palladium
from Siberia,
FTSE’s from London
and crewel cane from Havana
circle these pits.

Tijuana,
Shanghai
and Istanbul's
best traders
are only half as good
as the average trader in Chicago.

Chicago,
this hog butcher to the world,
specializes in packaging and distribution.

Men in blood soaked smocks,
still count the heads
entering the gates of the city.

Their handiwork
is sent out on barges
and rail lines as frozen packages
of futures
waiting for delivery
to an anonymous counterparty
half a world away.

This nation’s hub
has grown into the
premier purveyor
to the world;
along all the rivers,
highways,
railways
and estuaries
it’s tentacles reach.

5.
Sandburg’s Chicago,
is a city of the world’s people.

Many striver rows compose
its many neighborhoods.

Nordic stoicism,
Eastern European orthodoxy
and Afro-American
calypso vibrations
are three of many cords
strumming the strings
of Chicago.

Sandburg’s Chicago,
if you wrote forever
you would only scratch its surface.

People wait for trains
to enter the city from O’Hare.
Frozen tears
lock their eyes
onto distant skyscrapers,
solid chunks
of snot blocks their nose
and green icicles of slime
crust mustaches.
They fight to breathe.

Sandburg’s Chicago
is The Land of Lincoln,
Savior of the Union,
protector of the Republic.
Sent armies
of sons and daughters,
barges, boxcars,
gunboats, foodstuffs,
cannon and shot
to raze the south
and stamp out succession.

Old Abe’s biography
are still unknown volumes to me.
I must see and read the great words.
You can never learn enough;
but I’ve been to Washington
and seen the man’s memorial.
The Free World’s 8th wonder,
guarded by General Grant,
who still keeps an eye on Richmond
and a hand on his sword.

Through this American winter
Abe ponders.
The vista he surveys is dire and tragic.

Our sitting President
impeached
for lying about a *******.

Party partisans
in the senate are sworn and seated.
Our Chief Justice,
adorned with golden bars
will adjudicate the proceedings.
It is the perfect counterpoint
to an ageless Abe thinking
with malice toward none
and charity towards all,
will heal the wounds
of the nation.

Abe our granite angel,
Chicago goes on,
The Union is strong!


SECOND DAY

1.
Out my window
the sun has risen.

According to
the local forecast
its minus 9
going up to
6 today.

The lake,
a golden pillow of clouds
is frozen in time.

I marvel
at the ancients ones
resourcefulness
and how
they mastered
these extreme elements.

Past, present and future
has no meaning
in the Citadel
of the Prairie today.

I set my watch
to Central Standard Time.

Stepping into
the hotel lobby
the concierge
with oil smooth hair,
perfect tie
and English lilt
impeccably asks,
“Do you know where you are going Sir?
Can I give you a map?”

He hands me one of Chicago.
I see he recently had his nails done.
He paints a green line
along Whacker Drive and says,
“turn on Jackson, LaSalle, Wabash or Madison
and you’ll get to where you want to go.”
A walk of 14 or 15 blocks from Streeterville-
(I start at The Chicago White House.
They call it that because Hillary Rodham
stays here when she’s in town.
Its’ also alleged that Stedman
eats his breakfast here
but Opra
has never been seen
on the premises.
I wonder how I gained entry
into this place of elite’s?)
-down into the center of The Loop.

Stepping out of the hotel,
The Doorman
sporting the epaulets of a colonel
on his corporate winter coat
and furry Cossack hat
swaddling his round black face
accosts me.

The skin of his face
is flaking from
the subzero windburn.

He asks me
with a gapped toothy grin,
“Can I get you a cab?”
“No I think I’ll walk,” I answer.
“Good woolen hat,
thick gloves you should be alright.”
He winks and lets me pass.

I step outside.
The Windy City
flings stabbing cold spears
flying on wings of 30-mph gusts.
My outside hardens.
I can feel the freeze
deepen
into my internalness.
I can’t be sure
but inside
my heart still feels warm.
For how long
I cannot say.

I commence
my walk
among the spires
of this great city,
the vertical leaps
that anchor the great lake,
holding its place
against the historic
frigid assault.

The buildings’ sway,
modulating to the blows
of natures wicked blasts.

It’s a hard imposition
on a city and its people.

The gloves,
skullcap,
long underwear,
sweater,
jacket
and overcoat
not enough
to keep the cold
from penetrating
the person.

Like discerning
the layers of this city,
even many layers,
still not enough
to understand
the depth of meaning
of the heart
of this heartland city.

