"tolerances" poems
All estuaries flow eastbound, and the subterranean rail tracks keep forcing against the estuaries’ grain and dust foundations perpendicularly to them.
How can a sane proposition -- a quantification of syntax execution (those squirming cuticles through bonds of regression)— an excessive reflection, reflexive inspection,
Prove its sanity through continued suggestion?
Deductive insurrections stirred in memory,
A rumble, causing sediments to crumble,
Wineglasses balanced atop countertops tumble.
Spilling contents upon the grained wooden, elitists' floors.
"Anesthetic, onsetting tuberculosis in breath patterns,
Gavels ringing on rigged tolling tongs in caverns,
Dark tolerances to Copernican astronomy in shadows,
And the handle grinds as boxcar wheels' flints and steels catch and spark in addled locks," I mumbled from a half-nap.
It was surgery, the smooth procedures on the moving trains,
The gains and plectrums scraped against the brains' spider veins,
To reorganize the sane, to bridge the broken definitions changed,
To prevent arguments' bone structure from fractures and sprains.
"Use gavels against the scalpels, sculpt with their judgment," a corona dream's habitant corrugated.
He pounded the gavel's end against the knife to chisel at the pituitary gland pulsing in his subject,
And her arms flailed like a horse's legs in heat-induced convulsion.
I thought it was done.
The Canson Merue train screamed in the night under earth to Yellowknife to meet Canadian soil as the Heavy Breather pounded his gavel.
Oct 9, 2014
Oct 9, 2014 at 5:06 PM UTC
Sometimes I would walk through the halls,
feeling nothing but anxiety.
My mind would become flooded:
What should I be doing…
what should I be saying...
what is everyone thinking?
See-
I used to float to the back of the room
to the back of my mind where
I escaped the world by reading.
Nerdy.
A loser. A freak.
I was too intelligent for my age.
It wasn’t COOL to get straight A’s.
Then I advanced to the seventh grade,
with no idea my life was about to change.
I made a friend.
Then Two. Then Three.
A former unknown concept: “popularity”.
Skater shoes, with laces you didn’t tie,
pink backpacks, hair straight as a pin-
Abercrombie-
led me to a moment I still hate today:
“Try some of this”.
It wasn’t COOL if you said no.
It was my first taste of intoxication,
my first taste of escape-
escape of my mind, the thoughts,
The anxiety.
The more I sipped, the more I let go.
The drinks would become stronger,
we raged every other night.
Tolerances were creeping up high,
control started waving goodbye to my mind.
It wasn’t COOL to be sober.
We laughed, we kid-
called ourselves “alcoholics”.
If only then I knew more, and the future I would soon endure
because of the potion we poured and poured.
It wasn’t COOL to be a lightweight.
Some years later I bragged and I boasted,
over the amount of liquor I could intake.
“The only girl who could outdrink the boys”-
the girl, I’d someday unrelated.
She’d fallen for everything society had wanted to create.
“Popularity”.
Then came the day I knew would eventually arrive-
the day of realization and what it meant to be alive.
I no longer wanted to be COOL.
Because with each drink, the value of life was swallowed-
I never have felt
quite that hollow. As if
all the knowledge that once filled my mind
vanished.
I yearned for nothing but to go back to the days,
when I was uncool
and got
straight A’s.
Mar 4, 2015
Mar 4, 2015 at 3:52 PM UTC
Trade me...
lives...
Let me see
how ...'simple "
it is...
to persevere...
when you are
the scapegoat...
work mule...
invisible...
until
what you haven't done done
becomes noticed'
Trade me...
bodies...
navigate the world
from a distinctly
different
perspective...
the receiving end...
of the invisible 85%
who rarely
get a second glance...
Let alone
a golden chance.
Go ahead...
walk the tightrope...
with two left shoes...
stretch your tolerances...
but you're working without a net
and no
there are "volunteers"
falling all over themselves
just to
be the one ...
Don't bother
with your opinion
it is now
inconsequential.
As too...
are you.
I think
you'll find...
no seats saved;
no "extra" tickets;
your sentences will start
trailing off...
as you realize that
no one is listening.
I liken it
to the sounds of your car...
each sound
comforting and familiar...
you know exactly
how hard
you can push it....