Sandburg knew the city well.
Set amidst groves of suburbs
that extend outward in every direction.
Concentric circles
surround the city.
After the burbs come farms,
Great Plains, and mountains.
Appalachians and Rockies
are but mere molehills
in the city’s back yard.
It’s terra firma
stops only at the sea.
Pt. Barrow to the Horn,
many capes extended.

On the periphery
its appendages,
its extremities,
its outward extremes.
All connected by the idea,
blown by the incessant wind
of this great nation.
The Windy City’s message
is sent to the world’s four corners.
It is a message of power.
English the worlds
common language
is spoken here,
along with Ebonics,
Espanol,
Mandarin,
Czech,
Russian,
Korean,
Arabic,
Hindi­,
German,
French,
electronics,
steel,
cars,
cartoons,
rap,
sports­,
movies,
capital,
wheat
and more.

Always more.
Much much more
in Chicago.

2.
Sandburg
spoke all the dialects.

He heard them all,
he understood
with great precision
to the finest tolerances
of a lathe workers micrometer.

Sandburg understood
what it meant to laugh
and be happy.

He understood
the working mans day,
the learned treatises
of university chairs,
the endless tomes
of the city’s
great libraries,
the lost languages
of the ancient ones,
the secret codes
of abstract art,
the impact of architecture,
the street dialects and idioms
of everymans expression of life.

All fighting for life,
trying to build a life,
a new life
in this modern world.

Walking across
the Michigan Avenue Bridge
I see the Wrigley Building
is neatly carved,
catty cornered on the plaza.

I wonder if Old Man Wrigley
watched his barges
loaded with spearmint
and double-mint
move out onto the lake
from one of those Gothic windows
perched high above the street.

Would he open a window
and shout to the men below
to quit slaking and work harder
or would he
between the snapping sound
he made with his mouth
full of his chewing gum
offer them tickets
to a ballgame at Wrigley Field
that afternoon?

Would the men below
be able to understand
the man communing
from such a great height?

I listen to a man
and woman conversing.
They are one step behind me
as we meander along Wacker Drive.

"You are in Chicago now.”
The man states with profundity.
“If I let you go
you will soon find your level
in this city.
Do you know what I mean?”

No I don’t.
I think to myself.
What level are you I wonder?
Are you perched atop
the transmission spire
of the Hancock Tower?

I wouldn’t think so
or your ears would melt
from the windburn.

I’m thinking.
Is she a kept woman?
She is majestically clothed
in fur hat and coat.
In animal pelts
not trapped like her,
but slaughtered
from farms
I’m sure.

What level
is he speaking of?

Many levels
are evident in this city;
many layers of cobbled stone,
Pennsylvania iron,
Hoosier Granite
and vertical drops.

I wonder
if I detect
condensation
in his voice?

What is
his intention?
Is it a warning
of a broken affair?
A pending pink slip?
Advise to an addict
refusing to adhere
to a recovery regimen?

What is his level anyway?
Is he so high and mighty,
Higher and mightier
then this great city
which we are all a part of,
which we all helped to build,
which we all need
in order to keep this nation
the thriving democratic
empire it is?

This seditious talk!

3.
The Loop’s El
still courses through
the main thoroughfares of the city.

People are transported
above the din of the street,
looking down
on the common pedestrians
like me.

Super CEO’s
populating the upper floors
of Romanesque,
Greek Revivalist,
New Bauhaus,
Art Deco
and Post Nouveau
Neo-Modern
Avant-Garde towers
are too far up
to see me
shivering on the street.

The cars, busses,
trains and trucks
are all covered
with the film
of rock salt.

Salt covers
my bootless feet
and smudges
my cloths as well.

The salt,
the primal element
of the earth
covers everything
in Chicago.

It is the true level
of this city.

The layer
beneath
all layers,
on which
everything
rests,
is built,
grows,
thrives
then dies.
To be
returned again
to the lower
layers
where it can
take root
again
and grow
out onto
the great plains.

Splashing
the nation,
anointing
its people
with its
blessing.

A blessing,
Chicago?

All rivers
come here.

All things
found its way here
through the canals
and back bays
of the world’s
greatest lakes.

All roads,
rails and
air routes
begin and
end here.

Mrs. O’Leary’s cow
got a *** rap.
It did not start the fire,
we did.

We lit the torch
that flamed
the city to cinders.
From a pile of ash
Chicago rose again.

Forever Chicago!
Forever the lamp
that burns bright
on a Great Lake’s
western shore!

Chicago
the beacon
sends the
message to the world
with its windy blasts,
on chugging barges,
clapping trains,
flying tandems,
T1 circuits
and roaring jets.

Sandburg knew
a Chicago
I will never know.

He knew
the rhythm of life
the people walked to.
The tools they used,
the dreams they dreamed
the songs they sang,
the things they built,
the things they loved,
the pains that hurt,
the motives that grew,
the actions that destroyed
the prayers they prayed,
the food they ate
their moments of death.

Sandburg knew
the layers of the city
to the depths
and windy heights
I cannot fathom.

The Blues
came to this city,
on the wing
of a chirping bird,
on the taps
of a rickety train,
on the blast
of an angry sax
rushing on the wind,
on the Westend blitz
of Pop's brash coronet,
on the tink of
a twinkling piano
on a paddle-wheel boat
and on the strings
of a lonely man’s guitar.

Walk into the clubs,
tenements,
row houses,
speakeasies
and you’ll hear the Blues
whispered like
a quiet prayer.

Tidewater Blues
from Virginia,
Delta Blues
from the lower
Mississippi,
Boogie Woogie
from Appalachia,
Texas Blues
from some Lone Star,
Big Band Blues
from Kansas City,
Blues from
Beal Street,
Jelly Roll’s Blues
from the Latin Quarter.

Hell even Chicago
got its own brand
of Blues.

Its all here.
It ended up here
and was sent away
on the winds of westerly blows
to the ear of an eager world
on strong jet streams
of simple melodies
and hard truths.

A broad
shouldered woman,
a single mother stands
on the street
with three crying babes.
Their cloths
are covered
in salt.
She pleads
for a break,
praying
for a new start.
Poor and
under-clothed
against the torrent
of frigid weather
she begs for help.
Her blond hair
and ****** features
suggests her
Scandinavian heritage.
I wonder if
she is related to Sandburg
as I walk past
her on the street.
Her feet
are bleeding
through her
canvass sneakers.
Her babes mouths
are zipped shut
with frozen drivel
and mucous.

The Blues live
on in Chicago.

The Blues
will forever live in her.
As I turn the corner
to walk the Miracle Mile
I see her engulfed
in a funnel cloud of salt,
snow and bits
of white paper,
swirling around her
and her children
in an angry
unforgiving
maelstrom.

The family
begins to
dissolve
like a snail
sprinkled with salt;
and a mother
and her children
just disappear
into the pavement
at the corner
of Dearborn,
in Chicago.

Music:

Robert Johnson
Sweet Home Chicago


jbm
Chicago
1/7/99
Added today to commemorate the birthday of Carl Sandburg
All estuaries flow eastbound, and the subterranean rail tracks keep forcing against the estuaries’ grain and dust foundations perpendicularly to them.*



How can a sane proposition -- a quantification of syntax execution (those squirming cuticles through bonds of regression)— an excessive reflection, reflexive inspection,

Prove its sanity through continued suggestion?



Deductive insurrections stirred in memory,

A rumble, causing sediments to crumble,

Wineglasses balanced atop countertops tumble.

Spilling contents upon the grained wooden, elitists' floors.



"Anesthetic, onsetting tuberculosis in breath patterns,

Gavels ringing on rigged tolling tongs in caverns,

Dark tolerances to Copernican astronomy in shadows,

And the handle grinds as boxcar wheels' flints and steels catch and spark in addled locks," I mumbled from a half-nap.



It was surgery, the smooth procedures on the moving trains,

The gains and plectrums scraped against the brains' spider veins,

To reorganize the sane, to bridge the broken definitions changed,

To prevent arguments' bone structure from fractures and sprains.



"Use gavels against the scalpels, sculpt with their judgment," a corona dream's habitant corrugated.

He pounded the gavel's end against the knife to chisel at the pituitary gland pulsing in his subject,

And her arms flailed like a horse's legs in heat-induced convulsion.
I thought it was done.



The Canson Merue train screamed in the night under earth to Yellowknife to meet Canadian soil as the Heavy Breather pounded his gavel.
Sammy Brock Mar 2015
Sometimes I would walk through the halls,
feeling nothing but anxiety.
My mind would become flooded:
What should I be doing…
what should I be saying...
what is everyone thinking?

See-
I used to float to the back of the room
to the back of my mind where
I escaped the world by reading.
Nerdy.
A loser. A freak.
I was too intelligent for my age.
It wasn’t COOL to get straight A’s.