...The same curves,
always handle differently,
in an unfamiliar
downgraded vehicle.
So to,
go our lives....
becoming callused
and indifferent
to the cars of others...
unless of coarse...
beep, BEEP.....VAROOM!!!!!
pretty...
Shiny....
RED!
Perhaps instead...
admiring ...
noticing...
appreciating...
There is
tremendous beauty
in watching a pro
surf the serendipitous waves...
all the while...
being charming, witty,
purposeful...
but most of all
unaided...
A gleeful grace
effortless...
Perhaps
one day....
my demolition derby
of a life...
will allow
the crossing of our paths.
And if
you still maintain
that smug
judgmental disdain
you seem
to be so proud of...
I will drop this *****
into 5th gear...
and you my pretty...
can **** my tailpipe!
Jul 2, 2014
Jul 2, 2014 at 6:03 AM UTC
"Nobody has ever measured,
not even poets,
how much the human heart can hold"
So now I wonder,
How might one measure this?
you could pour emotion and feelings
In until it overflows
And that may be the only way
For who can ask for a cup of love
A handful of laughter and sorrows
Three spoonfuls of spite
Perhaps a dash of smiles and indifference
But maybe too theses emotions and
These hearts are not measured the same
Each heart has its own experiences
Capacities and tolerances
Each emotion its own range of harshness
Level of strength, and color of feeling
Maybe Zelda had a point...
Jan 30, 2013
Jan 30, 2013 at 8:48 PM UTC
We are the wild ones, so curious and superb. Hyper-expectations, mainly magic and its' feral treasures, we all welcome aboard. We are the technicians of the sky, messengers of the infinite moons. Inside the scythes and harpsichords, explosive reiterations of gravity and inner body magnetic yearnings.
We are stacked and galavanting in stockyards, whips at our sides, leather roughening its unstitched oiled calf hides up the hands onto these ethereal imaginings of utopian unicorn, walrus, and seahorse.
We represent the catalog of diversity. You are not as hidden as you think and you must not be. We of the wise wrestling candles off of our staffs, we count the mountain rich mountainside. Red, clay-capped, snow and hidden saplings adjusted against the rows of the peaks and plateaus.
We are named for our perversions of nature, our tolerances towards myriad injustices spanning our existence's time-sensitive minutia. We may be the kings and queens of Lollibellum, our flights have landed, our hands filled with duct-taped newspaper wrapped packaging and knock-off designer bags, a cardboard box with a few books that survived the burn.
Dec 3, 2014
Dec 3, 2014 at 7:17 PM UTC
i never drank to get drunk
but at times
i got drunk as i drank.
wondering why i drank...
i recall
a friend who never saw 44 at all.
Ft Lauderdale spring break
so pretty and sweet and petite
who could have ever seen
what a few
would eventually do
to you.
at least 3 rehabs
Betty Ford counting among them
you recounted how many
spoke of all the chardonnay
that finally got 'em.
at times i envied your easy life
or so it seemed.
new home,
new sheets and towels
bright white carpet and all.
successful husband
diamond jewelry
art on the wall
mercedes benz
and money too.
no worries about bills
to pay
jobs to get
love to find.
but i liked your VW beetle much better
and your painter's pants on you,
so chic and popular at the time.
your so sweet a nature
honest and true
generous and all.
blonde and adorable
the years took their toll.
i never knew the pain
you were going through,
you never told.
what an education
you did give,
when finally you
revealed
where you had gone,
where you had been.
tales of hidden bottles,
drinking on the sly,
hiding and covering
all of the lies.
the cops couldn't believe,
you could still be alive,
with a blood alcohol level
of 4 point 0.
how we grow strong,
build up the tolerances,
until they amaze and astound
each and even every one of us.
the years and the glasses,
caught up with you,
the first place you begin to bleed,
or so i learned,
when your liver goes
and starts to harden
and your blood can't flow,
is through your neck and throat.
blood transfusions,
they
helped for awhile,
then one night.........
well one night...
that was all.
a cautionary tale...
for all you college bound...
you never know which one of you will be the one...
who never sees your next sun
the next sun's light.
Sep 4, 2015
Sep 4, 2015 at 3:19 PM UTC