Then I advanced to the seventh grade,
with no idea my life was about to change.
I made a friend.
Then Two. Then Three.
A former unknown concept: “popularity”.

Skater shoes, with laces you didn’t tie,
pink backpacks, hair straight as a pin-
Abercrombie-
led me to a moment I still hate today:
“Try some of this”.
It wasn’t COOL if you said no.

It was my first taste of intoxication,
my first taste of escape-
escape of my mind, the thoughts,
The anxiety.
The more I sipped, the more I let go.

The drinks would become stronger,
we raged every other night.
Tolerances were creeping up high,
control started waving goodbye to my mind.
It wasn’t COOL to be sober.

We laughed, we kid-
called ourselves “alcoholics”.
If only then I knew more, and the future I would soon endure
because of the potion we poured and poured.
It wasn’t COOL to be a lightweight.

Some years later I bragged and I boasted,
over the amount of liquor I could intake.
“The only girl who could outdrink the boys”-
the girl, I’d someday unrelated.
She’d fallen for everything society had wanted to create.
“Popularity”.

Then came the day I knew would eventually arrive-
the day of realization and what it meant to be alive.
I no longer wanted to be COOL.

Because with each drink, the value of life was swallowed-
I never have felt
quite that hollow. As if
all the knowledge that once filled my mind
vanished.

I yearned for nothing but to go back to the days,
when I was uncool
and got
straight A’s.
Suzanne Penn Jul 2014
Trade me...
lives...
Let me see
how ...'simple "
it is...
  to persevere...
when you are
the scapegoat...
work mule...
invisible...
until
what you haven't done done
becomes noticed'

Trade me...
bodies...
navigate the world
from a distinctly
different
perspective...
the receiving end...
of the invisible 85%
who rarely
get a second glance...
Let alone
a golden chance.

Go ahead...
walk the tightrope...
with two left shoes...
stretch your tolerances...
but you're working without a net
and no
there are "volunteers"
falling all over themselves
just to
  be the one ...

Don't bother
with your opinion
it is now
inconsequential.

As too...
are you.

I think
you'll find...
no seats saved;
no "extra" tickets;
your sentences will start
trailing off...
as you realize that
no one is listening.

I liken it
to the sounds of your car...
each sound
comforting and familiar...
you know exactly
how hard
you can push it....

...The same curves,
always handle differently,
in an unfamiliar
downgraded vehicle.

So to,
go our lives....
becoming callused
and indifferent
to the cars of others...
unless of coarse...
beep, BEEP.....VAROOM!!!!!
pretty...
Shiny....
RED!

Perhaps instead...
admiring ...
noticing...
appreciating...

There is
tremendous beauty
in watching a pro
surf the serendipitous waves...
all the while...
being charming, witty,
purposeful...
but most of all
unaided...
A gleeful grace

effortless...

Perhaps
one day....
my demolition derby
of a life...
will allow
the crossing of our paths.
And if
you still maintain
that smug
judgmental disdain
you seem
to be so proud of...
I will drop this *****
into 5th gear...
and you my pretty...
can **** my tailpipe!
There will be some who will no appreciate this piece...
Honestly, I didn't write it for them...
I wrote it for all of those
who have struggled
through all the Judgmental Disdain
of the other 15%
who feel as though
anyone could
because they did
...
Lin Cava Oct 2010
[Fairchild Republic, Long Island NY]

A multiplex movie theater sits there now.
Behind that a row of common eateries;
an Italian place, a mattress store, a stationery.
On the corner sits a Chinese buffet,
always busy.

Around the bend, a computer chain-store,
one of those trendy places that serve
fast food and ‘sports’ under the same roof,
overpriced spirits with kitschy, sticky bar offerings
whose names lean heavily upon original drinks
that they are not.

Across the lot,
the newest outlet of a chain liquor store;
a shoe store; cell phones and ‘stuff’...
some empty stores remain.

The last leg comes around,
the home of a national office supply store,
its sign stark red on white,
and a big box hardware store,
clashing its orange in reply.

A faux aviation tower tops the corner roof
of a well known sporting goods store -  
the builder’s hat tipped to this place
as once it was.

Beyond the façade a small airport still operates,
its real tower the same as years before
its runways dotted with lights, surrounded by roads.

Cemeteries always do well by airports.
Silent neighbors don’t complain about the noise.
Grandma is buried there.  Every person I know
who has history here, has someone buried there.
They are linked together but separate;
one Catholic, one Jewish, another a National
with its white simple stones lined up
just so, row upon row upon row.

I don’t know why it is easier to stand here
in this lot of the disingenuous,
rather than recall
what that place of the genuine became;
left to crumble, left to slowly die.
For here was the home of Republic Fairchild,
now among the dead,
as those cemeteries know.

And in the lot,
places that call themselves restaurants,
an intentional misnomer.
The multiplex, a huge construct,
only places a minor footprint
upon what was once the parking lot
to a national achievement.  

The Italian place, the corner to the
buildings that housed the offices,
and behind, the hangars to the war planes,
built with honor
and pride.

Where I stand now,
the ground once trembled
beneath the rumbling power of jet engines
built to near perfection,
to almost impossible tolerances.  
Their roar still haunting -
recalling the sound
of the free and the brave

In sorrow I watched as the buildings,
behind chain link
suffered blows from rocks thrown
by those too young to care or understand.  
Busted windows, shattered dreams.
I saw the tarmac split under natures call to green.  
Intrepid little weeds grew through each lot
and along each runway line.

The service road, now public -
beside it, overgrowth
still hides the tracks and rails
that once delivered beds of covered secrets
to be tailored and trimmed,
riveted and polished,
tested and tested
and flown
above these skies,
above proud faces,
eyes squinting upward in the sun,
above this place.  
This place, as it was then.

Lin Cava © 29-February-2008
Simon Aug 2020
Fantasy wasn’t always grim! It used to much more lighthearted than ALL facts put together into one fantasy collaboration. Which is exactly what’s happening in this very tale. This world. This setting. This… Well, there was once this one clan of people, who shined more than all other clans originating from the very same species who reigned as the “capital power”! An interspecies. A subspecies. Something that was greatly interwoven for many generations. Until one day, all clans became suddenly quiet. Distancing themselves from the very same who reigned as the capital power. One who merely outshined ALL the rest into complete seclusion! Doing something that was just part of their charm. Their charismatic behavior. Something that was docile (at first). Later on, showing it was entirely shameful of what they’d done too deserve whatever it was that gave them that very “capital power” to begin with. Seeing as how they control one of the most beautiful creatures that dominate the high mountain tops the world had ever looked up upon when kneeling down right at the setting foot of a monstrosity looked up to as a god! These very high mountain tops were where the most beautiful of creatures lived. Soaring higher than anything to have ever bear witness towards. A Griffin! The clan of the very species that was connected to all the other clans, are made up of the same originality! They are all related. Once. But entirely spread outward with benefits too ONLY…their own people. Their own clan. A testament to a claim willing to tear each other apart… Until there was nothing left but the once memory that echoed throughout the land. The world. Nothing but “ash” in the coming times would make this truth more fruitful than it truly appeared to be. A truth that would test this very clan that shined more brightly than all the other’s combined. The one with the so-called “capital power” would rather dethrone themselves completely! Than to give into fear of the contempt for their very actions. Something that tempts them (very much so) …. Another clan (so to speak). An enemy! Full of much more variety then the one who stood above the rest. The one (who in time) would come to be known simply… As the “Questionians”! Their very name comes from how they are a complete mystery. That may not exactly be what they essentially are called. Or refer to themselves (alone) as... Except when they do some unspeakable horror that claims witness to a crime that’d free every other clan put together (of the very same “original species” among different factions). If this exact thing actually took place, then everything would be put in complete shambles! Showing that they are the “shadow” of this very (“capital power”) clan’s democracy! A thing or force too GREATLY fear! Or else…. Or else, they would do something that would pave the groundwork for even truer fear to come about (sooner rather than later). Then what was actually taken seriously, previously. The clan that’s MOST “threatened” upon the arrival of the sudden “impending doom scenario” … Is none other than the clan known better as “the people of the Griff”! A very peaceful and agricultural people who don’t take anything out of account officially… Unless it truly meant something for them to bear witness to within their entire selves. Since there’s something very potentially “meddling” going on within these very people. First off, they keep too themselves “happily” alone. And unaided from the outside world and the rest of its (once) interconnected species that have spread out too wide to care (anymore) about coming back to the so-called “old days”. Old days when it was of the MOST prideful! Also, where the most of prime “examples” could be made and smoothed out for the better! But what the people of the Griff value even more (upon themselves directly) … Is the most beautiful creature in the land. The Griffin! A Griffin is perhaps the people of the Griff’s most prime example to the status of a mere god! The very homeland where they grow and stride and nurture their very motions upon the mountain tops that are also referred to as gods! But not to the people of the Griff…. O NO! They don’t look upon the mighty monstrosity that is their very “worshiping” deity. They worship the very creatures that live among the very tops of that very worshiping deity (that the other “separated” clans essentially worship). As time passed, they somehow were able to bind their very free will to this “blessing” that is these magnificent creatures! Binding also their very tolerances (to the Griffins itself). Just as life itself had also binded the people of the Griff (in time) to each other. Which is where the enemy comes in. The Questionians. Finally becoming “questioned” for why they’d have one of the most bizarre names for a “impending doom scenario” ever imagined! That’s because the enemy is literally questionless. They don’t have that which the people of the Griff just seem to (conveniently) have that they themselves…do not! Forcing the Questionians to claim (what they don’t have, to officially seize otherwise) for themselves…ONLY! But that was only apart of the tale that is made to be grim among ALL fantasy collaborations put together. As fantasy wasn’t always grim. Until the collapsing of a once (friendly) confrontation had already happened…long ago. Which sparked countless dangers that are totally unheard of… Until a hero was finally able to rise up above ALL others and risk the very land the people of this world breathed truthfully for themselves and themselves…alone! A hero who would (in due time) come about changing all specifics in a world that was once wholesome. Now it’s just a teetering land on the brink of war! War that was (more specifically) a mere illusion made to justify an even worse crime made to happen. The war effort was just a downplayed diversion not really bright for “comfort” itself to take rather seriously! However, the hero who’d come to truly redefine the locals of this land and its very world back into (seemingly) “ceremonial” times… Is a young man named “Salivardt”. Who apparently, is a member of the people of the Griff. Accompanied by the strongest heroine that would be this hero’s “go-getters” type guidance. Her name was that of the very feisty “Fabian”! Who has a very mysterious past (that is said: to be hinted at being a member of that very questionless clan group)? One who is on the brink of utter disorder from also (within themselves). And together, they would reach a very “breaking point” of how each of their very destinies “securely” …come together. (And how “linear” it must seem…) Would literally reintroduce the once (“interconnected”) state that each clan of the same species once shared. ALL coming back together into one singular species! Introducing a global front that is a respectful… “unifying whole”!
A “fantasy” testament of willpower both doesn’t a-and can’t agree with itself. Unless it’s politely willing too argue against something it’s never come across before… Until (once upon a time ago) something merely told it too…of a certain “destiny” going around!
PS… Would you certainly then start to argue against something you never came across before…?
Lucky Queue Jan 2013
"Nobody has ever measured,
not even poets,
how much the human heart can hold"
So now I wonder,
How might one measure this?
you could pour emotion and feelings
In until it overflows
And that may be the only way
For who can ask for a cup of love
A handful of laughter and sorrows
Three spoonfuls of spite
Perhaps a dash of smiles and indifference
But maybe too theses emotions and
These hearts are not measured the same
Each heart has its own experiences
Capacities and tolerances
Each emotion its own range of harshness
Level of strength, and color of feeling
Maybe Zelda had a point...
The quote is by Zelda Fitzgerald
Martin Narrod Dec 2014
We are the wild ones, so curious and superb. Hyper-expectations, mainly magic and its' feral treasures, we all welcome aboard. We are the technicians of the sky, messengers of the infinite moons. Inside the scythes and harpsichords, explosive reiterations of gravity and inner body magnetic yearnings.

We are stacked and galavanting in stockyards, whips at our sides, leather roughening its unstitched oiled calf hides up the hands onto these ethereal imaginings of utopian unicorn, walrus, and seahorse.

We represent the catalog of diversity. You are not as hidden as you think and you must not be. We of the wise wrestling candles off of our staffs, we count the mountain rich mountainside. Red, clay-capped, snow and hidden saplings adjusted against the rows of the peaks and plateaus.

We are named for our perversions of nature, our tolerances towards myriad injustices spanning our existence's time-sensitive minutia. We may be the kings and queens of Lollibellum, our flights have landed, our hands filled with duct-taped newspaper wrapped packaging and knock-off designer bags, a cardboard box with a few books that survived the burn.
Ken Pepiton Jan 2019
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
1:48 PM

Vows made to men
Vows made to men with wombs as well
Are binding,
Those bonds unseen can choke or
Smother thoughtlessly as a
Mother may overlay a babe in her sleep
With no purpose or reasoning at all.
God knows.

Pause
Are these allusions too cryptic
Or too occluded or, per haps,
Seen through a glass darkly?
Be aware be yond here
Be dragons.
Word by word, thought by thought.

Sensing of any sort of bond is awe worthy.
Imagine, do it, imagine building
The very first strand of DNA.
Imagine designing the code,
Then optimizing the code,
Compiling the code…
Before anything at all existed
The idea of the programmer exists.
(Genitive case, lost to English ere 2018, fershur)
Pause
We are getting ahead
Sync up do not loose this thread

Imagine imagining life, then
Life needs a place to be then
Life needs
Something like actualization realization
The word for that is what I am thinking
Is needed.
Life needs to be needed or
Life can never be.

Pause
Be cause
Next is too soon for some to follow

How many drafts of Genesis would we
Need to get it right?

Heady stuff, eh? Imagining
What God was thinking.

God knows, that's been done and
Done right once.

Imagine the mind of Christ.
Imagine an authority saying to you
"You have the mind
Of Christ."

Headier still, no? Imagining
What Jesus thought.

Seeing eternity from the foot of the cross
Is a less revealing perspective
Than seeing eternity from the cross.

Pause
I came back here then when I said then for than
Than is such
A powerful word properly honed,
Then, quick, cut through time
To make the difference. Then is a time word for past or future,
never now.

To prevent a future pause,
Try and do anything is non-sense and such
Shan't be tolerated
Trying to do is sensible and encouraged
Trying and doing will be forever frustrating, as doing is never done while trying.
Go yoda!

So, seems we go no further into the night.
East, we face, I reckon, seeing light along
The edge of night

Pause
Thoughts you think link to
Daytime TV in the 1960's
May be valid later and pauses
Beyond here
Shall be bookmarks in the role of landmarks
As a nod to seeker sensitivity tolerances
In the future.

Vows made to men and wombed men are
Original idea things shaped from
Original thought
Wow, right, knowing that gives you no clue
To the God thought, but
You can imagine what he meant, right?

When two are bound to be one,
Naught's t'be done to make that null
While life's in the whole.
Should life be left half minus one
The life left must be lived
Within reason.

A form ula. There is a form from
Which a sim ula crumb was made to
Fall from the master's table and
The dogs
Licked it up. Suddenly,
It all makes sense forever.

If you can believe that, you are
Bound to find bonds that bind
Without any restriction at all, once
You know such bonds are
At all. Such bonds are the substance
Of the idea of a vow.

All that's been before is before.

Wases were is a some what, odd, time-no-more state, which is
pertnear unthinkable in Post-Babel pidgin grunts and
Gestures signifying, states of being in contra-dictionaries. Some,
An amount un specified of
A thing I see, touch, taste, smell
A thing I lack it's name
I want some what/ What is that?

Upon that time, or just before, all ya'll knew ever words ever ones known ever since
til now. Now, no word you say can make me agree with your barbaric jibber. Got that?
Growlish.

Take, give, okeh, take, no give, no, okeh?
Deal.

Imagine how long it would take for a family
to become a tribe, then a tongue, then a nation.
Now, get this, that was --- remember we was
Plaining time down to all is (izzez being the phonic plural thereof,
But if I said ises or isis you would go all nutso meshigna Egypyoid and miss the point).
Is is pluralable.

Was is all that came before now. It is.
Then can be anywhen, but was is always before.
Was and before are one thing inside everything, time-wise.
Right? "same yes ter day to day to more oh, yes,"
Crazy good, insanely great, awe
Some id I ate ergo ego sum

Babel. Are we no longer clarifying. I feel like I am
Right out in the open. Can they see me?
This is, aha, I get it.
This is confusion. When adamkind no longer shared
One tongue ( imaagine thaat)
Agreeing wrong became less productive.
Two or more could agree on nothing
Without true effort.
So taking became easier than understanding.
Tect de tect pro tect infront to cover tegere

Integrit. Grit. Imagine you are so old you could have sold Grit.
If this were a chapter in a book would you read it? 60 chapters?
am i ee Sep 2015
i never drank to get drunk
but at times
i got drunk as i drank.

wondering why i drank...
i recall
a friend who never saw 44 at all.

Ft Lauderdale spring break
so pretty and sweet and petite
who could have ever seen
what a few
would eventually do
to you.

at least 3 rehabs
Betty Ford counting among them
you recounted how many
spoke of all the chardonnay
that finally got 'em.

at times i envied your easy life
or so it seemed.
new home,
new sheets and towels
bright white carpet and all.

successful husband
diamond jewelry
art on the wall
mercedes benz
and money too.

no worries about bills
to pay
jobs to get
love to find.

but i liked your VW beetle much better
and your painter's pants on you,
so chic and popular at the time.
your so sweet a nature
honest and true
generous and all.

blonde and adorable
the years took their toll.

i never knew the pain
you were going through,
you never told.

what an education
you did give,
when finally you
revealed
where you had gone,
where you had been.

tales of hidden bottles,
drinking on the sly,
hiding and covering
all of the lies.

the cops couldn't believe,
you could still be alive,
with a blood alcohol level
of 4 point 0.

how we grow strong,
build up the tolerances,
until they amaze and astound
each and even every one of us.

the years and the glasses,
caught up with you,
the first place you begin to bleed,
or so i learned,
when your liver goes  
and starts to harden
and your blood can't flow,
is through your neck and throat.

blood transfusions,
they
helped for awhile,
then one night.........

well one night...
that was all.

a cautionary tale...
for all you college bound...
you never know which one of you will be the one...
who never sees your next sun
the next sun's light.
inspired by Derek Devereaux Smith's 2015 Wine Party.  Derek's piece scratched at an old memory... his is sweet and moving and fraught with possibilities and hope.. and somehow it pulled me into thinking of someone i knew and loved.  in memory of my sweet and beautiful and talented suffering college friend.  you are always remembered & i shall see you ... hmm perhaps fairly soon.
Norbert Tasev Dec 2021
Between four walls, the whispering moonlight tattooed monster figures in my heart! From him I am so difficult and often speechless! Filled to the brim with the words of the Prophet, I deliberately trip myself from the pitfalls of obstacles! In my entrenched loneliness, I often associate with my memories! The eternal Child who could have stayed seems like a split mind! Defend and indict everywhere! The world has extended above my head! my true face would donate to the immortal Beloved with the true pearls shattered into many pieces!
 
There is an eccentric smile and a quiet song! Between the cages of my ribs, the pulsating throbbing of the World can be heard crystal clear! The broken tidal wave rumbles in the place of my heart attack and I am often afraid to live and hope! It is unbearable for people to often become more phlegmatic! "Perhaps it would have been better if I had made a separate emergency exit while there was still room to escape!" Celeb centrifuges to be vomited to fainting in feline-mouse ***** of V.I.P. party faces; as if this Age were constantly experimenting with those who have a dot of hazelnuts in place of their brains!
 
Many are just vulnerable puppets in a sphere of crosshairs! Renegade self-pity is already captured; The philosophies of death circle and often threaten! Above all chance, webs of secret connections float; scratching the wounds of the earth who really wants to plow! With the burdens of the world on my wing-shouldered shoulders, with the smile of posterity! I can't bathe in the shower of lukewarm rays, the cell grids are richly needed to shock me with a sure mind!
 
As a flock, this present society can be captured and driven at any time; As a shepherd of the stars, it would be good to endure more tolerances and humiliations
Marshal Gebbie Nov 2009
Bad communication
Is the scourge of the world,
Interactive skills, bizarre at best,
Are twisted, bent and curled.
Cancerous perceptions
With an eloquence extreme
Are as rare as fragile virgins
In a sea of passion’s cream.


Messages delivered
In verbal speech exchange,
Interpretive dilemmas
Intermittent on every page.
Disruptive diversions
Occur from time to time
But disdain for rules is punished
By a pain that fits the crime.


Feedback tells the story straight
Integrity is low,
When interaction deteriorates
And tolerances go.
Networking bankruptcy
Is globally compound
And the malady contagious
And malignancy profound.


Diplomatic overtures
Are wasted in this case,
Superior subordinates,
Enigmatic, in their place,
Hold sway over standards
Adopted near and far
And wayward phraseology
Is implicitly ajar.


For a speedy resolution
Lateral thinking is required,
Creative application
So imaginatively wired
To maximize the profits
And minimize the waste,
And to spread the dire instructions
With a mortal threat in place.


Improvement will be visionary
Resentment will decline,
Imaginative writing
Will appear like summer wine.
Eloquent discourse
Shall sprout about like herbs
And overtures of understanding
Will emanate from faceless words.


Marshalg
@theGate
Mangere Bridge
6 May 2009
- From Watching the Ripples Radiate

— The End —